The Schemie Assassin AKA Bobby Robertson Part 1

Scottish Special House Scheme, Dunfermline Fife Scotland - 33rd Floor Siute Downtown Miami Polar opposites. Can I take in the intensely sureal situation I have found myself in. Not only bizzarre but life threatning in the extreme, more so for the poor South American dead man walking I have firmly in the crosshairs of my M107 Long Range sniper rifle. It sounds fucking ridiculous listening to myself ! M107 Long Range sniper rifle, 6 weeks ago I couldnt even spell M107!! Yet here I am tweaking the Day Optic Sight like i'm Carlos the frikkin Jackal. What a fucked up absurd situation. I think our (soon to have his head blown inside out) friend will be ready to take out in the next few minutes. This gives me some time to reflect just exactly how the fuck I got here so far away from home so quickly and so seriously.
After playing game after game of pointless shoot em ups on the PS2 then subsequently XBOX360 I got myself thinking it must be easy as fuck to kill someone with a sniper rifle. Also there has got to be some serious cash in it. I come into the ring a respectable 12 stone, can handle myself ok and have a reasonable head on my shoulders boasting 7 GCSE's to my name. Not bad considering I was delivering milk from the age of 14. Anyway jobs were few and far between in West Fife and I had toy'd with the idea of joining the Navy. That was until G Dubbya Bush launched two scathing illegal wars on the middle east. Die for my country yes, for that cunt no chance! Anyway back to my short sharp rise to international assassinations. Fucking about on the internet one day I come across some sites that mentioned assassins were in short demand and a guaranteed kill would fetch upwards of $80-000USD. Even with the shitty exchange rate it is still better than a kick in the stanes with a pair of winkle pickers. So the seed of thought was sown, however to do this as anonimously as possible I used a cyber cafe in Glasgow to set up a website. It was very simple indeed, it was just a black page with a mobile number in the middle of it. www.global_cleaning.com was the url, quite apt and funny I thought. That was unless you were the poor fucker on the business end of my mission statement! So the number I used was from a mobile i bought also at the Barra markets in Glasgow all cash and no come back, sim card was also picked up seperately. I did get several as I may not want to stick with the same number for more than one connection. Ok so all I needed now was someone to notice my site, understand it and oh yeh a gun, and knowing how to use a gun would also be helpfull. The holidays were coming up and I thought I would have more luck plying my new found trade / idea abroad, Miami always struck me as a fun place and also a place were I am sure people get taken out for fun, well lots of cash probably. I took the shitty British Airways from Manchester to Fort Lauderdale MIA, I hoped that the airports initials was not going to be an acronym for me being Missing in action over the next few weeks. Anyway I got through the ever so friendly US immigration services, JESUS what a bunch of miserable cunts that lot are!! Anyway off to my hotel the Days Inn down Miami SOBE. It was hot as fuck, for Miami it was probably shite weather but for a Fifer like me it was fair toasty. Sweatin like a peadophile at playtime I checked in and got some sleep. Ok part 1 of the plan was to get word out, not everwhere but just the sleasiest Hispainic pool bars. Probably most other nationalities on earth would be shiting it going into these bars at night but not the Jocks for some reason? Think we have that kinda attitude we are all mates and hence in it together , whatever :it" may be?? I headed into the city later on and tried to see what the local scene was like. You really have to keep off the main drag, as you will find the only shooting people want is up each others arses. It is extremely morecambe bay in SOBE so you have to look wee a bit deeper to get in the ruff. I came across a bunch of bars in Dade County somewhere, had no idea but I had the satnav to get back to the hotel later. I love playing pool so that was a pretty cool icebreaker. Plus the fact the Yanks play on tables with paint buckets for holes it was easy to make an impression. I never played for money just for banter, and when I say yanks I mean america in general seen as half the clientel in here were still wet from there Lilo cruise starting in Cuba. Got talking to a pretty cool guy called Hernan. He was about 50 but spoke quality english and seemed seedy enough to ask a few questions. Turns out he was in jail for the last 5 years for somethiing or other and was now looking at pulling in a few old debts. I lied like fuck and said I was an ex British Marine from 42 Commando. Got flung out with dishonour during the Abugrab Jail debaucle in Iraq. Just skipped doing time myself due to the fact I had an impecable record until then. Hernan was keen to here about the amount of ragheads I had spudded and left at my tales of war even though I was lying like a one legged dog. "So Bobby, tell me you like to kill people no?" Well Hernan my good man, its like this, I done it for about $40,000 United States Dollars a year roughly speaking when i was a marine. I would be looking at twice that if it was a one off!" Hernan kinda smirked and said "Bobby, you fucking serious man? I am owed money and I owe money. $80,000 dollars you say no?" Fuck sake Hernan, cam your jets big man, lets get the fuck out of here and take this down a notch. I could not beleive I had been in Miami for about 10 hours and I was on my way to a cool $80k, however that was to be easier said than done!! I gave Hernan a bogus point to a car that was not mine and made some story about how good it was to drive, my rental was afely tucked round the corner. We took off in his El Camino which is about as stereotypical as you could get. Anyway he seemed ok so far and for some reason I felt as safe as a pork pie during Ramadan.