The Case of the Black Crows ( Part 2)

“Yeh right, even you can’t get hold of a …Jesus Christ where did that come from?”

At first she thought he had a sheep on a lead, but as he got closer she realised it was the biggest bird she’d ever seen. He looked at her and grinned.

“As I said before, honeybun, this is my town. You name it I can get it. This is a Wandering Albatross. Stands four feet six off the ground, weighs a mighty twenty eight kilos and has a wingspan of twelve feet. Let’s see the buggers have a go at this big boy.”

He released the Albatross. It flew off into the sky. It just kept going and going in the direction of the Thames. Soon it was out of sight. She looked at him and shook her head.

“Any other bright ideas?”

“Damn it, forgot about HMS Belfast and the local Seaman’s mission. He’s probably gone to see a few of his old mates!”

“So, what we gonna do now then?”

“There’s never been a case that’s beat me yet sugarlips and a few hundred crows sure aint gonna be the first.”

“So?”

“Now we bring out the big guns.”

“What’s bigger than an Albatross?”

“Emu.”

“Emu?”

“Yeh Emu, massive bird. Bigger than me and you. That’ll sort these pesky crows out.”

“But Emu’s can’t fly.”

“Really?”

“Yes, they just run around a lot.”

“But they’ve got wings.”

“THEY CAN’T FLY!”

“Damn. Okay, eagles.”

“Eagles?”

“Yeh, big golden ones, I’ll get a few dozen and see this lot off.”

“A few dozen golden eagles, even you can’t…oh my god where did they come from?”

“I made a phone call.”

The sky above was gold, not from the sunshine but from the glow of thirty Golden eagles hovering above their heads. People were looking up not quite believing what they were seeing. It was like the battle of Britain but with birds not planes. Bluebird looked pleased with himself.

“Told you, let’s see who the billy big boys are now.”

Crows attacked eagles, eagles attacked crows, birds fell from the sky. It was all over in ten minutes. The eagles had won!

They shared a pot of tea together. She felt relieved, he felt elated and horny. They both knew there was only one thing to do in a situation like this. She looked at him with her doe like eyes.

“Shall we get a room?”

“Nah, let’s do it in the alleyway, much cheaper!”

They left the café and headed towards the back alley. Both of them not noticing a single black crow circling overhead!