Clint Eastwood Playing Football

I saw Clint Eastwood yesterday, on Hackney Marshes playing five a side football.

Amazing really, he has to be, what, eighty! But there he was playing in midfield for Stoke Newington veterans.

He looked a lot younger than his eighty years, more like fifty something, his hair was a mixture of grey and black and he had a beard as well, can’t remember seeing him with a beard before.

But it was definitely him.

I stood and watched for ages, then they came off at half time, one of the team called him Roger, I suppose they call him that so as not to draw attention. Can you imagine what would happen if everyone knew Clint Eastwood was in Hackney, there’d be chaos in the streets!

Then something amazing happened, Clint (disguised as Roger), kissed a woman who was on the touchline. It wasn’t his wife, I know this because his wife is American, this lady spoke with a London accent.

I immeadiately realised what was going on, Clint had fallen in love with a London woman, probably while he was over here shooting a film or something, he'd become friendly with one of the ladies neighbours, the captain of the Stoke Newington Veterans, and they'd gone for a few beers once or twice.

Then, one day they were a man short, the captain phones up Clint and asks if he could make the numbers up, Clint agrees and what do you know he turns out to be really good!

Yep that's obviously what happened.

The second half started, Clint was now playing a more forward role, it looked like this suited him better. Within five minutes he scored a great goal, must have been twenty yards, a real screamer, low and into the left bottom corner.

I decided to wander over to the middle aged woman that he had kissed; I stood beside her for a few minutes and summoned up the courage to speak.

“Roger’s playing well, for his age!”

“Ah thank you, do you know Roger?”

I smiled knowingly.

“Everyone knows ROGER!”

She smiled as well and then returned to watch the game.

There it was conclusive proof. Clint Eastwood playing football on Hackney Marshes, amazing!