I don't want a thing from you except me

I know this feeling, Kahdai. So simply written, yet full of emotion. I like this :) Rachel xx

Me too, Kahdai. I had a very strange relationship a number of years ago - the best things to come from it were the endless poems it made me need to write! Some of them are now on here as 'Lessons' - because I learnt so much about so many things during that time, so yes, I can completely empathise with this poem :) If I can offer one suggestion, and please don't feel it is a criticism because it honestly isn't, but for me I think giving a bit more structure might give it more of an effect. I've just read it again and I imagined it something like this : I won't ask another thing of you; all I want from you is Me. Give me back myself and all of my love so that I can let us be. This is just how it sounds in my head when I read it, and also because I'm a slave to rhythm and rhyme sometimes and always try to find this in any poem I read! I know what it's like to write something when you are full of raw emotion, and then to have somebody suggest trying it another way - I get very protective about certain pieces that hold a special meaning to me and feel that by changing them, I'm betraying their original intention, so I completely understand if this is the case with yours, as I know this one comes from an honest place. I just think that from there, it could be made into a longer piece if you wanted to - I really do like the meaning within these lines, Kahdai, and it's because of this reason that I'm thinking into this one quite a lot, so please take it in the positive way it is inteded! I'm now thinking about possibilies for the second and third stanza, it's inspired me so much :) Anyway, I hope some of this may help. I'm no English scholar or anything like that so I don't have the relevant experience to be able to say these things with fact, but as a reader and lover of poetry I just wanted to pass on how it feels to me when I read it. Please let me know if I've been of any use, or scold me if I've been a bother! :) Many thanks, Rachel xx

Phew! :) Thanks Kahdai, glad you don't mind. As soon as I've got the next few stanzas I'll post them for you, I like collaborations ;o). You're very welcome for my time too, it was a pleasure! Rachel xx

Hi Kahdai, Still no internet access at the mo, I'm just using the library's resources at the min so can't upload anything as it's all to my pc, but as soon as I'm back on I will deliver the stanzas I've been working on, really really hope you like them! I'd love to collaborate too; one of the main reasons this site excites me so much is the prospect of potentially working with other writers, so I'm game if you are! Speak to you soon, hopefully :) Rachel xx