Ode To The History Teachers and Presenters by Mr Alfred N.Muggins

Pretty history teachers,

submerge me in your explanations,

Your ever more detailed knowledge,

Your calming consideration and all knowing understanding.

I remember them all,

Bountiful and stable,

Kind and articulate.

Elizabeth the 1^st, measured and most sensible,

(She would have made a good history teacher or presenter,

If she had lived in our modern age,

As would the history teachers and presenters have made good Queens (or Kings),

If they had lived in the past!).

The tortuous First World War and its origins,

Such a saddening and hellish history,

and yet rich in detail and questions,

colourful and fascinating.

The wily Henry VII, auld Henry’s father,

Destroyer of the nobles’ castles.

The female presenters of history on TV,

Long hair and sharp humour,

Understanding of all historical irony.

Sweep me up in your delicious feminine understanding.

Could you not be our Queens and banish Kings and Tyrants,

Ruling us with your feminine grace and majesty,

Your easygoing wit and deep understanding?

Heal your people and smooth their woes.

Are you Britannia or the Goddess Diana?