1,2,3,4-TV is tripe

There's Nothing on the Television!(c) Maddock 04

There's nothing on the television
Except people in the situations
And nothing better than incisions
Forceps delivery in the hospital drama
Repeats of Judy Dench and Geoffrey Palmer
In the seat I watch with approbation
On probation is an officer from Sun Hill
Station. The other station is reality.
Reality a made up programme about
Pretending to be a reality T.V show
A bit like colour suite crazy Big Bro
Talk crap, texting, voting one off
I vote that this crap goes off
Oh, it's gone off already
Like stale moulding Emmental

Emmerdale Smarm full of crocks
Smug normal nothings can I blow up the box?
About as exciting as 10 pairs of socks
Or another detective series- put in the dock!
Oh, it's another off beat investigator with quirk
Another decaying corpse for detection
I wish the corpse would say 'whodidme'
And save an hour of predictable inspection

The fuzzy dots that make up the picture
Are now digital 0's and 1's all technobabble
but just because the picture is crystal clear
doesn't make it better just more dear
all the favourite T.V personalities we all adore
In more sharp bigger picture O how I abhor
As now their faces are even more in your face
Time for another inspector o get on the case
I'd shut them up in one to stop yet another mystery
And consign TV tripe to ancient history
Wash my hands of soap scum and docu-drama
And repeats of Judy Dench and Geoffrey Palmer

Late night sex toss for old men to toss off to
Late night youth dross for youth to doss to
Presented by women with hyperactivity and flat hair
Really different and unique with a daft bird's beak
Opening and shutting at the rate of 10 million knots
Date me date me programmes and Music Box
There's Nothing on the Television!(c) Maddock 04

Cock. Like 20 pairs of socks. Same shit drivel
Arrest all the programme makers Officer Dibble!
Lock em up in a box and force them to watch
How to change your man into a dado rail in red
Spruce up your milkcartons into wow ornaments
Change your living room into a pit of hell
Oh, that's what's on T.V
You might as well paint your wall
And watch that dry
Better than Match of the Fucking Day
Sport abort. In a hospital drama
The doctors can abort sport.
Some blokeys in Pringle jumpers
Chatting about brats who kick balls
On the other is more sport. Sport is all.
It is the divine highest jewel in T.V's crown
It is what the mass love to glue their eyes on
It is what drives me to get slewed
TV is totally vacuous
TV is tripe
TV is arsewipe