My Brothers Christmas Girlfriend

My brother's a few years older than me, 55 to be exact.
Divorced three times, bit of a lad, but with marbles still intact.
I wanted him to come for Christmas Lunch, didn't want him to be alone.
Asked the wife, she said yes, although with a snarling silent moan!

Christmas day arrives, the door bell rings, is it rudolph or little prancer?
I open the door and to my suprise there's a 26 year old Latvian Pole Dancer!
Gold hot pants, thigh length boots dressed as though this is the trend
And then reality kicked right in, its my brothers new girlfriend!

He beamed with pride as they walked right in,"This is Tenza" he announced
Her top was just a small string vest, and two things were quite pronounced!
I kissed her lightly on the cheek, my god she was so young
She kissed me on the other cheek and I swear she used her tongue!

We walked into the living room and I introduced her to the throng
My father in law got so excited he started to give a song!
"Dad sit down behave youself or i'll take you back to Grantham!
Mind you, fair play, how did he know the Latvian National Anthem?

I asked her what her proffesion was, avoiding my wifes scary glare
"I am an exotic dancer for a private club in soho square"
"Lovely" was all my mum could say as she choked on a mince pie
I looked over at the father in law concerned that he might die!

I went into the kitchen to get them both some booze
"Straight Vodka for me," was all she said not really hard to choose.
My wife followed me to the room and accused me of being flirty
"There's a half naked woman in my house, its sordid and its dirty"

Don't worry love, we'll have a laugh, they'll eat and then they'll go
But secretly I was well impressed, with my older brother Joe.
She was twenty years younger than him with a figure from my dreams
But soon my admiration filtered out by my wifes new verbal screams.

Tenza was showing the family how she danced and rithed about
Father in law was dribbling now and my mum had just passed out.
We all calmed down, sat down to eat, ready for our munch.
Tenza was sitting next to me, this would be a very HARD Christmas lunch!

I felt a hand upon my leg gently stroking my inner thigh.
I thought to myself, if that's my mum I'll break right down and cry.
But then I noticed Tenzas wink and smile and i realised my fate
As my brother Joe leaned over and whispered, Merry Christmas my old mate!