Blokes aren't supposed to be emotional and certainly not hormonal. Yet my adult life seems to be one long roller-coaster of emotions. The traditional gender-based roles still linger, but most have been examined and found wanting.
I cry at Strictly, I weep with emotion every time I replay Susan Boyle's emotional debut on national tv. I feel emotion more keenly as the years advance. So I ask, is this age? Grumpy men are traditionally older in years and I must admit, I'm good at that bit, but cry at the soppy bits?
All I can do is live with these emotions and enjoy them I suppose. Embrace them rather than curse them. A big part of me actually dreads being heartless and unfeeling. Yet I wish I could control them. The problem is that the right emotion seems to evade me and I cannot command how I should feel.
I hear people saying "but that's emotion...it's a free spirit!" and I can't dissagree. Still, certain situations call for certain reactions and my true emotion always betrays me. Nor can I predict how I will feel in a given circumstance.
The truth is, I don't care anymore. I am what I am and that will not change. Well, the reactions and emotions may change, but the unpredictability of what will surface is a random thing for me and long may it be so.