C: Evolution - Part Three

Martin lay there for some time listening to the beep..beep.. of the
alarm.

Beep...beep...beep... beep..

God he hated that sound, every morning he vowed to buy himself a radio
alarm; he would much rather wake up to the sound of music, than to that
harsh high pitched noise. He rolled over onto his side and slammed the
button to switch the thing off. Then lay back into the soft welcoming
penumbra of his pillow. He closed his eyes again and didn't want to
open them. Feeling the gentle warm caress of sleep creep over
him.

It would soon be time for college. He contemplated sciving off today.
But today was the first day of his exams so he couldn't; and also the
thought of seeing Shazaar again got him all excited. He had a crush on
Shazaar. He had fancied Shazaar ever since the first day at college.
His long dark hair; gorgeous dark Asian features. These were partly why
Martin fancied him, but more than anything else it was his voice.
Martin loved listening to Shazaar speak, a wierd reason maybe, but
Martin had odd fetishes; and one of his fetishes was listening to the
human voice. It had to be a deep voice though with an unnusual accent,
and Shazaar had that.

He wasn't sure if Shazaar felt the same way about him. He knew Shazaar
was queer, he had seen him on the gay nights quite a few times, and
made casual conversation with him. But Shazaar seemed to go for the
more quieter men. The one's who didn't say much, the strong silent
types. Shazaar never seemed to show any interest in him other than to
make friendly conversation. Though they both got on well and seemed to
share many things in common. Martin didn't get the feeling Shazaar
fancied him, which made his torment worse every time he saw him,
everytime he spoke to him. He longed for Shazaar intensely.

Martin wasn't too keen on gay nights, if he was to be honest - he found
them a bit unappealing, a bit too cheesy for his liking. He much
preferred a good rave with a mixed crowd of people. He went to the gay
nights for the simple reason that he was desperate to find a partner.
He was curious about forming a relationship with another male. Eager to
learn more about and explore his sexuality. Otherwise he probably
wouldn't bother going to them. It wasn't really his kind of
scene.

The last few men he had slept with hadn't been to his liking at all.
When they had finished fucking, he had felt all empty inside, having
ejaculated the hungry excitement, there was nothing left to go on, no
conversation, no things in common. They weren't men he felt he could
have a relationship with.

He would lie there and realise he couldn't stand sharing the bed with
this other person. He would wish that the person lieing next to him was
Shazaar. At times while he made out with these other men; he fantasized
that he was making out with Shazaar. Imagining he was gently carressing
his body, making him moan with soft pleasure.

Martin felt himself grow hard at the thought of this, the excitement
pushing against the fabric of his boxer shorts. He stroked it gently...
teasingly... gripping it in his hand momentarily.. pulling it.. then
stopped himself before he went any further.. he didn't have time for
that today, he had to get to college. He had already lain in bed for
too long.

With a great effort of will; he got up and stretched. Trieing to will
his erection and sexual thoughts away. He got down on the floor and did
a few push-ups and sit-ups to wake himself up a bit, and get the
adrenaline flowing within him. He stretched his legs. Then began
practising a few martial arts moves. A few kicks and punches, he shadow
boxed for a bit and went through some of the forms that he'd learnt in
order to reach black belt. When he was satisfied and feeling more alert
he went into the bathroom and got washed and ready.

"Martin." his mother called from downstairs. "Hurry up or you're going
to be late for college."

"Yes Mum, I'll be there in a minute."

"Well don't be late. Remember today is your first exam."

"Yes Mum." Why is it Mums always have to state the obvious like:
'Remember today is your first exam' As if he was going to
forget..

He made his way downstairs and poured himself a bowl of cornflakes and
sat down at the kitchen table. He looked at the back of his Dad's
Gaurdian whilst he shovelled the cereal into his mouth.

His Mum looked at him with motherly concern."Are you nervous honey?"
she said.

"No, the exam will be a piece of cake, I've done all my
revision."

He heard a mumble and a humph from his Dad's invisible face hiding
somewhere behind the Gaurdian.

"What was that Dad?" he asked.

His Father ignored him.

Martin finished his cornflakes and washed up his bowl and slammed it on
the side in frustration, trieing to aim the sound towards his father.
Then collecting his rucksack; he kissed his Mum on the cheek.

"Bye Mum," he said.

"Good luck sweetie." She said. Martin hated being called sweetie. It
made him cringe everytime.

He turned to look at his ignorant father. "Bye Dad." he said.

"Bye Martin." his Father said without glancing from the paper. Martin
found that annoying, he wished his Dad would show more interest in him.
He knew it was because his Father hadn't yet come to terms with his
homosexuality. Ever since the day he'd found out about it, he had been
cold towards him. Martin resented his Father's attitude.

***

He went out the door and made his way down the street towards the
college. Trieing hard not to let his anger towards his Father effect
his thinking. He had to concentrate today. He felt confident that he
would do well in these exams. He had done so much revision that he was
dreaming about physics now. He started humming a song to himself to try
and cheer himself up and take his mind off things.

As he walked along humming, he became aware of something strange.
Nothing totally out of the ordinary, but enough to puzzle him
nonetheless. It seemed to him that the street was bending ever so
slightly to greet him, almost like his presence was causing something
wierd to happen to his surroundings. It was similar to visuals he had
experienced on L.S.D. but nowhere near as intense. It didn't last for
very long and as he continued to walk down the street it stopped
happening.

He wondered if it had been a mild hypnogogic hallucination. He had
suffered from these ever since a child, having on average about one a
week; sometimes he would have really bizarre ones that would last for
as long as half an hour. But he'd never had one occur this long after
waking, it was ussually immediately upon waking that he would have a
hypnogogic hallucination. He shrugged his shoulders and didn't pay any
more mind to it.

As he got nearer to the college he began to feel the butterflies
within him, and hoped the exam would be as easy as he imagined it was
going to be. He fumbled around in his pockets for a cigrette. Damn he
had left them in his bedroom. He had been banking on that cigrette just
before the exam started, now he would have to go through the entire
exam without a smoke. He contemplated running back to the house to get
them, but realised he didn't have time now. So he went without, trieing
hard not to think about the nicotine withdrawal he was feeling. Hoping
it wouldn't effect his concentration in the exam.

-End of Part Three-