What Would Happen If I treated My Cats Like Dogs & My Dogs Like Cats?

What would happen IF I treated my cats like dogs and my dogs like cats?

I have six cats and two dogs. What would happen if from today 01.10.22A.D. if I treated the cats like dogs and the dogs like cats?

I would have to change their names. There would be a problem there straight away, for I would slip and still call Nanny, Nanny, Mini G, Mini G, Hotel, Hotel, Jonathan, Jonathan, Clearance, Clarence, and Turmeric, Turmeric.

Everything else would stay the same. The two dogs that usually would be in a cage each now three cats would be in one and three would be in the other. I have four cat letters, two are behind the telly, both dogs would struggle to get behind there without knocking over the telly!

One dog is twelve stone the other is ten stone. None of our cats are that size, if they were, they would be in the Guinness Book of Records. The cats would fight in the cages, especially if I put Hotel and Jonathan in the same cage, so I wouldn’t do that.

Our cats have their favourite spot where they love to sleep. One loves to sleep on the coffee table, one loves to sleep on the sofa, other loves to sleep on top of the dog cage and another on the window sill, one loves to go into the cat hole of the combined scratching post, and depending who is sitting down, on our laps.

I feed the cats every morning, and after they have eaten, I put them all outside. I use two tins of cat food for the six of them and on the top of each dish of cat food is a treat that I usually saved from my meal from the night before, then after they have eaten, I love to give the dogs a treat, this usually is also from last night’s meal, roast potatoes and home-made onion gravy.

After the cats go outside, then I love to treat the dogs, if there isn’t a treat for them, then I have as a standby dog biscuit.

Can you imagine the shock of the person walking by my home when put a ten stone dog and a twelve stone dog out the front door? One would be friendly and the other one wouldn’t.

It would be very strange to take our six cats out for their twice daily walks, putting their harness and leads on, three cats in my left hand and three in the other! Making sure Hotel and Jonathan isn’t in the same hand. Nanny would want to go back, Clarence would want to go forward, Mini Grey, would want to go back inside the house, and Turmeric well he would not understand, as he likes the quietness of the back garden, it’s tranquil there.

There is a tiny unit, it has four little shelves inside it, it is pine, it is Turmeric’s favourite place to sleep, a dog couldn’t even get up there, without knocking it over. If the dog sat on the coffee table someone would not be able to see the telly.

The other two cat litters, one is in a small space that is only as wide as the cat litter and the other one is underneath the sofa. None of the cat litters would be accessible to the dogs. With only two tins of cat food between them in the mornings and two tins in the evenings, they would be very hungry. The cats would be frantic if they had to wait until Paul fed them their breakfast as noon! Their meows would know no bounds! On a flip side, their food would be fantastic, they would all have a feast, as it’s pigs’ heads, as they are used to it, for they are used to the best parts of it.

It would be tricky picking up cat poo on our twice daily walks, but maybe not, for I couldn’t see any of them doing it, while still on a lead, so I would save money there as I wouldn’t need to buy any poo bags.

It would be difficult having the dogs on my lap, both of them, sometimes when I finish work and I am dog tired, excuse the pun, when I wake up there are two cats asleep on my lap, I would definitely notice if one dog sneaked onto my lap and the second dog wouldn’t have a cat in hell chance, again excuse the pun!

So, having given it some thought, I am very pleased that our cats will stay cats for life and our dogs will stay dogs for life, so don’t tell them I wrote this, as they might be occasionally, be looking over their shoulders in case I change my mind and try to act upon it, and treat my cats like dogs and my dogs like cats!