Horror Comic

Night of the Corduroy Beast

After refusing straight
to cover my legs
with the maroon offenders,
a wrestling match ensued
at the top of the stairs.
To the death! or until
I gave in, let myself be clad
and simply sat screaming.

Revenge of the Flowerbed Siren

Sick day off from school.
I trundled, trailing Mum as she weeded
nettles from narcissi.
She looked up, gasped,
sent her topless, just-budding daughter -
who protested that the boys on the street
wore the same - inside.

Curse of the Gravel Maniac

On the promise of fifty pence
for a good job done, my mind wandered
from the paintwork of the car
and I dropped my sponge on the drive.
Soak it? Ha! Time wastage. Back
on the bonnet (skreek), boot (ereeeek)
and driver's door (barreeek). The only thing
more grating was my Dad's squeal of terror
at the spiderweb lines
screaming through the red.
My Mum sighed, put down her book,
fetched teacups.

Attack of the Whine Harpy

To this day, I can't think what
particular disagreement I concocted,
as I entered Mum's room, but I seemed
determined that whatever she said,
I would uber-sarcastically rebuke,
thinking she could take it.
At the first sneer, though, her eyes filled,
voice struggled to stay on track,
and hand cupped her face.
A letter fell from her hand
and, sorry monster that I am,
I fell on her, arms soft.