Nothing
By Lou Blodgett
- 142 reads
Did you just wake up with a mild sense of well-being? No jitters or queasiness? Then, why not try Nothing.
Nothing is a vacuous quantity lacking temporality, all in an easy-to-swallow yellow pill. Nothing is non habit-forming. Nothing may be indicated if you find yourself humming ‘Top Of The World’, or have an itch on your ear that is taken care of with an easy flick. Or if you notice a catch in your hip that goes away during normal morning activities, or when you jiggle your leg out a bit like you’ve seen your cat do.
Ever notice a lilt in your step while strolling through an implausibly clean, bright street market? Or that you can’t help but smile while enjoying a picnic in the park with all of your similarly self-realized friends? Ask your doctor if Nothing is right for you.
Tell your doctor if you experience sniffles, or scratchy eyes. They may give you something. Tell your doctor that you won second prize in the office talent show with an armpit medley from ‘West Side Story’. Or, how ‘bout this: If they need to ‘loosen up a bit’, tell your doctor that you have a little centipede friend in your glasses case who knows the horses. Or you could simply behave. They work hard enough as it is.
Nothing may cause cranial knots, aphasia, blurred or double vision, giggles, yips, or a belief that you are Admiral Stinson, but no more than in a sample of those taking the generic option, something else, or Nothing too.
Don’t suddenly stop taking Nothing. It’s theoretically impossible. If you are currently on statins, Nothing would also be fine. Don’t sniff magic markers, or you’ll never pass your Calculus final. When taking acetaminophen, diphenhydramine and phenylephrine, ask yourself how you got this way. Here’s something: Nothing may interact with kleptocycline, but that stuff’s tricky.
If you cannot afford your medication, Luna Zarica may be able to help by sending you a brochure of heart-healthy recipes in the mail.
Grasp Life- With Nothing.
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