My Son

When you were a baby in my arms I felt the need to protect you keep you safe from harm. I loved you the moment I first saw you, so tiny so perfect, I held you close and you nestled into my shoulder. Your brother was just 4 years old and loved you the moment he could hold you.

The very first time you smiled I knew that smile was just for me and I kissed your hair and you laughed.

The first time you walked I was there arms outstretched not wanting you to fall. But you tumbled many times and I was always there to kiss away the pain.

Time flew so quickly and you were a little boy now, and instead of looking for track suits and colourful clothes we were looking for a grey school uniform. So the day had come and I took your hand in mine and we walked and I left you, I waved goodbye and you waved, and I saw a tear in your eye, I wanted to run and hold you but I told myself not to look back, not to let you see me crying.

I cried again when I got home not knowing if you were settled or happy and couldn’t wait to see you and hold you again. But when I collected you that smile said it all and we chatted for hours.

You asked for a bike for your birthday it was bright red and you were so proud of it. One day you were both out on your bikes when I heard a lot of shouting lots of boys on bikes surrounding someone I caught a glimpse of a bike in the middle and realised it was your brother they were taunting. Then a skid, and a red bike appeared and it was not long before they had gone. I never knew what you said to them but protecting your brother came as second nature to you, the two of you were always so close and I know confided in one another, things that I probably will never know.

Time passed so fast and then you were a young man going it alone to get a new suit for your interview and then your first job. I knew without being told that you would get it, after all you were the best as far as I was concerned.

You fell in and out of love many times and you cried on my shoulder and I comforted you.

I didn’t understand when we went on holiday why you didn’t really want to be there you spent most of your time on the phone and I knew this time it was different this girl was special.

The first time you brought her home I noticed you only had eyes for her and I knew it would not be long before you would be leaving and she would be the one to hold you and be with you and I felt proud that I had brought you up to respect and love this other person and knew you would make her happy and proud the way you had made me.

She gently stroked your hair and I knew she would be the one to care for you and love you the way I had all these years.

You married shortly after. I stood with you when you said your vows. Sat with you at your reception, hugged you when you left. You would always be my son but you were now a husband too. I knew she had to come first in your life and you had to come first in hers and I felt so proud of you and always will.