The Classroom Diaries - Chapter 5

Observation Proforma:

Lesson 3. (After break) Teacher – B Stevens (BSTE) Class 9A1 - levels ranging from 5 to 8. Observer – ARM (HOD).

Targets from last observation – Behaviour management. Subject knowledge. Last observation 3/4 between requires improvement and unsatisfactory. Recommendation is special measures if no improvement made.

Observation notes:

1100

No teacher present in the observed lesson

1105

Observer has settled the class and asked them to note down five questions they have from last lesson. Class seem confused. Mentions of ‘video’.

1110

BSTE arrives

1115

BSTE finishes coffee and addresses the lesson

1120

BSTE berates student for being late to lesson

1130

BSTE continues lecture on lateness and wasted time to the rest of the class

1135

Student asks what ‘onomatopoeia’ is from starter activity on last lesson. BSTE replies that it is repetition of consonants

1137

BSTE berates student for saying that ‘onomatopoeia’ is words that are spelled as they sound

1145

BSTE continues with lecture on rudeness and how students should listen

1150

BSTE tells students to pack up and ‘Uh, do your homework.’ 11 students reply, ‘What homework?’ Teacher does not clarify.

1155

Students leave before the bell.

 

Armstrong settled down for the fight.

‘Sooooo... How do you think that went then, Miss?’ Stevens fumbled with her laptop for a few seconds before answering.

‘I, uh, not bad actually. We all have bad lessons don’t we? (Not like that we don’t, Armstrong thought.)  I mean, yeah, I was a bit late but I really sorted that little shit out didn’t I?’

Armstrong breathed in, ‘Well...’

‘I mean he was asking for it, wasn’t he? Jumped up little toad. Do you remember his brother? No, of course you wouldn’t. Before your time. Brother was a drug dealer, cousin was a drug dealer, he’s probably already on the streets.’

‘Miss Stevens, to get back to...’ (Jesus, read the Daily Mail much?)

‘I don’t know why I have to teach kids like him. Honestly. He makes me feel intimidated. I’ve spoken to you about this before haven’t I? He needs to be moved. Can you believe that his parents think he’s not making progress? Doesn’t even belong in this set to be honest. I’m going to talk to Sue and see if she’ll take him.’ (Bollocks will you.)

‘Ok well that’s a conversation for another time.’ Time to stamp his authority. If he didn’t she would steamroller him with soggy excuses. ‘Back to the lesson, what went well?’ (Sod all.)

‘Most of it I think,’ she breathed. ‘Got lots done, I mean I didn’t think much of your starter but I worked with it.’

(Smile Armstrong he thought, she loves a sniff of a Union phonecall) ‘Yes well you were late to the lesson, Bev.’

‘It’s this bloody thing about duty now. I’m going to talk to the Union about it.’ (Here we go) ‘I don’t even get the chance to go to the loo never mind get a cup of coffee. And you know my bladder problems.’ (Oh lord, I’m not going near this one.)

‘So did you feel the behaviour was ok?’ (It was awful.)

‘Yeah, they know who’s boss.’ (I’m basically a bully who fills my lesson with lectures because I haven’t planned it.)

‘So you felt they were all engaged and made progress?’ (Stop bullshitting me.)

‘Well yes of course. I mean, (Don’t fucking say that again) it’s a slow process isn’t it? (No.) They need to adapt to my rules. (You don’t have any.) And their targets are so high aren’t they?’

‘They are progressing well across the board.’ (You can’t teach.)

‘Well English is different isn’t it? (No.) It takes much more flair and creativity and these kids just don’t have it. (One of them won a national prize for poetry.)

 

Armstrong was bored already. Her breathy barriers were up. She had dribbled about half way through her list of excuses and he could probably name the next three before she opened her coffee hole; he cut to the chase.

 

‘Ok well I would say the lesson was between a 3 and a 4.’ (It was a 4.)

‘No way, it was a 2. They were all engaged and involved.’ (They listened because it meant they didn’t have to write and one sent you off on a tangent so the others didn’t have to work. It’ll be someone else tomorrow.)

‘It’s going down as a 3.’ (I’m copping out to save the hassle of filling in the paperwork to get you fired becuase you're the best there is at the moment.)

‘I completely disagree. I mean tell me why it wasn’t a two.’ (Would you like a list? Will I write it in crayon?)

‘Over fifty percent of the children were disengaged and I just didn’t feel like they were with you.’ (Nobody did any work and you shouted at a kid because you’re an idiot and don’t know what the word is for when a duck goes ‘Quack’.)

‘Well I still disagree with you.’ (I think I can argue my way higher and another 3 means more observations.)

‘Well I could always re-observe you with a member of SLT to validate my judgement.’

‘........’ (.........) ‘Well maybe a 3 is fair.’ (Fuck you.)

‘Ok then.’ (Fuck you too.)

 

As the classroom door slid shut he knew her next few moves. Straight up the staffroom and bitching about how unfair he was to understanding nods and ooos. ‘He’s got above his station.’ ‘Who does he think he is?’ Armstrong shrugged it off and locked himself in his office, threw his glasses on his laptop and palmed his eyebags. He looked absently (and a little kaleidoscopically) at the tottering piles scattered on his desk. Forgot that, must do that, oh shit should I have marked that already? Was he really any better than her?