Crooked Panacea : Scene 1

CROOKED PANACEA

A one act play for a cast of seven with 3 extras in 3 scenes.

SETTING : The play is set in Rome one summer.

CAST :

Juliana : 20’s

Zena : 20’s

Gianni : 20

Petra Havisham : 40’s

Gordon Havisham : 40’s

Simon Palmer : 30’s

Inspector Vocetti : 50’s

3 policemen  (non-speaking parts)

 

Act 1 Scene 1

The scene is an apartment in Rome. There is a sofa centrestage, and a small table with telephone placed in front.

Juliana is sat on the sofa in her apartment on the phone to her father.

JULIANA : I’m just loving it here. Today I visited the Fontana della Tartarughe. Apparently someone stole one of the tortoises some time ago, so now they are only facsimiles but it is a lovely spot. I love the fountains of Rome.

(Pause while her father answers)

JULIANA : Yes, I’ll be careful, Dad.

(Another pause)

JULIANA : Don’t worry, everything is going really well. I’m enjoying myself.

(There is a knock at the door)

JULIANA : There’s someone at the door. I better go, Dad, I’ll ring again. Bye.

(Juliana answers the door)

JULIANA : Oh hello, what can I do for you?

GIANNI : I’m Gianni, I live in the apartment next door. I saw you arrive a couple of days ago. Is there anything I can help you with? I am a student at the university. I’m studying English and Italian.

JULIANA : Oh that’s very nice of you, Gianni. I’m Juliana. I’ll be here for a month. I’m on holiday from England.

GIANNI : People are coming and going in this apartment all the time. My mother tires of it, but I don’t mind. I have met some very nice people but not many have been English. You look very young, do you work?

JULIANA : I’m not in work at the moment, Gianni. I left school at eighteen, worked briefly as a secretary, but I’m between jobs now.

GIANNI : What do you want to do?

JULIANA : Oh I don’t know, maybe more work as a secretary, meet a handsome, young executive, get married and settle down.

GIANNI : Oh no, there is too much living to do before that, Juliana. You must enjoy yourself here in Rome on your holiday. I will be your accomplice here.

JULIANA : I think you mean companion, do you, Gianni? Accomplice has a distinctly pejorative connotation. It usually means that you are involved in crime.

GIANNI : Oh no, I don’t mean that. English can be complex – one must be so careful.

JULIANA : You are funny, Gianni. You must know the term malapropism.

GIANNI : Yes, I know it. Mrs. Malaprop and all her mistakes.

JULIANA : I would love you to accompany me, Gianni. Rome is such a wonderful city. I want to see every fountain while I am here. Do you know Respighi?

GIANNI : Yes, I know his music.

JULIANA : I just love his ‘Fountains of Rome’. They are such magical pieces.

GIANNI : Have you been to the Spanish Steps or the Via Veneto yet?

JULIANA : No.

GIANNI : We can go together. I am free this afternoon.

JULIANA : Sorry, Gianni, I am busy with something today. Maybe tomorrow. I met a lovely couple yesterday at the Villa Medici. They are coming for drinks and then we are going out to lunch.

GIANNI : Oh I see. I don’t want to intrude.

JULIANA : No, of course not. I am sorry, Gianni, but I am sure tomorrow we can go somewhere together.

GIANNI : I will see you tomorrow then. Ciao.

JULIANA : Ciao, Gianni.

(Gianni exits. Juliana goes into the kitchen at the side of stage.)

PAUSE

(Juliana re-enters witha vase of flowers and places it in the middle of the dining table which is upstage)

(Juliana looks at her watch and then sits down and flicks through a magazine)

(There is another knock at the door. She opens the door)

PETRA HAVISHAM : Oh my darling, Juliana, how nice to see you again, and so kind of you to invite us for pre-prandial drinks. You’ve only been in Rome two days and already you are entertaining us.

JULIANA : You were so good to me the other day. You told me so much about the Villa Medici.

PETRA : Oh we know it like the back of our hand. When you live in a foreign country you know more about it than the locals; isn’t that so, Gordon?

GORDON : Yes, dear, I suppose it is.

JULIANA : Just take a seat on the sofa. I’ll get you something to drink. What would you like?

PETRA : G and T for me.

GORDON : I’ll have a small whiskey, Juliana.

JULIANA : Both with ice?

GORDON, PETRA : Yes please.

JULIANA : I’m meeting people all the time. I’ve just been talking to the boy next door. He’s called Gianni and seems ever so nice. He’s offered to take me all around Rome. He’s a student at the university.

PETRA : Oh that’s lovely, Juliana, someone your own age. You should have a fine time. We don’t want you getting bogged down with us oldies.

JULIANA : Not at all – you are very active.

PETRA : Not as much as we used to be. I have arthritis, Juliana, but at the moment I’m taking a wonderful new drug called Opex; it does wonders – it’s a miracle cure.

JULIANA : Oh yes, I’ve heard of it. It was in the papers not long ago.

PETRA : Yes, I feel like a new woman.

JULIANA : It’s produced by Fisals Pharmaceuticals, isn’t it?

PETRA : Yes, that’s right.

GORDON : Fisals have a monopoly here, Juliana. I think they started off in England and now are more or less taking over in Italy. Their HQ is here in Rome.

JULIANA : Yes, I’ve read about them. They are doing so well on the stock exchange while a lot of drug companies are going down the pan.

PETRA : They are giving people what they want, that’s why.

JULIANA : I suppose so.

GORDON : They have opened a new factory on the outskirts of Rome; it’s all very hi-tech.

JULIANA : Oh enough of drug companies, I want to think about my time at Rome’s cultural hotspots.

GORDON : What do you want to see especially, Juliana ?

JULIANA : The Villa Borghese, the Villa d’Este, the Pincio Garden.

PETRA : Oh stop there. We just love the gardens in Rome. Since we’ve been here we’ve studied all of them. We just love gardening.

GORDON : Yes, Juliana; living in a foreign country gives you such an appetite to learn all about its indigenous plants.

PETRA : We love the palms here, the mediterranean plants and flowers. The bouganvillea on our terrace is really lovely and our garden is full of strelitzias, golden chalice vines, cordylines, and all sorts of Italian annuals.

JULIANA : Oh I don’t  know much about plants. I just know I love to be in gardens; they are so romantic, and the gardens of Rome are so special.

GORDON : Villa Dora Pamphili is beautiful and well known for its gardens. You must go.

JULIANA : I think Gianni next door wants to take me to these  places. He has a scooter; I’m going to ride pillion.

PETRA : Oh that is marvellous, Juliana. The weather at the moment is so good too. We haven’t had a cloudy day for weeks, and certainly no rain.

GORDON : No, take advantage of any offers you can get, Juliana. You are only young once.

PETRA : Don’t embarrass the girl, Gordon.

GORDON : She’s not embarrassed, Petra.

JULIANA : No, of course not. They taught us at school to snatch the day.

PETRA : Carpe diem, that’s the Latin for it. The world has so many possibilities, Juliana. You must not let any chances to enjoy yourself pass you by.

JULIANA : No, I won’t. And do you know Gianni is very handsome.

PETRA : Oh good. These Italian men, they make such virile lovers.

JULIANA : I don’t know about that, but I’m not blind to his charms.

PETRA : No, my dear. You have a good time. You grow old too quickly. Both Gordon and I know that. We’ve had our lives and really we’ve been blessed.

GORDON : Yes, we can’t complain.

JULIANA : Drink up and then we’ll get off to lunch.

PETRA : Which restaurant are we going to?

JULIANA : It’s not far away, just at the end of the street. It’s called the The Farnese.

PETRA : Oh I know it, it’s.............

GORDON :(Interrupting) Don’t use any more superlatives or I’ll go mad.

PETRA : Oh, Gordon, you are such a cantankerous, old goat. All I was going to say is we know the restaurant and it is worth going to. The food is excellent.

GORDON : You are incorrigible, Petra.

PETRA : I just love life, Gordon. And so, I think, does Juliana. Let’s get going, I’m hungry.

(All exit)

(Lower lights. There is a pause. Several hours have passed then the lights are raised.

(Enter Zena with Juliana)

ZENA : I can’t stay long, Juliana. I have so much to do.

JULIANA : But you are my cousin, Zena, not a foreign spy.

ZENA : Yes, but we must be as professional as possible, and I have a lot to work out to nail those bastards.

JULIANA : My mother died in a lot of pain. I want Fisals to pay. They killed her.

ZENA : You’ve got to get to know one of the chief executives. He is young, outgoing, fairly dynamic.

JULIANA : But will he tell me anything?

ZENA : I don’t know, you’ll just have to hope so. Basically, Juliana, I don’t want you to be a stranger to him.

JULIANA : What do you mean?

ZENA : Sleep with him.

JULIANA : I’m just getting to know a young, Italian boy. He’s called Gianni and he lives next door.

ZENA : If you want to avenge your mother’s death, Juliana, you’ll have to forget this Gianni. Simon Palmer must be your number one priority.

JULIANA : He’s the Fisal executive?

ZENA : Yes.

JULIANA : How am I going to meet him?

ZENA : Well, we know he goes to a certain bar at lunch times near Fisal’s head office. You best go there tomorrow, Juliana.

JULIANA : What, pick him up?

ZENA : Yes,  I can’t see why not. It’s the only way.

JULIANA : You have been woonderful, Zena, offering to help me like this. I won’t forget it. I’ve met a couple here that are taking Fisal’s drugs. I feel really sorry for them. Petra Havisham has arthritis and is taking Opex, the same drug that killed my mother.

ZENA : Oh well, you can see how she does.

JULIANA : Well apparently she is fine. She thinks it’s a miracle cure.

ZENA : Be at Mario’s bar at one tomorrow. Simon Palmer is thirtyish, fair-haired, brown-hazel eyes and rather good-looking. If you are there early enough you’ll see him pull up in a red Porsche. He always orders dry Martini on the rocks.

JULIANA : But Gianni, I promised I’d see him tomorrow.

ZENA : You won’t be able to, if you want to get to the truth, Juliana. I’ll have to be going now. I’ll keep in touch.

JULIANA : Bye, Zena.

ZENA : Ciao.

(Zena exits)

(Juliana goes over to the open window of the apartment, breathes in the warm night air and makes a wish)

JULIANA : I wish Gianni and I can be true friends.

(There is a knock on the door. Juliana opens the door)

(Gianni enters)

GIANNI : Hello again. Are you free tonight?

JULIANA : Oh, Gianni, I am so glad you called. Tomorrow is difficult for me. I know you wanted to take me all over Rome. There is a problem with my passport. I must go to the embassy, and you know how they make you wait in those places.

GIANNI : Oh, I see. You are a strange girl, Juliana, but so pretty. I think you are the loveliest girl I have ever seen.

JULIANA : Such compliments, Gianni.

(Gianni moves closer to Juliana, so they are almost touching by the window)

You are very close to me.

GIANNI : It is the best place, Juliana.

(Gianni kisses Juliana)

JULIANA : Oh, Gianni, you are a fast worker, aren’t you?

GIANNI : I don’t believe in, how do you say in English, beating around the bush.

JULIANA : No, you certainly don’t.

GIANNI : I think we are meant to be lovers. Are you trying to avoid me tomorrow?

JULIANA : Oh no, I have to go to the embassy really.

GIANNI : There are usually no such problems in Italy for English tourists.

JULIANA : Well for me, there is.

GIANNI : Mmm, we must make the most of the evening then, Juliana. Really I don’t know much about you.

GIANNI : Do you have any brothers or sisters back in England? I have my little brother here. Perhaps you have seen him.

JULIANA : Yes, I saw a boy outside on the street yesterday. He was about ten years old, black, long hair.

GIANNI : Yes, that would be him, Giotto.

JULIANA : I am an only child.

GIANNI : Giotto can be fun. I play football with him in the park.

JULIANA : Maybe we can take him somewhere together.

GIANNI : Maybe. You aren’t keeping anything from me, are you, Juliana?

JULIANA : What makes you say that?

GIANNI : Your procrastination and this embassy trip tomorrow.

JULIANA : Really, Gianni, I think you are getting paranoid. Let’s just enjoy what time we do have together and forget anything else.

GIANNI : Okay, alright then, but I want you to be mine, Juliana. I don’t share my girls with anyone.

(Lights dim)

(End of scene)