Ode To The Umbung by Boatyard Kindling

Boatyard Kindling (1871-1930) Born in Reigate to middle-class parents. Attended minor public school, Chastisement 1882-1886. Colonial Service in Kallibar 1887-1895. Seconded to Foreign Office 1895-7. Summarily dismissed after an incident in Regent's Park involving a goat. On release from Reading Gaol 1899, returned to Kallibar as Poet Laureate and Tender of the Umbung's Goats. Work includes: The Umbung Book, The Second Umbung Book, Bordello Ballads, Tall Tales from the Hills. Most famous for the paean to the Great Literary Umbung: Ode to the Umbung. (see below). Died in the hooves of his favourite goat Cyrus in 1930.

Ode to the Umbung, written 1901 in honour of the Great Literary Umbung's Birthday: Taken from the Farquhar Edition with editor's notes by St.John Crusty-Olde Farquhar.

Ode to the Umbung

Hail Umbung! King of Kings,

men and goats and other things.

Umbungu!(1)Umbunga!(2)Weighty Chief

with humongous belly and eyes of a thief,(3)

O wise and worldly potentate,

strong aura from the figs you ate,

what flatus from you emanates!

All Kallibar your waft awaits.

1. Umbungu - standard vocative case in Kallibari formed adding 'u' to masculine nouns.

2. Umbunga - Vocative of Obsequy used solely for addressing the Umbung on state occasions: formed by adding 'a'.

3. Dishonesty is greatly prized in Kallibar. (Would I lie to you? Ed.)

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