Waiting For Resuscitation

Three months
Squeezed by thoughts
Of where did I go wrong?
We weren't suppose to grow up
Never to crash
Or burn
At hands of another.
Thought you were the one
Until you let her in,
And world exploded into
Falling flames
I stood in middle of road
Head bowed in deep shame.

Three months
I grew up,
Battling tears, loneliness,
Struggling to breathe
Between weight of fears,
You almost crushed me
Between sheets
Whispering
I love you deeply.

Because I knew it was so

Three months
Of deepest sorrow
Spring became summer
Weeds destroyed our garden
I rose from broken knees
Stopped stumbling
Changed course of my compass
Steered heart to safer waters
Where all was empty
I resurrected a new person
Welcoming numbness from
Aftermath of hateful hurricane

You ripped me apart.

Three months
I hear your voice
Words sprawled across pages
Creative misfit souls
You call us
Needing one another
Like oxygen
For each time I inhale
Hearing those words
I derail
Fighting tooth and nail
To reach for plain sailing

But failing

Three months
Unravelling
Becoming ship wrecked
Reeling in our Armageddon
Do I remain hard headed?
Or empty hearted?
I’ll follow you down
I’m sure
It’s writing on the wall
Lion sleeps tonight
As I become a child
Entering unchartered flight
Seeking songwriter
Who keeps my air inside his lungs
Waiting for resuscitation
As known mouth covers mine.

I can’t breathe without you.

Collapsing lungs exhale sighing.
I wonder why do you have to be right?