Elaine

On either side the profiles lie

You choose the ones which catch your eye

The pretty girls get picked, not I -

Elaine of Cardiff (Splott).

For everybody swipes me left

And leaves me stranded, quite bereft

I'm not romantically deft –

Elaine of Cardiff (Splott).

I saw him on eHarmony

His coal-black hair, all blowing free

And knew that he's the one for me –

Elaine of Cardiff (Splott).

I changed my profile, made it slick

I knew that we were bound to click

And loaded up a Taylor pic,  

Elaine of Cardiff (Not).

He swiped me left and made me cry

I don't want any other guy

There's nobody who wants to try

Elaine of Cardiff (Splott).

Out flew the mobile, floated wide;

The phone screen crack'd from side to side;

"I'm bloody sick of shadows," cried

 Elaine of Cardiff (Splott).