COOOOKIE!

It was five o'clock in the morning and there we where, bug-eyed and
spent. Clubbing at Shine can do that to you. Stevie, Cams, and myself
had not said anything to each other in about an hour; the evidence of
copious dope smoking lay crushed into ash trays, and hung in the air
highlighted by a beam of diffuse sunlight from a single tiny
window.

There was absolutely nothing on television. Well, it was five o'clock
in the morning. I was in the unfortunate position of being in remote
control of the television, flick!, news, flick!, dudes speaking in
spainish, flick!, ice hockey, flick, teletubb.., flick!, "...find our
way, to were the air is clean, can you tell us how to get, how to get
to Sesame Street.." I looked around the room and received no protests,
and considering the state we where in, this was equivalent to a
thunderous endorsement.

This episode of Sesame street featured a Bald Bloke, Big Bird, 1 2 3 4
5 - 6 7 8 9 10 - 11 12!, Bert and Ernie, etc, etc. Specifically it
featured, my favourite, the Cookie Monster. Let me set the scene :
Cookie Monster was a train driver, and he was driving this train to a
big party on the other side of the mountain. It was a Hoe-down, and
Cookie Monster's gravelly voice was being accompanied by the obligatory
chorus of muppets : cows, horses, etc. Cookie monster was in fine form
that morning, singing about all the cookies, jelly and ice cream that
was on the train, and how good the party was going to be when he
arrived with the cookies, jelly and ice cream, how much he liked
cookies, jelly and ice cream..... suddenly disaster strikes!
LANDSLIDE!

(Z)

Cookie monster applies the breaks and their screeching is deafening,
muppets are flying everywhere, confusion reigns. When the dust clears
the Hoe-down has turned into a rather downbeat song, Cookie Monster
disembarks and checks out the damage to the tracks. He observes that
the rocks and the snow have covered the track completely, and there is
no way the train will be able to get around the mountain to the party.
In a voice which sounded like its origin was the deepest bowels of
hell, "What am I going to do?" Cookie Monster lamented, "Stuck out here
all alone, with this train full of ice cream, jelly and
cookies.....cookies...", his right eye started to twitch,
"....COOOKIE!"
'What is cookie monster going to do now?' I thought to myself. He is
going to eat the cookies of course.
So I was aghast when the Cookie monster said "No! I won't eat the
cookies. They are for the party."
"This is not the Cookie monster I know!", I exclaimed, breaking the
long silence.

Cookie monster is a monster. He has an unrelenting passion for cookies.
He will go through you for a cookie, and whilst you are lying dazed on
the ground wondering what the number of that blue hairy bus that smelt
vaguely of chocolate chips was, he will go through your pockets just in
case you are carrying an emergency cookie.

The three lifeless souls in that room where suddenly en cited by this
travesty, each of us shouting at the T.V. Could it be possible that
Cookie monster has been toned down? What does that mean for the rest of
the muppets? Will the Count start spelling? Will Oscar stop bitching?
Could Elmo become more annoying?

And then Cookie monster redeemed himself.

"I KNOW! I'LL EAT THE MOUNTAIN INSTEAD!", and he started munching away
at the snow and the rocks, cleared the landslide, and started the train
and the Hoe-down again. Cookie monster had become Hardcore.
Cheers and claps filled the room!

And the moral of the story kids, never, ever doubt the Cookie
monster.

This story has been brought to you by the letter Z, and the number 3,
and it has been a production of the Childrens Television Workshop.