79. The Turn Of A Friendly Card

The Devil handed round cigars, saying if it was good enough for Hank Fonda and Joanne Woodward then they’d play poker like they did in Dodge City. I didn’t point out that we were a few players short for a repeat of that particular hand of five-card draw. Lilith had five unopened packs of Bicycle Cards in front of her. Mr D waved a hand and said, ‘Take your pick, Gabe.’

I pointed at the middle deck. Lilith raked a red painted nail through the cellophane and it all came off at the same time. I figured I’d watch her closely. No use having a straight deck, if the dealer’s crooked. She shook the cards out of the packet and into her hand. A southpaw’s tricks were harder to see, as most dealt cards with their right. Lilith started with a simple overhand. It looked kosher. That segued into a hindoo. Then she moved onto a Faro Shuffle, which did nothing at all to wherever the cards were after the hindoo.

‘No Mexican Shuffle, Lilith?’ I said.

She shot a glance at Satan, who was picking a shred of tobacco from his long tongue. He flicked it away from the table, Jehovah caught it in his left hand and seemed disappointed it wasn’t a fly.

‘Do it. We’re playin’ straight, Lilith.’

She pouted and went into the long drawn out spiral shuffle. If the Mexican was her last touch before the deal, there’d have to be other ways of cheating in play.

When she finished, Mr D held up a hand. ‘What’ll it be? Chips or Silver Dollars?’

‘Doubloons,’ I said.

‘One doubloon ante, no blind bets, five doubloon limit on the first hand. No draw, we play 'em as they fall and we’ll play until the money runs out. This money, Gabe, yes.’

The sun came out from behind a thunderhead and the coins sparkled on the gingham cloth. Mr D and I ante-d up with a doubloon each.I was to Lilith’s left with TAFKAG in between. He’d taken no interest in the shuffle and neither did the deal interest him, when I received three cards and The Devil two. It was my turn, I could open and I had an advantage, having one extra card. That meant I had more idea of what my chances could be when the deal was completed. But I had three singletons and not a picture card between them. I could have checked and bet on the second round, hoping what the Devil opened on his two cards might give me a clue. But I didn't.

‘I’ll open one Doubloon.’

The Devil raised the bet to two. Lilith dealt me two cards and Mr D, three. Now we had what we had. If the devil wasn’t bluffing, he’d had at least a pair or the start of a flush or run. I looked at my cards. They were black and red and had fewer pictures than a telephone directory. I had the lowest playable hand. The lonely 10 of diamonds gave me a 10-high hand. I could bluff or fold. I laid my cards face down on the table, beside the meagre 3-coin pot.

‘I fold.’

Lilith swept up my cards and held out her hand for the grinning Mr D’s.

Jehovah touched me gently on the arm, ‘He always bluffs. That’s the real reason he’s called The Father of Lies.’