Post-Lockdown

Alex and Amber sat in the Palm Court Hotel waiting for the waitress. The place was heaving with post-lockdown celebrants, hoovering up large quantities of Italian coffee, cream cakes and four course breakfasts. Malicious gossip and wall to wall hypochondria ebbed and flowed, like a turgid ocean, frothing with effluent.

After a long wait, the girl approached in black uniform and full face screen.

"Good afternoon. Can I interest you in any welding?"

A fat man farted.