They couldn't stop tickling each other

They went to restaurants because they hated doing the washing up and they always followed one rule: they were not allowed to order for themselves. At first they would simply pick for each other from the menu. When the novelty of this wore off, they would ask strangers what they recommended. On one occasion, another couple invited them to join their table. They all ordered for each other and still go bowling together at weekends.

They had one favourite restaurant, where the waitresses knew not to even give them the menu. In the kitchen, the chef would be told of their arrival, and he would prepare secret, special dishes. They told him to create whatever he wanted, neither had peanut allergies and both quite liked seafood.

Soon the restaurant got rid of the menus completely, every guest followed the same rule, the chef decided the dish they would eat. Every single plate was returned to the kitchen empty.

The couple do not miss their friends. They prefer to stay at home reading biographies of 80s footballers to each other. The cleaner comes round on Tuesdays. They have hammocks in their garden. They have a four poster bed. Once they had a pillow fight, and feathers fluttered over the bed like rose petals. When they ran the bath, champagne came from the taps, despite being connected only to a water tank. The plumber was baffled.