An Innerview in Response to an Inspiration

Why do I write?

I was thinking about co-ordination and confidence. Writing is about the co-ordination of putting letters together that form thoughts and thought together that form ideas and ideas together that  express a momentary synedoche that has the possibility of a much longer life than the author. I have more confidence in my writing than any other phase of my life. Confidence is a beautiful thing.

Yeah, right...but why do you write? What the fuck is wrong with you?

What's wrong with me ain't none of your goddamned business.

Well, you make it my business when you put your thoughts and adventures down on paper for me to read. I'm asking a simple question. Why do you do it?

Do you know what the word synedoche means?

I know it was the name of an incomprehensible movie directed by Phillip Hoffman shortly before he killed himself.

Welll the movie Synedoche might even be a synedoche for Phil Hoffman.

Okay what's a synedoche?

The best way to explain synedoche is the way that Thornton Krell explained it to me. He told me that Rosebud was a synedoche.

You mean the sled in Citizen Kane?

Not just the sled but the memories associated with the sled which were part of the puzzle and mystery regarding the life of Charles Foster Kane. The butler heard his dying word and that word was "rosebud". Nobody knew what he meant by Rosebud but they figured out that if they could figure out what the old man meant when he uttered his final word "rosebud" that they could figure out the man's life which would lead to an expose which would sell a lot of papers. Of course, they never found out what "Rosebud" was so Kane's life remained a great mystery which it would have remained in truth even if they had figured out what Rosbud was because Roswebud was merely a synedoche.....an assumed missing piece of a puzzle that completed the puzzle which it never really does as the puzzle still has missing pieces as well as pieces from other puzzles mixed into it and will always remain unsolvable.

Kinda like the Kennedy assasination?

Yeah, year after year "experts" come up with what they think is the missing piece which invariably leads to more missing pieces except in the closed minds of those who discovered the synedoche in the first place and insist upon its validity until we realize that Tippett killed Kennedy or some other incomprehensibility

Okkkaaayy but what does that have to do with why you write.

I have a compulsion to figure out my own life so I search my memory for places that I might find my "rosebud". When I find thosse places, I'm compelled to type them out just as I'm doing right now and when I'm "finished" the co-ordination of words and thought captured on paper is called writing and that's what I do and why I do it.

In other words, you write as an exercise in self-analysis and ego?

Hey, I myself and you and everybody else are living synedoches, part of the puzzle of the internal and external universe beyond our understanding so we need to start small and take a look at ourselves and do what we can to convey that look beyond ourselves and beyond our existence and if any of it hits a target above and beyond itself well that's a good thing.

Sounds like a lot of bullshit to me? One more time, why do you write?

I write because I've got nothing better to do and nothing that I do better. Are we done now?

Yeah, ya wanna get a pizza?