The Shell That They Called Home

They hadn't realised how far they had gone; how sick their heart had grown. How fatigued their body had become; yearning to return to home.

 

How does one put to words such a feeling of emptiness; of apathy whole and true, felt only when the space is filled; a comparative negativity, a realisation of something amiss? 

 

A pair of woollen spectacles within a field of mint.

 

So soft they were in construction, 

made with care and time; 

so completely did they obscure the field, 

rend'ring wearer blind. 

Upon their nose she placed them,

soft as spider's silk;

convinced them of sight unobscured,

together a web they built.

From heart and soul they poured,

her wish their pleasured command;

a scented trail followed her,

mint seed scattered the land.

They held their world in their hand,

her heart beat close to theirs;

sprouting seeds all around,

noses yet to care.

 

On one day, the lenses slipped,

the greenery became clear;

with all revealed, a choice to make,

leave that they held dear.

The scenery had changed and so had they,

they wished not to be alone;

returned the glasses to their face,

the spectacles found their home.

Alterations came thick and fast,

changes they had to make;

promises made on both sides,

time they both would take.

Soon forgotten was the field of green, 

and that which lay beyond;

for in their hand, they held their world,

naught mattered but their bond.

 

Time it passed, days and months,

ignoring their itching eyes;

sleepless nights fed longer days,

their love filled their mind.

Till one day, a voice they heard,

no threat at all it posed;

a simple request, one so easy,

to stop and smell the roses.

 

They knelt down, all alone, and took a moment to smell. Sharp and cool and familiar, a scent that they knew well. It had followed her since their slip, maybe even some time before. It made them wonder if they were right, to follow her at all. Their talk was long yet short, words exchanged at volume; the tears she cried, unreciprocated, the glasses held theirs tight. In their parting, at their face she tore, removing them from their nose; the light, it burnt their once shielded eyes, it took a moment to adjust. Stood alone, in that field of green, they looked down at the mess she left; at their feet, now they saw, their reason for sight bereft.

 

A pair of woollen spectacles within a field of mint.

 

They stood alone with naught around, just them the mint and sun; a natural urge took them forward, to return to where they begun. Along the way, on the ground, shattered underfoot; panes of glass they had smashed with her, unknowingly they'd been cut. For the first time since they'd met, her touch had left them pained; reflected within the shards below, the person they once were. Remained behind, a reminder, of all they had once been; a memory of the days long past, before they met her. Their queen reigned high in their life, her influence hard to shake; she filled their mind as they soldiered on, a difficult habit to break.

 

Time and distance separated them as they slowly became themselves. With help from the friends they made before, they remembered who they were. At first they faltered and failed and cried, they felt like a deer on ice; struggled balance returned eventually as they settled back to life.

 

How does one put to words such a feeling of emptiness; of apathy whole and true, felt only when the space is filled; a comparative negativity, a realisation of something amiss?    

 

They hadn't realised how far they had gone; how sick their heart had grown. How fatigued their body had become; yearning to return to home.