ENVY.

Today I went with someone to the hospital, it was the accident and emergency. If I thought it was going to end up been 3 hours, I would have done myself a small flask, to help past the time.

He wasn’t an emergency, he was seen by the ambulance crew on Saturday, and they took him to hospital, after they patched him up and given him antibiotics they said, “We need to see you here again on Monday.”

We expected to be in and out quickly! The waiting room was full! I half wished I had worn a few masks. As I sat there, considering it was the accident and emergency, some people just did look poorly enough to be there. I love people watching. There was a lady, on the phone, laughing, giggling, and talking non-stop on her phone. She didn’t look sick, I wondered why he was there. Two ladies sat next to me on my right, I wondered out of both of them which one was sick, then the one next to me, her phone rang, and she spoke loudly, “I am with my new girl-friend, my old girl-friend will not let me see the children, my new girl-friend is not very well, that is why we are here.” In front of us there was someone with a sick bowl on the floor, thankfully it was empty. A man had his head bandaged neatly, with splatted blood all down the front of his chest. Another man was holding his nose tightly, so he had a nose bleed. When the two girl friends left a man and woman came and sat next to me, his wife went to get a wheelchair for him but came back and said, “I have never known a hospital where you can’t get a wheelchair!” Another lady showed pain not just in her face, but she held her chest as she walked slowly about, I did feel for her, it seemed like they were not taking her seriously, I thought if she falls over and die, she could prove them right, that she was very ill and in a lot of pain. Some couples wore masks, and some hospital staff too. Majority of the people there, like me were on their mobile phones. I caught up on the games and Italian that I had fallen behind in. With the Italian, it can be put in silent mode, which is good. It was good too that I had signal, for other parts of the hospital when I have been with others in the past, did not have any signal at all, so that would be proper boring!

There was a Mum with her elderly Mum who had a walker, the Mum also had her son with her, so that was three generations.

I didn’t see the grandson leave, the waiting room, he was age about 19. While he was away, his Nan and Mum were called to see the nurse. He asked at the reception, “Has Mrs Lewis been called in?” He was informed, “Yes.” I thought he would go in, to join them, but he didn’t, now he went and sat in a different seat, as the seat he was sat at had now been taken.

Where he sat now, I could see his face and he could see mine. He had in his hand a small bottle of Pepsi and a bag of ready salted crisps.

He opened the pack of crisps, and started to eat them, oh, they looked lovely as he took one out, one at a lovely time, and ate them! I could almost taste them; they looked SO crispy and delicious! Boy did I envy him, eating those lovely crisps without thought of calories! I tried not to stare, I tried to look away, but as he ate each delicious crisp, I could almost smell them and taste their crispness! He saw me looking at him, I watched again, as he put another one into his mouth, I thought, what on earth must he be thinking! But if he were to try and guess, he would not believe it, that I was not looking at him, but his crisp! I really wanted some, I thought, should I buy a bag? Would one bag be my downfall? Would I be able to stick to just one? My diet, my way, with no guilt attached, would surely allow me to buy one, I know I am entitled to a treat, but those crisps looked too intense. Everything about those crisps was perfect!

Thankfully, I was able to tare my gaze away, and look elsewhere! With that, the feeling past, and I was OK, temptation past and went, so that by the time we left the hospital, I had not given those crisps a second thought.

I weighed myself, and for the first time since I started my diet, I have lost a pound under the Stone that I lost at first, so that was very good.

SO, I have lost a pound and a stone! Last night at home, I fancied buttered toast, before I went to bed, I knew I should have had a banana, but I didn’t want that, so I put the two slices of bread under the grill and with my goat’s butter, which is not for the rest of the family, they have the shop brand butter, I enjoyed putting it on my toast. I put them on my favourite TKMaxx plate, cut them in half, and sat down and enjoyed eating them slowly.

Looking forward to losing another pound, there is no rush, no deadline, just a pound at a time, that will do me. x