Jesus is Coming Late 2 - Can You Kill the Maitreya?

Chapter 5 The 144,000

Malcolm answered a knock on the door. There were two smartly dressed men in suits.
“Hello. I’m one of the 144,000,” said one.
“Are you a Jehovah’s Witness?”
“I used to be.”
“And I used to be a Hindu,” said the other.
“How come you’re all working together?”
“God accepts those who are sincere,” said the former JW.
“You can be sincerely right, or you can be sincerely wrong.”
“God doesn’t care whether you’re right or wrong,” said the former Hindu, “he just wants you to
be sincerely sincere.”
“Sincere about what?”
“Sincere about God, in whatever way you understand him,” said the former JW.
“Like the Church of England?”
“Yes,” said the former Hindu. “It’s our job to bring Christianity to the whole world.”
“It’s a bit late for that,” said Malcolm. “I’ve got this book from Operation Mobilisation.
World Evangelism’s happened already.  The lost continents have been and gone, mate.”
“I suppose we’re wasting our time,” said the former Hindu.
“Don’t worry.  Full time Christian workers have always been a waste of money, and
superfluous to requirements.”
“That makes us feel much better,” said the former JW.
“What’s the best way to get some money to fill up our private jet?” asked the Hindu.
“Start a satellite TV station and spend lots of time asking for money.”
“OK,” said the former JW.  “Will do.”

Maitreya appeared on the television news.  “I am going to build a huge temple in Jerusalem,
bigger than anything that anyone has built there before.  This temple will consist of a huge
Catholic cathedral, a huge mosque and a Jewish altar in the middle.  Sacrifices will be
offered on the altar, the same way as they were in the Jewish Scriptures.”  The program
returned to the studio.  The newsreader continued,
“Another thing that United Nations Secretary and World President Maitreya has introduced is
that you can have your national insurance number tattooed on the back of your hand.  This is
not compulsory, but is just in case you forget it.  Ibrahim is one of the 144,000.  Hello
Ibrahim.”  Ibrahim appeared on the big screen in the studio.
“Hello.”
“Who exactly are the 144,000?”
“We’re a group of evangelists who are preaching the gospel to the whole world.”
“Hasn’t it been preached to them already?”
“Not the kind of gospel we’re preaching.  We want peace and reconciliation all over the world.”
“What do you think of Maitreya?”
“There is nothing wrong with people taking the mark as long as they are sincere.  God
doesn’t care if you’re sincerely right or sincerely wrong, he just wants you to be sincerely
sincere.”

Three and a half years later the Maitreya stood on the stage in the middle of the temple.  
Some priests were leading a cow to the big Jewish altar.  He spoke into the microphone.
“Today, all sacrifices will cease.”  The priests with the cow stopped moving, and looked at
Maitreya.  “From today, everyone will worship me.”  There were people queuing in the
temple.  Maitreya looked at them.  “If you need the mark on your hand, you need to bow
down and worship me in front of this stage and say, ‘I give my life to Maitreya, worship him,
love him dearly, and will betray his enemies to be killed.’  Several hundred of you can say
this at the same time, so it shouldn’t take all day.”  The words appeared on a big screen.  
“As you worship me, I will heal you of cancer, I will heal you of radiation sickness.  Only the
tattoo machine in the temple can give you a tattoo with a genuine 3D watermark.  You can’t
do anything without this number.  You can’t register with a doctor, claim benefits or get a job
without it.  And from today, when you do any of those things, they’re not going to ask you to
remember your national insurance number, they’re going to look at the back of your hand for
a tattoo with a genuine 3D watermark.  From today, this is compulsory.”
Zion Ben Nutcase Here

Early eschatologists had a problem.  They passionately believed that Jesus would come
again in their lifetime.  Jesus said, “This gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the
world, and then the end will come.”  When John Nelson Darby lived in the 1850s, and Vernon
McGee was a radio preacher in the 1980s, this obviously hadn’t happened.  So they found a
solution.  The book of Revelation describes a vision of 12,000 people from each of the 12
tribes of Israel, 144,000 people altogether, worshipping God.  (Revelation 7.)  In the minds of
these preachers, these became 12 huge tribes of missionaries that would go out after the
rapture to evangelise more people than ever before.  

If Jesus tarries (to use the technical term) for another 30 years, the entire world will be
listening to the Bible in their own language on touch screen mobile phones which cost £1,
and have free airtime which is paid for by subscription channels like Sky Sports and Sky
Movies unlimited film downloads, which are both £5 a month.  So, even the African peasant
in the fields will enjoy Christian programmes for free.  The Kindle already exists.  A computer
that looks like a paperback book, and is no bigger than a book.  The real test will be when
the Kindle becomes cheaper than a paperback book.  Then the reign of the paperback book
is well and truly over.  And a mobile phone, with a little screen, and a computerised voice
that reads out the text, costs a lot less.  No electricity?  Just put a solar panel on the roof.  
Attach it to a rechargeable battery, it’ll charge up the battery during the day and charge the
phone if you plug it in to the circuit at night.  Such a trivial solar system for charging the
mobile would cost less than £20, and give you a nightlight and TV as well.  Not to mention
the missionaries of the 2040s, armed with their little memory sticks containing a huge variety
of films dramatising the whole Bible, and a roll up screen that requires no projector because
the TV is built into it and you simply point the memory stick at it to upload the film.

Such a world is already developing.  More people have become Christians in the Muslim
world in the last 20 years than ever before, often through electronic media.  Missionaries
have evangelised every country in the world, and even in countries like Somalia, officially
having few Christians, there are enough believers to produce frequent stories of martyrdom.  
In the next thirty years they will translate the New Testament into all the languages that need
one.  This would mean penetrating every tribe and language group.  So, if Jesus returns any
time after 2041, 144,000 evangelists in the great tribulation would not be necessary.

These people are not evangelists that set out to evangelise the whole world.  That is simply
an example of theological car parking – trying to get yourself out of an awkward position that
your watertight theology has backed itself into.
Chapter 6   To Kill the Maitreya

Raymond sat with Pastor Bole, Tony and Carol at their Bible study group.
“I’m going to kill the Maitreya,” said Ray.
“Is he really so terrible?” asked Pastor Bole, looking at the national insurance number with the
3D watermark on the back of his hand.
“He is terrible,” said Ray, “think of the number of Christians who are being murdered every
day.”
“If you kill Maitreya, somebody will kill you,” said Tony.
“I’m an old man.  I’ve lived a long time.  I don’t mind losing the few years I have left.”
“How are you going to do it?” asked Carol.
“I’ll pretend that I’m saying the prayer to him and receiving the tattoo.  Then, I pull out the gun
and shoot him.  I just have to get a bullet through his heart before they kill me.”

Ray had no difficulty booking a flight to the temple in Israel.  There was a chartered flight
every half hour.  If you went at 6 o’ clock in the morning it only cost £25.  There was also a
bus that ran straight to the East Midlands airport, 24 hours a day.  He joined the long queue
outside the temple.  It took hours to get inside.  Ray was bursting for the toilet.  Eventually,
he was able to join the hundreds of people kneeling before Maitreya, who was on the stage.
He tried to get as close to Maitreya as possible, looking at the words on the big screen,
appearing to be in prayer.  Then he pulled out the gun.  He shot Maitreya straight through the
heart.  Maitreya fell off his throne, and hit the ground with a thud.  Then Raymond was torn
apart by a hail of bullets that came from all directions.  A paramedic from the Red Crescent
resuscitated the Maitreya.  He performed cardiac compressions and sang,
“Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus, off she went with a
trumpety trump, trump, trump.”  He then gave the Maitreya mouth to mouth, 2 ventilations after
the final trump.  The paramedic began the song again, each time giving the Maitreya 2
ventilations after the final trump.  Another paramedic had a defibrillator.  A 3D hologram
appeared beside the defibrillator, explaining how it worked.
“Take the electrodes, and put them on the patient’s chest,” said the hologram.  “Attach the
white to the right, and the red to Hell.”  The hologram pointed.  The paramedic attached the
electrodes.  “Analysing.  The patient has an apparent systole.  His heart has stopped
completely, and he cannot be resuscitated.  I declare the patient to be clinically dead.  You
may stop giving cardiac pulmonary resuscitation.”  At that moment the Maitreya coughed.  
One of the paramedics looked shocked, and cried out in fear.  The other laughed and said,
“I told you that cheap defibrillator wasn’t very good.”  Maitreya sat up.
“Thank you for saving me.  I feel fine.”
“You need an X ray,” said one of the paramedics.  “I want to know where that bullet is.”  He
picked up a small, handheld device that looked like a calculator.  He pointed it at the
Maitreya’s chest, and then showed him the picture that had appeared on the screen on the
back.  “Maitreya, your heart has a huge hole in it like a ring doughnut, and it isn’t even
beating.  I don’t know how you’re alive.”
“Have faith,” said Maitreya.  “Don’t you believe in miracles?”  The truth is that the Maitreya was
dead but his body was being possessed by a demon.  He was a zombie.