Sporty Blue The Fair Dinkum Kangaroo
An Australian ex-patriate marsupial living in the ghastly Berkshire town of Reading felt he spent enough time searching for vinyl Lenny Bruce in the cramped record shop in Harris Arcade and took it upon himself to have coffee and cake at Munchee’s. There he sat on a torn leatherette chair and perused the laminated menu. It didn’t take long for one of the waiting staff to approach the kangaroo. “Would you like something to drink?”
“I’m ready to order my good chum.” The waiter nodded and Sporty Blue continued. “I would like a coffee and walnut cake and a latte if you be so kind.” The waiter who was taking English classes in his spare time was positively perplexed. Sporty Blue then asked if there was something wrong. “So you want coffee and walnut cake and a latte?”
Sporty Blue’s face frowned. He looked towards another member of staff stood behind the counter and beckoned her to come forth. The young girl hobbled over and asked if she could help. Referring to the text on the menu Sporty Blue asked the waitress if ‘coffee and walnut cake’ meant a cake made out of coffee beans and walnuts or was it a mug of coffee served with a slice of walnut cake. “It is coffee and walnut cake.” Assured the young waitress. Sporty Blue turned to his original waiting person and ordered a coffee and walnut cake and a latte. Whilst he waited for his caffeine heavy order Sporty Blue day dreamingly gazed out of the window of Munchee’s wondering if he should have gone to Picnic across the road. No point, it was always full. The coffee and walnut cake arrived with the latte. The former given about a minute in the microwave oven. Sporty Blue enjoyed it.
Later in the evening Sporty Blue hopped along Friar Street with the intent of popping into the Walkabout Inn. As he was hopping an elongated white limousine stopped outside the Bar Risa and Jongleurs drinking and comedy combination. Sporty Blue also stopped and as he stood in front of the Friars Walk shopping centre with the ghost of the C&A logo still present above an empty shop façade he observed a gaggle of party hens dolled up in little pink cowgirl hats and sashes with the bride-to-be shaped like one of The Roly Polies that used to be a regular comedic fixture on ‘The Little and Large Show’ sporting a puke pink imitation feather boa. Sporty Blue recognised one of the hens, called out her name. The party hen, a fellow Australian who went by the name of Alison called back with a smile and a wave before heading into Bar Risa with the poultry posse. Sporty Blue full of night time cheer hopped towards the Walkabout Inn. On the way he was stopped by a recent Islam to Christianity convert who asked if he could spare some change as he had nowhere to live due to being disowned by his family. He added that he could tell Sporty Blue wasn’t a native of Reading because the kangaroo didn’t immediately instruct him to fuck off.
© 2009 Clinton Morgan