Bronte's Inferno XX (The Sphinx Principle)

We were crawling uphill on a one-and-a-half track road. The rain was biblical, the two sheep and a dog looked like they'd missed the memo from Noah, we had to stop so they could get past. I wondered what the Rolls's immaculate paintwork looked like now. Charon's face was like the thunder which was the only thing missing from the storm outside. The Phantom V felt all of its two-and-three quarter tons. I was glad I wasn't driving. We had passed the Beck Hall Hotel five minutes ago, but it was still visible out of the rear window. Perhaps I should have booked a room.

I tapped Charon's shoulder,

'How far now? And don't say round the next corner, I'm not five.'

Charon gave a sound half-way between a laugh and a grunt.

'Sat Nav's gone haywire. It said about a mile away as we passed Beck Hall…'

'About half-a-mile, then?'

I saw the shrug of her shoulders when she said, 'Maybe.'

'Anyway,' I felt like talking. To take my mind off the weather – and whether it would stop us reaching our destination. 'How come the sat-nav is kaput? I thought Kobold was Charnel House's tech genius.'

The driver stole a brief glance over her shoulder.

'I don't work for Charnel House. Nor does Kobold. We're sub-contractors. Underworld Limo Hire is me, I am a limited company. Most demo-' She cleared her throat, 'people are on zero hours contracts. Charnel House and The Editor-At-Large were way ahead of the game on that one.'

'Still, I'm surprised the SatNav doesn't work.'

There was a flash of lightning outside, I was half-way through saying 'one thousand' in my head when the missing thunder arrived.

The metalled road ran out. There was only enough gravel for a single track "road".

Charon braked and switched off the engine. The Son et Lumière show was still going on outside. The even heavier rain meant there was nothing visible beyond the Rolls's windows.

'I'm not driving into mud when this gravel runs out. You'll have to walk. Last I saw of the SatNav's map it's at the end of this track. Bethesda Pool Farm, wasn't it? '

'I'm not going out in this.'

She gave me a look like she was Jules Winnfield. I hoped she didn't have a gun – or a bible.

'There's a sou'wester in the boot. I'll pop it for you, but I'm not getting out of the car.'

Jules would have said 'trunk', I thought.

I watched the car reverse slowly down the gravel until the rain made the Rolls disappear like God had used the Sphinx Principle in his latest magic show.