Socks off
By Kahdai
Thu, 14 Oct 2010
- 1391 reads
8 comments
Relax, to relax, do I feel safe,
calm, clean and, what to call it
when you feel a, relief and done
everything need, nothing to stay
alert for right, for me means go
to bed, to sleep my hair from my
ears covered, took my socks off.
Now am listening to your breath.
I darent sleep, incase you stop.
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Comments
Nice. The pace of it is a
Nice. The pace of it is a little...distorted, but the imagery nice, and you've done without describing anything physical, its good. :)
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Hi Kahdai, It's nice when
Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Kahdai,
It's nice when you have completed all your tasks for
the day, then relax knowing there is nothing else to
be done, this is how I read your poem. Nice one.
Jenny.
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The last two lines change
The last two lines change the direction completely and wonderfully, Really like this one.
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Love this poem,Kahdai - and
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Love this poem,Kahdai - and I agree with Shoe - those last two lines have a beautiful tenderness to them which finish the poem off beautifully!
Magic xxx
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It is good to see your poems
It is good to see your poems here Kahdai. Keep on writing
;)Pia
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