Daddy Monkey and the Snowy Night

In the middle of the night Daddy Monkey woke up. He could tell there was something strange happening. Daddy, Mummy, Olivermonkey and Rosie Bear were all snoring. His emergency banana was still by the side of the bed. He had to have a look around.

He jumped out of bed and nearly shouted “Bottoms!” because he’d put his foot in his early-morning-waking-people-up trumpet. He rubbed his foot better and ate his emergency banana.

Emma was snoring too, in a big pile of books and toys. Everyone was still asleep – maybe whatever it was was outside. He peeped out under the curtains. And his eyes went “ping!” into snowflakes. It was snowing very heavily.

“It must be Christmas Eve,” said Daddy Monkey to himself. “I’d better get back before Father Christmas gets here!”

He immediately packed a bag with bananas, put on his woolly hat and giant monkey wellies that covered his whole tum, and climbed out through the letterbox. Whoosh! He went into the snow so deep only his eyes were poking out.

“Ah, look at that cute little monkey,” said a cat who was crossing the front garden.

“I’M NOT A CUTE LITT- argle blarg blarg,” said Daddy Money, because his mouth got filled with snow. The cat patted him gently on the head and wandered off. Daddy Monkey had to stretch out hi long arms all the way up to the top of the door, pull, and - pop! out of the snow he came, except for a small crust on his fur.

“Hmm,” he said to himself as he sat on the top of the letterbox. “I need some skis”.

He ate a banana, then jumped back inside, ran to the kitchen, got two spoons out of the drawer, and taped them to his feet using Emma’s special Making Tape. “Pock-pock-pock,” went his feet across the floor, and he went back out through the letterbox.

This time, wheee! he slid across the snow. “This is better than banana skins!” thought Daddy Monkey as he whizzed along.

“Look at that cute little monkey,” said a man in a car going along the road. “He’s skiing and eating a banana at the same time!”

“I’M NOT A CUTE LITT – waaaaaaaaaaaah!” shouted Daddy Monkey as the tape on his spoonskis came off and he went flumf! into the snow. Only his eyes were poking out again.

Daddy Monkey was quite cold now, and he looked up and down the road, wondering if he could hear Father Christmas landing on one of the snow-covered roofs, or reindeer hoofs on one of the white-topped cars. But it wasn’t Father Christmas. It was Uncle Snail wearing a winter snail hat on top of his shell.

“Hello little monkey,” said Uncle Snail. “Why are you having a bath in the snow?”

“I’m not having a bath,” said Daddy Monkey.

“It looks like a bath,” said Uncle Snail.

Daddy Monkey tried very hard not to shout “BOTTOMS!” Then he had an idea. “Could you pass me one of those spoons?”

“Why?” asked Uncle Snail.

“Because I need it to wash with!” said Daddy Monkey.

“All right then,” said Uncle Snail.

Daddy Monkey waited for AGES until Uncle Snail came back. “Thank you!” said Daddy Monkey, and instead of starting to wash, he started to dig, throwing the snow high up into the air with his long arms.

“Why?” asked Uncle Snail, just as a spoonful of snow landed right on top of him. “What a funny monkey,” said the silly mollusc from under the shivery stuff.

Daddy Monkey dug and dug, and when his arms got tired he dug using his tail. It was a very starry evening, and with the snow it was lovely and quiet. It was so quiet Daddy Monkey thought he ought to sing.

“Lalalalalalalalalala!” he sang all the way down Southend Road. “Loolooloolooloolooloo!” he sang down Sparrow Crescent and across Pool Bridge Road. “Umtumtumtumtumtumtumtum!” he sang as he crossed the first part of the river. His singing was so loud and so unmusical that it woke up everybody who lived nearby, and all the cats and dogs and birds too. Eventually some robins came fluttering down to see him.

“Please stop singing,” they said. “We can’t sleep!” And they put their wings over their ears.

“Oh,” said Daddy Monkey. “I’ll just whistle then.”

He tried a whistle, but the robins said “Er, no thanks. No singing or whistling please.”

“Oh all right,” said Daddy Monkey grumpily. He whispered “Bottoms!” too, but the biggest robin hopped onto one of his ears and told him off.

So Daddy Monkey had to dig all the way to Berry Meadows very, very quietly. When he got there he could see where he needed to go for the first time: The Lady’s House!

He started to dig faster, but it was a long way, and under the snow it was very muddy. He wasn’t sure whether he’d be a snow monkey or a mud monkey! When he was halfway across he was a snow monkey from his tummy button up to the tops of his ears, and a mud monkey from his tummy button to the tip of his tail.

Every so often, he stopped and looked out over the top of the snow, to make sure he was going the right way. Suddenly, in the snow near to him he saw a footprint. It was big, and on the end of the toes he could see that there were clawmarks. “Eek!” said Daddy Monkey, and dug even faster. When he stopped and looked out next time he listened very, very hard. But when it snows all the sound seems to disappear, so he couldn’t hear anything except his tum, which went “Rumblerumblerumble!”

He quickly ate two bananas, and put the banana skins out onto the snow. He looked and looked, but all he saw was the orange sky, where the snow reflected the streetlights – and another footprint!

Daddy Monkey wondered if he was going to be eaten. He dug so fast his arms became blurry. Then he heard a funny noise. “Eek!” he said again. Very, very carefully, he poked one eye out over the top of the snow. Whoosh! A really big dog whizzed past going “Waaaaagh!” It had stepped on one of the banana skins. Daddy Monkey watched, and his grin became the cheekiest it had been all week. Then he started digging again.

He dug and dug and dug until he was right down at the end of Berry Meadows, with the Lady’s House just a little way down the river. He put the spoon down and climbed up onto the path.

“Hello, cute little monkey,” said a big growly voice. It was the big dog who’d been following him, and then sliding around on a banana skin. “I think I’d like to see how tasty a cute little monkey can be,” he added, showing big T. rex-like teeth.

“I’M NOT A CUTE LITTLE MONKEY!!!” Daddy Monkey shouted, so loudly that the dog was rolled backwards all the way across the Meadow. He became an enormous snowball, with just four doggy feet poking out of the bottom. The snowball ran up and down and up and down, and Daddy Monkey said “Bottoms to you!” and ran off down the river to the Lady’s House.

Using his long arms and monkey feet, he climbed to the upstairs window and knocked on the glass with the spoon. Nothing happened. He knocked again, louder this time. He wished he’d brought his trumpet. But eventually a light came on inside, and a face appeared at the window. It was the Lady who owned the Lady’s House. She looked very cross to be woken up in the middle of the night. Daddy Monkey put on his cheekiest grin.

“Oh, it’s you, is it?” the Lady said sleepily.

“It’s time!” said Daddy Monkey.

“Oh all right. Wait by the front door,” she said.

Daddy Monkey quickly climbed down and waited. After a few minutes the door opened and the Lady gave him a large parcel, even bigger than he was! The Lady was about the close the door, when Daddy Monkey said “Er…”

“Er what?” said the Lady.

“Er… I need to get home very quickly,” said Daddy Monkey, and put on his super super cheekiest grin. “Can you carry me?”

The Lady looked very, very cross. But she said “Oh all right. It’s only because you’re such a cute little monkey.”

“I’M NOT A CUTE LITT-” Daddy Monkey started, before he realised that he had to be a cute little monkey if he was going to get home before Father Christmas arrived.

The Lady went inside and put on her wellies, coat, hat and gloves. Then she put Daddy Monkey under one arm and the package under the other. She went over to the river and got into one of the boats. It wasn’t very easy for the Lady to row with a monkey under one arm and a parcel under the other, but soon they were up at Pool Bridge. The Lady tied the boat to the bank, then swapped her wellies for running shoes, and ran all the way up Sparrow Crescent and Southend Road to Daddy Monkey’s house.

“Thank you!” said Daddy Monkey, and pushed the parcel through the letterbox. Then he jumped through too, leaving the Lady out in the snow with just a spoon lying on the ground.

“Humph!” said the Lady, and went home.

Inside, Daddy Monkey unwrapped the parcel. There were lots of presents in it. He thought about waiting for Father Christmas, but then he saw a little bit of light in the sky and realised it was nearly morning. So he ran upstairs and put a present next to everyone. Then he reached under Mummy and Daddy’s bed and got out his trumpet.

“Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!” went the trumpet.

Everyone woke up, and found presents right on their noses!

“Happy Christmas!” shouted Daddy Monkey.

“But it’s not Christmas,” said Mummy.

“Yes it is,” said Daddy Monkey.

“Christmas was last week,” said Daddy.

“But it’s snowy, so it must be Christmas,” said Daddy Monkey.

“Silly old Daddy Monkey,” said Emma. “Snow doesn’t mean Christmas.”

Daddy Monkey felt sad that it wasn’t Christmas. But everyone opened their presents. Daddy got banana beer. Mummy got a banana brush, for tidying. Emma got a T. rex made out of bananas. Olivermonkey got a banana recipe book. Rosie Bear got a banana and cherry cake. Orange Dinosaur got a cheese in the shape of a banana. Blue Dinosaur got a banana in the shape of an orange. All the animals got special banana presents.

“Even if it isn’t Christmas, these are lovely presents!” said Mummy.

“What a good Daddy Monkey,” said Emma, and gave him a hug.

Then everyone gave him a hug, and he was squashed into a super hug shape.

“Thank you!” everyone said, and Olivermonkey rushed into the kitchen to make a huge banana feast, at which Daddy Monkey was the special guest. He was even allowed to say “BOTTOMS!”