AYUSHMAN

AYUSHMAN

March 6, 2010

Ms. Dutta complained that Ayush had forgotten to submit his Home Work twice in the last week. He, on the other hand, insisted that Ms . Dutta always punished him for the slightest of reasons. Like pulling Bindi’s pigtail in the Maths Class. Or asking for permission to go to the loo. Sometimes for adding 0.20 and 0.40 and coming up with 0.72. Should he always write 0.60? He knew the answer. It’s so boring to write 0.60 always. So he decided he would become a bus conductor. But then he would have to do Math all day long. He would become a Racing car driver. Ayush Chatterjee. Third Standard. Albert High. Roll No 9 (9.00 presently).

March 24, 2010

Ayush watered the plants on the terrace with Dadan. How he wished he could be a gardener! He could water all the plants of the Environa Complex.
“Dadan, let’s go for a Movie! Code IV: Extinction. What say? Matinee show?”
Ayush jumped at the idea. If only he owned a Movie theatre, he could watch his favourite movies whenever he liked. He also wanted to become Sourav Ganguly. More than anything else, however, he wanted to sing. Off key in the shower. Loudest when he peed with an occasional jig set to music only he seemed to be able to hear. Next Stop: the para music school. Every Thursday 6:00 – 6:30 PM, with 18 other children. Yes, it was affiliated to a music council. Yearly exams. Ayush proudly wore his Identity Card round his neck all the way home.

April 16, 2010

I haven’t seen my boy so diligent. He gets up on time. Practices the Ragas for half an hour daily. Ms.
Dutta has stopped writing complaint notes in his Almanac. He helps Baba give the car a weekly wash.
“Ma, Surita Ma’am said ‘Very good’ when I played the Ragas correctly on the Harmonium”. But sometimes he was totally convinced that he could ‘become’ Sourav Ganguly. He would take off his tee shirt and whirl it in the air.
Neha’s birthday was just a week away. Oh! I haven’t told you about Neha yet. Best Friends, these two were. We bought a pencil box for her and a water bottle.
“A Birthday Card, please Ma.”
“Ok. Let’s see…okay this one. Read me the message printed on this one”, I said picking up a card.
He frowned, “Always talking about studies! I don’t want cards. Let’s go.”

April 27, 2010

It was Neha’s birthday. She looked cuddly in a Blue party dress. Ayush clapped the loudest when she cut the cake. This irked Neha. He smiled apologetically. Her mother and I couldn’t help giggling. She loved the pencil box.
“Don’t drink the cold water, Ayush. You won’t be able to sing.”
“Give me that piece of cake. The one with the chocolate bird.”
Inside the pencil box, Ayush had placed a piece of neatly folded paper.
“Dear Neha
Wishing you a verry Happy Birthday.
You are a good girl. When I don’t come to school, you give me all the Class Work. Your handwriting is verry good. You always get A+. Bindi and Soham gate B. I have the same coloured pencil box. When I don’t come to school, then only you bring it. They gate mixed up. Nothing else is coming to my mind now. Please bring chicken sandwich tomorrow to school, ok?
Ayush Chatterjee
III A

May 26, 2010

Ayush has been selected for Little Wonders: India’s Little Stars. Baba heard about the audition venue and rushed, grandson in tow. There were three selection Rounds. Ayush battled his way in.
Viola! He’ll be on TV! Please vote for him everybody!

June 15, 2010

Summer Vacation is going on. Ayush has progressed to Round 4. From Round 5 onwards, public voting and elimination will begin. It’s hard for us- Baba, Abir and me. It’s like we are away in a boarding school. Home is where Ayush is. He’s allowed to come home on the weekends, though.
When the show goes on air, everything seems like a dream fulfillment. Smooth. Too smooth that it’s ominous at times. Too good to be true. What is annoying him is an irregular but persistent coughing sometimes late into the night.

June 24, 2010

Abir had called up from the Studio. Ayush was running a slight fever and had collapsed on the set.
“Don’t worry. We have brought him to the hospital. Dr. Mitra said it was due to exhaustion. He had vomited on the night before. He added that Ayush was overexerting himself. He was amused he said. Such a feisty kid!”
How Can I not worry?
“I want my baby back. He’s got all his life to compete. He could get plenty of chances. He doesn’t even understand he’s fulfilling a dream! How can I not worry? You bring him bring!”
I was adamant.
“Ashmita, it was a light fever. He’ll be up again in no time.”
Sure enough. Two days it took him to rub away the fever, pick himself up and go charging after his rivals. He would talk about his new friends, Sampriti, Avinash, and Tarun. He would ask about Neha. One day, we took Neha to the sets. When the cameras pointed at her, she stood up and said, “
Ayush is my best friend. He gets scolded often but never sticks chewing gum on the teacher’s desk. So, please vote for him.”

August 1, 2010

Round 8. Only 4 participants remain- Ayush, Sampriti, Mayank and Tarun. Mayank fumbles and is eliminated. Ayush proceeds to Round 9 with 31% votes. And the Popular Choice award thrice in a row. Shooting for the Round, Ayush collapsed again. And vomited. Blood, this time. His body was burning. My cries were drowned in the Ambulance siren. His frail body lay limp on my lap. Once he opened his eyes and touched my cheek and blacked out again. The ward boys had to almost wrestle him away from me. We stood outside the I.C.U. I was falling into a bottomless chasm. Only Abir’s face was visible from below, high up at the other end, unreachable.
“We’ll come out of it. Nothing can keep him down for long. He’s Ayushman for God’s sake!” Abir’s voice was shaking.
“Don’t fool yourself.”
Abir was shuttling back and forth with prescriptions and medicines. My parents had come. Ma broke down when she saw Ayush caught up in a complex web of tubes and channels. The precise heave and fall of the little chest; the restful legs; the quiet face. So unlike her grandson. She began to read from the Hanuman Chalisa she always carried with her.

August 15, 2010

Special episode. Grand entry. Ayush never failed to soak up the limelight. Only this time he was cautious. He ran and screamed less. His body wasn’t permitting. His energy levels were down by a bushel. Oh, by the way, his Test reports have arrived. Laryngoscope. Video- stroboscope. In layman language, they didn’t have much time to wait for a Biopsy.

September 6, 2010

“I’m going bald faster than Dadan. Mayank ran his toy car on my head. He said that next week they’ll race their cars.” I so wanted to meet Mayank’s mother. His lips had considerably blackened. I didn’t understand all that Dr. Mitra said. Only the relevant part. I was losing my son, one step at a time.

Abir is watching some videos. Ayush’s homecoming, his Annaprasan. Ayush chewing the plastic ducky, sleeping on the backseat of the car. In his first uniform. Neha understood. Ayush could guess he was unwell. He looked forward to the trip to Corbett National park around Christmas after he won Little Stars. I too wished he won – this race against his fate.
‘Dirghaayushman Bhava’

October 1, 2010

Ayush has opted out of Little Wonders. He was in Top 3. He won a cash award of Rs.1.30 Lacs and a promise of playback singing. He could barely stay awake for long stretches now-a-days. In his cabin he was allowed his i-pod for only ten minutes, and that too when either Abir or I were present. He would read sometimes and hum feebly. And he said he missed us very much. I gathered him to my bosom. I dreaded the thought of gathering emptiness later.

October 9, 2010

Everyone was glued to their TV sets. Ayush in his cabin watched every move. He wanted Sampriti to win the Little Wonders championship. And then something strange happened. One of the judges walked in through the door and held his hand. The crew entered, followed by Abir.
“Why did you-“
His “look at him” silenced me.
Ayush was leaning against the pillow wearing a glint of surprise and happiness. Pure joy.
“Ayush, how are you feeling now?”
“Great! You are not there?”
“We all wanted to meet you. Ayush, say hi to your friends out there!”
Ayush went live once more. The Giant Screen lit up with his smile. The audience clapped hard and long. His friends called out to him and he spoke to them. And he laughed small ripples of laughter. Ripples which radiated out to my heart as shock waves. Neha came in with her parents. It was going to be the happiest day of his life. Ayush sang softly for a couple of minutes. It was recorded.
I don’t remember exactly when it happened. Only that the screen went blank. Nurses rushed out and I was whisked to the corner of the room. Abir was holding me back from something. What it was I don’t remember. It couldn’t be from Ayush, when they were carrying him away to the Emergency Room. I kept searching for him in the room once our eyes had met. I knew he needed me to hold him.
“He’s scared! He needs me. Let me go!” I was forcing Abir away. “Ayush! I’m here! Ayush!”
He kept n looking at me till they dissolved in the corner.

October 12, 2010

While packing his clothes, Abir switched the MP3 player on his mobile. We uploaded his songs on the YouTube. All of them. Ayush’s voice reached the bottom of the void his going away has created. It spread out on the bed, spilled on the floor, ran along the corridors and flowed through the garden till it dropped from the tree like a ripened fruit…