Christmas On A Rope

Short Play
Christmas On A Rope

By Paul McCann

The setting is around the early 1920’s in Belfast , the capital City of Northern Ireland . Set on stage is a simple scene . It should assume to look like a homeless shelter or refuge . A rope is strung from one side of the set to the other . Furniture consists of a desk by the front door of the shelter , on the desk is a cash box chained to a bracket on the wall and a small lamp fuelled by kerosene .

Cast

Danny – Staff member who runs the night duty at the shelter

Sister Pascal – Head of the Poor Clare monastery

Eugene - Long Time resident of the Penny Rope

Crazy – A well know identity and trouble maker

Mags – High society lady who fell to the grips of alcohol

Tapper Tucker -Beggar man of the city

Sly Sammy – Local mouth and carrier of scandal

Nervous Noel – Mental patient alienated from community life

Sally- Runaway : Gypsy girl

Mad Mick – Ex prisioner who can’t fit into the community

Mary - Mysterious lady from the street

Joe – Marys husband and Street Wanderer

Danny sits behind the desk reading a book . Opening a drawer he takes out ledger book and does a few figures before looking at the time from a fob watch in pocket . He pulls a set of keys from his other pocket and goes to the door and opens it up . Two men stumble into the room from outside .
One dressed in dungarees and a donkey jacket and the other has an old overcoat with a cap on his head and no shoes on his feet . Both men wait at the desk for Danny to sit down . The man in dungarees is spoken to first .

Dialogue

Danny : “Eugene my man . How’s life treating you these days ?”

Eugene : “It’s a wonderful life Danny boy ..no complaints , here’s my penny for the rope “.

( Danny takes the penny , Eugene takes his place on the rope throwing both arms over it ) .

Danny’: “ Hows Crazy tonight then ? “

Crazy : “What the hell do you care , if its twelve below outside and I have no shoes on my feet .”

Danny : Where’s your penny Crazy .“

Crazy : I’ll pay you tomorrow , all right ?”

Danny : No its not all right . You know the rules . No penny , No rope .”

(Crazy gets a bit angry he walks over to Danny standing face to face with him and he repeats ) ‘

Crazy : “ I said . I’ll pay you tomorrow. “

Danny : No Crazy , you still owe sixpence from all the other nights and all the other tomorrows and all the other yesterdays .So if you don’t have the penny, I’ll have to ask you to leave the shelter .”

(Crazy pulls a brown paper bag from his overcoat pocket and then he pulls the cork from the top of the bottle , then puts it to his mouth and takes a swig )

Crazy : “ Its Christmas Eve , you mean you’d put me out on the street with no shoes on my feet and no where for me but some shopfront on the corner somewhere , with the wind blowing in and the rain .”

Danny : “You should have thought about that .“
Crazy : “ Danny Danny come on you know me . You know me well . I’m just a rough old diamond . “

Danny : “Well you might be a rough old diamond but you know very well ,you’re not shinning too good these days and you know what , you shouldn’t be drinking here in the shelter . Christmas or not , out you go Crazy before I call the cops and the peelers will walk you out . If you don’t listen to me you’ll listen to them and you know they’re not too fond of you Crazy . So leave right now please . “

Crazy : “You better watch your back on the street , for I’ll not be far behind you . ( Crazy throws his fist at Danny who ducks well before it got anywhere near him . Danny puts his arm around Crazy’s neck and the other wrist he twists Crazy’s arm half way up his back and marches him quickly to the door and gives him a swift kick on the backside )

Danny : “Next time you throw a punch you better be sober for I’ll knock every last bit of sense out of your head . Do you get it . Good night Crazy .“
(Danny slams the door) We don’t need the likes of him around here . Its hard enough around here theses days as it is .”

(Two more people come through the door . Sally the Gypsy who is carrying a tray with shoe laces and thread bobbins on it .She also has a dozen or more flowers in tied up bunches in a little bucket . The other person is Sly Sammy who is wearing thick black rimmed glasses over bloodshot eyes and a nose that has been permanently broken . He has a cap on his baldy head and a pair of trousers with holes and stains all over them . His jacket has seen better days . Sally the Gypsy girl heads for Danny immediately .)

Sally : “ A bunch of flowers for your wife or maybe a pair of shoelaces for the man on the rope . What about you . (Looking at Sly Sammy) Maybe a few bits of thread to mend your trousers .”

Danny : “Be off with you . We don’t need anything around here and we don’t want the likes of you here .”

Sally : “ You’d send me away empty handed , back to the seven children who haven’t seen white meat for over seven Christmases and my poor Mother who has not been up and about for ten tears . I’ll tell you what now , you’ll be thinking of me when you’re tucked up in your warm bed tonight with a full stomach of food in your belly . It’s a sad day indeed “ .

(Sly Sammy makes an approach)

Sly Sammy : “ Ah come off it Sally , you ran away with the travelling people six year ago . You never knew your proper Mother and you’ve as many children as you have stories and they’re all as old as the shoelaces in that there tray .”

Sally : “What would you know , sure you’re nothing to me . As a matter of fact you’re in for quite a shock , I hear tell that tongue of yours is ready for being cut out and fed to the stray dogs down in the dockyards .“

Sly Sammy : “ Tell me Gypsy woman , who is going to do it . For there’s not a person alive in this city who would have the nerve to silence me .“

Sally : “I’ll tell you . Its myself Sly Sammy and if you don’t stop me quick . (She pulls out a silver cut throat razor from her boot . Danny threw himself between the two )

Danny : “I think you better take yourselves some where else before someone gets hurt and its not going to be me “

Sally : “I’m doing no harm , sure you know I’d be doing the city a favour by cutting out that gutter snipes throat . He caused more than enough trouble as far as I’m concerned . The wee weasel .“

Danny : “That’s enough Sally . On your way now and have a pleasant Christmas “

(Sally makes her way slowly to the door . Sly Sammy whistles a little tune after her Sally turns quickly and throws her razor that grazes his cheek . Sally runs and makes her exit )

Sly Sammy : “ You’re all a witness to that . Attempted murder is what that was and I want the police here right now .

Eugene : “I wouldn’t do that if I were you .”

Sly Sammy : “Why not , I’ve got the law on my side and you’re both my eye witnesses to the fact .”

Eugene : “I saw nothing . Did you Danny ?”

Danny : “What are you talking about , Its been as quiet as a church here all night “

Sly Sammy : “ So I see how it is , You’re both getting back at me for that time I took the cash box , isn’t it ?”

Eugene : “It’s nothing to do with the money at all . It’s about the Gypsy curse . Don’t you know it would be better to throw yourself into the river Lagan and drown than to cross a gypsy . Isn’t that right Danny ? .”

Danny : “That’s the way it is Sly Sammy . I’ve got a wife and three kids who depend on me and I’m not having any part of the gypsy curse on my head .“

Sly Sammy : “ Both of you are yellow . You’re nothing but two frightened wee babies . You should stand up and be a man for once . Look at me I’m not having any part of the gypsy curse . Its not having any effect on me .”

Eugene : “ I’ve heard tell and seen people who have been touched by the gypsy curse . Its not a thing to be taken lightly .”

Sly Sammy : “ Well in that case I’ll be keeping my penny and my chin up . You can have your rope and I hope you choke on it . I’ll not be back in this shelter that’s for sure . Another thing I’ll be spreading the news all over the city about this and two little scary fairy men who go by the name of Danny and Eugene . In a few days you’ll be the local joke of the entire city. “

Danny : “That’s fine but I don’t think you’ll live that long . I’ve seen that look before on peoples faces .“

Sly Sammy : “ What look are you talking about ?”

Danny : “Wouldn’t you like to know .“

Sly Sammy : “ Tell me Danny what are you talking about ?”

Danny : “Do you see it too Eugene .“

Eugene : “ Oh yes , I do indeed .“

Sly Sammy : “ What is it you see ?”

Danny : “You wouldn’t want to know Sammy .”

Eugene : “No you wouldn’t know and its not a pretty picture .”

Danny : “I think you better be off now while you still can Sammy .“

Sly Sammy : “ You’re away in the head , both as mad as hell I’m telling you : Mad .”

(Sly Sammy makes his way exit through the door and then Danny and Eugene burst out in fits of laughter . Suddenly the door burst in and Sister Pascal came through the door with a large pot in her arm and put it down on the desk )

Eugene : “Well if its not the friendliest face this side of heaven . Hello Sister Pascal and how are you ?”

Sister Pascal : “Couldn’t be better my son and how’s the saint of the street fairing these days ?”

Eugene : “I’m hoping for a sudden change of circumstances sister “.

Danny : “Aren’t we all Eugene . What can I do for you sister Pascal?”

Sister Pascal : “I’ve brought a little gift for all the men on the rope . It’s a drop of vegetable soup that the sisters and I cooked up for Christmas . I thought maybe there would be a few bellies here that might need filled . I can’t be away long . I remember one night when I went out from the monastery and his Lordship called and there wasn’t even a slice of bread in the place . See we’re not allowed out you know .In fact we mustn’t show our faces in public , But sure what good are rules if they can’t be tested or maybe even broken “.

(Danny lifted the lid from the pot and the room was filled with the aroma from the pot . A drop of Gods own brew .Just as Sister Pascal made her exit two more came into the room . A woman and a man . The lady was dressed in a fur coat that had seen better days . Her hair scattered . Right behind her a young man , well dressed but shaking all over . Not form the cold but with his bad nerves .)

Danny : “What can I do for you Missus ?”

Mags :”The name is Margaret but you may call me Mags .”

Danny : “Right Mags is there anything I can do for you ?”

Mags :”I must confess I’m rather embarrassed you see . I’ve misplaced the keys to my house and I have no place to stay tonight . I was directed to come here , where I’m told I may be able to find shelter .”

Danny : “That’s no problem Mags . We have a system called the penny rope . What it is Mags is for a penny you can take the weight off your feet as well as get a roof over your head for the evening . Apart from that you get to meet some very interesting people . So Mags , have you a penny. ”

Mags :”Let me have a look in my purse .

(As she puts her hand into her coat pocket , a small flask fell out . She grabbed it frantically as if her life depended on it She put it away again very carefully then she took her purse and produced a penny )

Oh I do believe I have a penny sir , so if its all right I’d like to stay in your room for one evening .“

Danny : “That’s not a problem Mags . Find a place anywhere on the rope . That fellas called Eugene over there . He’s a good man .”
Mags :”I’m very much obliged to you sir .”

Danny : “Just one question Mags . Was that a flask of alcohol you dropped ?”

Mags :”Not at all. It was holy water . I keep it with me everywhere I go . See I’m plagued by demons night and day . I need it to fight them off . It’s a terrible existence I have . But in my own way I’ve learned how to cope . Mind you , its not easy .”

Danny : “Ok then Mags .Off you go .

(Danny was very lenient as it was Mags first time at the penny rope )

Now then young man , tell me what can I do for you ?”

Nervous Noel : (Speaking with a serious stutter) ” We..wel ..well I ..I’d like ..ah ..I’d li..li..like “

Danny : “Its all right . Take your time son .”

Nervous Noel : Room on the ro..roo.rope .

(Noel takes some tablets from a pill box and tries in vain to get one out but in the process he drops five on the floor . Its all too much for Danny to bear )

Danny : “Here . Let me help .

(Danny takes one out and gives it to him )

What’s your name son ?”

Nervous Noel :”No.. No.. Noel . My name’s No..No.. Noel. “

Danny : “Ok then Noel . Have you a penny for the rope ?”

Nervous Noel :”I do ..do “

Danny : “Then there’s no problem Noel . I’ll just fill in your name in my book and you can take you place on the rope .“

(Noel was fumbling in his pocket for the penny when someone else walked in the door ..Mad Mick the ex-prisoner who stood there watching Noel trying to hand over the penny , He stood there with this arrogance as if he owned the place and every owed him something )
Mad Mick :”You’ve got a problem “

Nervous Noel :”I..I..I’m so..so..sor..sorry . You go before me . .me “

Mad Mick :”I’ll tell you what . I’ll stick a knife in your heart . You won’t feel a thing . It will all be over in two seconds . “

Danny : “Is there something I can help you with ?”

Mad Mick :”Here . (Mick throws a penny on the desk) I’ll just take my place on the rope . I’ll be glad when this snow is over .“

Danny : “Can I have you name plea se ?“

Mad Mick :”Sure. The name’s Mad Mick That’s what I’m known by round here anyway .“

Danny : “Ok then Mick . The shelter must be vacated by ten in the morning . There’s some soup in the pot if you want some .”

Mad Mick :”Sounds fine to me . I’ll have a drop of that All I’ve had is porridge and dry bread for the last twelve months.”

Danny : “Where were you Mick?”

Mad Mick :”Put it this way I wasn’t in Butlins or a holiday camp ..”

Danny : “Ok then have you a penny for the rope ?”

Mad Mick :”Sure I’ve got a penny . Didn’t I just throw it on the desk . Are you blind or something .“

Danny : “I’m sorry , my mistake . I didn’t see it .”

Mad Mick :”I pay my way around here .”

Danny : “I’m sorry Mick .“

Mad Mick :”That’s ok . Here , see this freak beside me here , I think he’d be better of forgetting all about it . What do you say ?”

..got the penny .”

Danny : “All right Noel . Take your place on the rope .Hey where did those scares on your wrist come from Noel ?“

Nervous Noel :”I..I..I tri trie tried to do myself in .”

Mad Mick :”So you never made it then kid . Is that what you’re trying to say ‘“
Nervous Noel :”Shu..shu..shut your mouth It’s nothing to do ..wi..with you .”

Danny : “Its all right Noel . Take your place on the rope.”

(So there on the rope hung the four unfortunates ,Nervous Noel ,Eugene Mags and Mad Mick . Looking directly at the audience while talking among themselves )

Mad Mick :”So tell me , what’s you name again ?”

Eugene : “Eugene . I’m Eugene and you ?”

Mad Mick :”I’m called Mad Mick . Not by nature . By choice.”

Eugene : “what you mean is you’re your own man .”

Mad Mick :”In a city like this tell me Eugene , who’s not their own man ?”

Eugene : “You’ve got a point there Mad Mick .”

Mad Mick :”So tell me Eugene . What do you do for a crust ?”

Eugene : “I paint .”

Mad Mick :”What houses ?”

Eugene : “No , faces .”

Mad Mick :”So you’re an artist Eugene ?”

Eugene : “Not by choice but by nature .”

Mad Mick :”Point taken Eugene . Can you paint my face ?”

(Eugene goes very quiet , Nervous Noel butts in )

Eugene : “Not by choice but by nature .”

Nervous Noel: “ Shu..shu..shut up your mouth .”

Mad Mick :”Listen here flea brain , the next time you open your mouth , I’ll put my foot in it , ok?”

Danny : “All right gentlemen , who’s for some soup?“

(Just then another person walks into the shelter using a walking stick . He hobbles over to the desk .)

Danny : “Tucker , there’s nothing for you here . On your way .”

Tapper Tucker :”Just give me a penny Danny . I need the bus fare home . I can’t walk on these wooden legs ,
(Just then another person walks in

Danny : “You cant work because you’re half drunk Tucker .”

Tapper Tucker :”What would you know . I was in the war and I’ve got the medals to prove it .”

Danny : “Sure thing Tucker , the only way you’ve been in , was the fight with the bottle for half your life .”

Mags:” That’s not a nice thing to say Danny . He’s a returned soldier and needs cared for .”

Tapper Tucker :”Now there’s a smart lady .
(Tucker walks over to Mags )
Have you a spare penny . I need the bus fare home. “

Mags:” Sorry , but I’m a little embarrassed right at this point in time .”

Nervous Noel :”Here.. ..I..I’ve a spare penny .“

(Tapper Tucker stands for two minutes while Nervous Noel tries to get the penny out of his pocket . Finally he grabs it and makes his exit . Danny pours a mug of soup and hands it to Eugene . He waits for him to finish it before returning to refill it again . Then he hands it to Mags .)

Danny : “I’m sorry but there’s only one mug and you’ll all have to share it among yourselves .”

(Suddenly two more people come in . A lady and a man . The man has a hood over his head .Danny returns to his desk . The man removes the hood from his head and speaks softly to Danny )

The Man : “God bless all here .”

Danny : “Can I help you ?”

The Man : “My wife’s with child , Please let us stay . There’s nowhere else .”

Danny : “Sorry . There’s no room left .”

The Man : “Do you know of where else that they could put us up tonight ?”

Danny : “There’s no where else but here I’m afraid.”
(The woman cries out in pain . Lights shine down on stage from overhead . Danny panics )
What are we going to do ?”

The Man : “The baby is coming.”

Danny : “Quick Noel run to the city hospital and get an ambulance .”

The Man : “There is no time . The baby will arrive at any moment .”

Danny : “Well then . What do we do . I’m no doctor .”

Nervous Noel :”No bu..but I am or I us..used to be.. before , before the accident .”

Mad Mick :”What you ; a doctor?”

Nervous Noel :”Shut your mouth and get me some rags and boiling water quick.”

(Suddenly a change came over Noel , it was like he was transformation into another person )

Mad Mick :”You’re ok doc. “

Eugene : “Boiling water coming up .“

Danny : “Mags give me that fur coat of yours .”

(Mags took off the coat and gave it to Danny who laid it on the floor and helped the lady into the delivery position . The woman’s husband sat beside her )

The Man : “Don’t worry . Its almost over now . The doctors here and the babies on its way .”

(Nervous Noel kneels down beside her)

Nervous Noel :”Don’t worry you’re in good hands . I must ask you to start breathing deeply now .”

(The lady responded . Everyone in the room gathered around. After a few moments the cry of a new born baby echoed all around the stage . Strange singing as well is heard and one by one every body falls fast asleep . The
lights are dimmed on stage and when they come back on .The stage is bathed in light .Spot lights hit the stage from various angles .)

Danny : “Merry Christmas everyone .”

(Everyone shake hands ad they recall what they had seen the night before but there is no sign of the man woman or child . One by one each one asks the same question ..did it really happen. As the new staff member arrives for day shift Danny hands over the leys and slowly each person makes their exit from the stage )

Curtain falls – End of Play