Playing games with her heart

Gabby was fuming! Just when she thought that she’d got over him, he came rushing back into her life. Disturbing whatever little peace and happiness she’d managed to restore since the last time he left. And all it took was a blank email with ‘Hey…’ written in the subject pane.
What was she supposed to do now? Reply? And boost his ego to neverland? That was the last thing she wanted to do.
She looked at her watch. Thankfully, it was five o’clock, so she decided it was best not to reply just yet but to sleep on it for the time being. So she went home.
When she arrived home, she couldn’t get Anthony out of her head all night. Damn him! All the hard work she’d done to get him out of her mind the last three months had all been for nothing. She hated when he played games with her emotions.
Gabby came to the realization that she obviously still liked him; Why else would she be so upset?
But why now, she argued with herself. Why email her now after so long? After all, he ended it.

She sighed; It was useless arguing with herself. She knew only too well that it would get her no where. She got up brusquely. She needed a drink! She poured herself a glass of white wine that lay abandoned at the back of the fridge, drank it in one go and poured herself another.
She turned on the TV in the hope that it would distract her into oblivion but to no avail, the memories came flooding back like a sudden feeling of morning sickness.

She remembered how it started.
One day out of the blue, he came to her desk at work.
‘Hey’ she heard. A black handsome man in a grey pinstripe suit was standing behind her smiling. She remembered being totally surprised and intimidated, conscious of the piping eyes and piercing ears of her nearby colleagues who were pretending not to listen.
It was an open plan office and normally, it was buzzing with people and there was always a lot of noise but all of a sudden, it went deadly quiet.
‘Hi’ she replied, waiting to hear what he wanted.
‘I’m Anthony’ he stretched out his hand.
Yes, and… she wanted to say but just looked at him waiting for the rest.
‘I work in Finance department’ he added.
She shook his hand, completely dazed by his boldness to approach her in front of all her colleagues. It was obvious that he fancied her.
‘You are?’ he probed.
‘Gabby’ she answered.
‘Where is the accent from?’
‘France’ she said softly, conscious that this wasn’t the place to have such a conversation.
‘Oh wow, does that mean that you speak fluent French then?’ he asked.
‘Duh!’ she blurted out. She couldn’t believe that he was asking such a dumb question.
He laughed. He must have realized how stupid he sounded. Infectiously, Gabby began to laugh as well.
Then they stared at each other for a short while. His eyes were soft. It was the first time she’d notice how handsome he was and that he had light brown eyes.
‘Well, I’ll catch you later’ he said finally.
‘Ok’ she said girlishly ‘see you later’. And then he left.

There was an awkward silence in the office. Gabby looked about her and noticed that everyone was looking her way.
‘What?’ she said loudly. And they burst out laughing.
‘Ooh Gabby’s got an admirer’ Sabrina said.
‘You go girl!’ Tina said, ‘what was that? She whispered with a girlish look on her face.
Gabby couldn’t stop blushing. ‘I don’t know’ she whispered.
‘He’s cute though’ Tina nudged her.
She smiled but said nothing and sat at her desk and resumed her work.
So, that’s how it all started and ever since she couldn’t get him out of her mind.

***

The next day, there was an email.
It was him!
‘Hi’ it read. Just that, ‘hi’.
‘Hello’ she replied.
‘How are you?’ another one came through.
‘Fine thanks’ she replied. She felt a little excited. It was a feeling that she hadn’t felt for a long time. Three years to be exact.
‘Can we have lunch?’ another email read. Just like that, such straight forwardness and confidence, she thought. It was a quality that she surprisingly liked in him no matter how unexpected it was sometimes.
From then on, they became lunch buddies.
Everyday they met at one pm sharp in the park near work whether it rained or shined.
There weren’t a lot of email conversations apart from the occasional ‘hello’ on mornings.
As time passed by, it became apparent that she slowly but firmly got hooked on him. By the third or fourth week they’d known each other, she was fighting an arduous battle with herself as to whether she loved him or just liked him very much.
Problem was that, she knew very well that this was going no-where. Anthony had a girlfriend with whom he lived with for about four years and Gabby was due to get married next year.
The park was always teeming with people from work so there was no chance or hope of doing anything naughty – not even a kiss. And of course, there was also the small problem that it seems all men suffer from. They never talked about their feelings. She didn’t know how he felt about her. She was constantly trying to read him which was an extremely hard task. She knew what she felt and knew that if she could, she would reap the pants off him.
The memories were now most vivid in her mind and her eyes were starting to well up when she reminisced about the times when he revealed that he wanted to kiss her. It took her all by surprised and it created an awkward moment causing her to miss out on the kiss.
At another time while they were having lunch in the park, he whispered, ‘the things I would do to you’. It was obvious that he was playing with her mind. But she loved it! The excitement of it all was enough and worth it. Those words were the promise of wonderful things to happen, promises of delight, pleasure, romance and perhaps even love. The lord only knows that she was more than ready and willing to take the risks. She was willing to have her whole world disrupted to be with him. Up to this day, she wonders why she was so hooked on him.

She now remembered how it ended. It was all Brian’s fault. Gabby met Brian in the post room. He was the new administrative assistant in the Finance department.
One day they got talking and found out that they had a lot in common, like art, music and books. So they often chatted about this and that. It became obvious though after a while that he liked her. Once, when she got a paper-cut, he took her finger and made a point of putting pressure on the wound while staring her straight in the face. It was very awkward although she conceded to herself that if she’d liked him, it might have been romantic. But she was hooked on Anthony, Brian didn’t stand a chance.
Of course, Brian and Anthony knew each other, working in the Finance department and all.
Having gotten so close to Anthony, Gabby told him about Brian. Nothing in the world could have prepared her for his reaction. He exploded in a jealous rage and walked out. The last thing he said to her was ‘why don’t you go talk to Brian then, since you and him have so much in common!’
She was shocked by the turn of events. She couldn’t believe what had happened. She hadn’t heard from him ever since and she didn’t contacting him either. Pride prevented her from doing so.
For months after that, she fought a grueling battle with herself every time she was at her desk, (which was all the time). She thought of emailing him a thousand times and was often looking to see if he’d email her, secretly wishing that he would. When she was in the elevator, she would look at the number three with temptation. It was hard! She was constantly scared to run into him at work or on her way to the station like they sometimes did before.
She never got a chance to tell him what an idiot and how childish he had been for overreacting the way he did.
She also spied on him at home by looking at his facebook profile. He was constantly on her mind.
She drunk some more wine and then closed her eyes.

***

Gabby woke up the next morning and realized that she fell asleep on the sofa. She refreshed the computer screen of her laptop that was sitting on the coffee table and saw Anthony’s facebook profile page come up. She must have been looking at it last night.
‘That’s it!’ she said out loud. If she had been waiting for a sign, this was it. She decided that she would reply to his email as soon as she arrived at the office. After all, why did she have to be so cynical? If she didn’t reply, she would never know what he wanted and… maybe, just maybe, they could pick up where they left off.
So, she got up, showered, dressed and headed to work anxious to get to her desk. Her mind was buzzing and she wondered what she would say.
When she arrived, she replied saying, ‘Hi, how are you?’ she decided to keep it simple.
An hour later, a reply came.
‘Hi, how you been. I’ve got a new job’ it read.
Gabby couldn’t believe what she was reading.
Negative emotions were rushing through her and she didn’t understand why.
He was leaving!
Just like that her world came crashing down again. It’s amazing how he did it with such few words. It turns out that he wasn’t coming back into her life but in fact, he would be out of it forever.
It was over before it even began.
He got a new job somewhere - she didn’t know where because she’d never asked.
Gabby was back to square one.
She often wondered ‘what if’, but I guess we’ll never know.

She undoubtedly felt sad after having arrived at the stalk realization that it was over and this time for good, but somehow the end was a sweet one. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, she tried to console herself. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be and she would be better off focusing her energies on her fiancé instead.
Eventually, her heart felt at ease and it relaxed again. Now she could pick up her life where she left it, before she knew him. She would marry Chris although she knew that her feelings for him had faded since they first met three years ago. But life wasn’t always so simple was it?

That’s another story.