Socks off

By Kahdai

Thu, 14 Oct 2010
  • 1411 reads
8 comments
 

Relax, to relax, do I feel safe,
calm, clean and, what to call it
when you feel a, relief and done
everything need, nothing to stay
alert for right, for me means go
to bed, to sleep my hair from my
ears covered, took my socks off.

Now am listening to your breath.
I darent sleep, incase you stop.

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by _elle_ on
Nice. The pace of it is a little...distorted, but the imagery nice, and you've done without describing anything physical, its good. :)

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
Thankyou :) its kindof meant to be, the way it jumps to the next line halfway through, is meant to be like me thinking 'have I done everything' K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Kahdai on
I had to change it from 'unless you stop! what a terrible mistake :/

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Kahdai, It's nice when you have completed all your tasks for the day, then relax knowing there is nothing else to be done, this is how I read your poem. Nice one. Jenny.

 

Submitted by shoe on
The last two lines change the direction completely and wonderfully, Really like this one.

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Love this poem,Kahdai - and I agree with Shoe - those last two lines have a beautiful tenderness to them which finish the poem off beautifully! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Highhat on
It is good to see your poems here Kahdai. Keep on writing ;)Pia

Submitted by Kahdai on
Thankyou everyone, it's still a nice ending though dont worry :) K x

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "