Mad Smithers and the Government's All Under Control Plan : Episode 3
By hilary west
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Mad Smithers 3
(Notice on wall says ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION CLINIC)
(Smithers is sat in waiting area. A nurse stares at him while he is seated. As he goes in to see the Doctor, Smithers says to her.....
Smithers : I wish I was as hard as you.
(Enters into Doctor’s clinic)
Doctor Flopp : So you need a hard on.
Smithers : I’m failing in the bedroom, Doctor. Even the drug penis is not that good.
Dr. F : Do these penal exercises, whenever you want it, it should make a difference. They are from the penal code.
(Smithers goes to see Babette at the sex parlour)
Babette : On with the dummy clitoris, Smithers.
Smithers : Ooh, I can feel it working. Those exercises of Dr. Flopp have helped too.
Babette : Good, I will prepare myself for entry to satisfy you.
Smithers : The dummy clitoris has turned me on, Babette, now I need a full woman.
(Phone rings)
Babette : There is the phone. I must answer. (Answers) It’s for you, Smithers.
Malcolm : (On other end of the phone) We’ve got to evaporate the country, Smithers. I’ve had a nuclear warning from Hardcastle.
Smithers : You fool, Malcolm – you mean evacuate, and I’m in charge anyway, not you. Just hold everything, I’m coming back to the Institute.
(Back at the Institute)
Malcolm : I think it was a false alarm, Smithers.
Smithers : Just when I was beginning to suffer. The celician belt, Malcolm, I want to feel pain. That will really turn me on.
Malcolm : I will always grant more pain, Smithers.
Smjithers : Have you found any more victims for the experiments, Malcolm? Apart from those tramps at Loose Lucy’s.
Malcolm : Yes, I’ve found a bail hostel inmate and a black-haired man.
(Back at Loose Lucy’s)
Babette : Smithers was well-pleased with the dummy clitoris, Lucy.
Lucy : I am not surprised – that fleshy rubber turns most men on.
Babette : Smithers is taking something new now to get it up – he is quite a man.
Lucy : Oh good – we want him satisfied. That Dr. Flopp really know his job.
Babette : Do you want me to see Luigi Pesto this afternoon, Lucy?
Lucy : Yes.
Babette : He’s so demanding, Lucy.
Lucy : Fie on you, Babette – it’s only more dogwork in the suburbs.
Babette : I suppose so.
Lucy : He loves a good bitch.
(Back at the Institute)
Smithers : Are we ready for my new experiments, Malcolm?
Malcolm : I think so.
SmIthers : Good. Shock the cocks.
Malcolm : What will this achieve, Smithers?
Smithers : We’ll know how much electricity these cocks and hens can take, Malcolm. Invaluable when treating broken down sods from sink estates. In the government’s ‘all under control’ plan no one must be unhealthy. It simply won’t be allowed. Shock the cocks again, Malcolm.
Malcolm : This is turning me on, Smithers.
Smithers : I’ve allowed for that, Malcolm. Ingest the lice now. That will keep your excitability levels down.
Malcolm : Of course, Smithers, anything you say.
Smithers : And now those people you’ve found for me, Malcolm. bring me their hearts on a silver platter –the bail hostel fool and the black-haired youth.
Malcolm : But, Smithers, the black-haired youth is 74.
Smithers : Good, make it quick then. There is no time to lose.
Malcolm : Why do you need their hearts?
Smithers : The government wishes to harden all hearts, Malcolm. The people have been reported to be too soft. I must test these hearts and if they are too soft put hardener in the water.
(There is a knock at the door)
Smithers : Who is that, Malcolm? Answer the door.
Malcolm : It’s Mr. Hardcastle with Andrex and Darren.
Smithers : Bring them in.
Hardcastle : Muster the master.
Smithers : At your command, Hardcastle.
Hardcastle : These boys will be complicit, Smithers. I know how to control them.
Smithers : How?
Hardcastle : Do as Smithers says, boys, or Mariah Carey will sing again.
Darren : Oh no, please anything but that. We will do anything you suggest.
Hardcastle : There are too many subversives, Smithers. We are going to have to robotize people. We want machines. All individuality must be crushed.
Smithers : Good. I agree. I want them all under control.
Hardcastle : Yes, Smithers. They must all be the same – no one and I mean no one must deviate.
Smithers : This is what I’ve wanted to hear all my life.
Hardcastle : The future is in robots.
Smithers : Believe you me, Hardcastle, I will do everything the government wants. I will dominate a new robotic society. With me at its helm anything is possible. Today Accrington, tomorrow the world.
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the future is indeed robots
the future is indeed robots and it's going to cause immense social problems.
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