The First Day At School

The First Day At School

By Paul McCann

My first day at school was like a transition from dreamland to a concentration camp . I was just one of the hundreds of other children being detained in a room inside the walls of this detention centre .

The teacher was one of the guards who had been  hired as a baby snatcher  . The only thing that I  learnt that day was that my mother had abandoned me in a place where no one knew who I was and I knew no one who was  there .

So, for the first time in my life, I was lost in a place with no escape .

There were no words of consolation , no compensation and for the trauma and suffering I was going through there was no sedation ,

I spent most of that day trying to hide my tears underneath the desk that I was allocated .

My face had been blackened by my dirty hands in my efforts to wipe away my tears .

The classroom teacher at one stage took all of us children outside to a concrete area called the schoolyard and made us stand in a circle to perform some ancient ritual dance she called , “Ring A Ring A Rosie .”

At that stage I was ready to make a run for it, but the gates were shut and I had  nowhere to run  to. At the point of emotional exhaustion and the end of my wits , I went into complete shutdown . In a state of frozen silence and physical collapse I remained unconsolable until my mother arrived to take me home from that 

awful place . My Mammy had a long talk with the teacher and I was hoping she had told her that I would never again  be returning to back to this place ever again .

As we  home, she held my hand and asked  ,

“So, tell me what was school like today ?”
I was too distressed to speak so I never spoke . Then on the way home it started to rain  and I never had a raincoat .

My hair was wet and my clothes got soaked .

I wished the ground would just open up and swallow me .

It was one of those days I have never forgotten .

When we got home, she said to me .
“Your first day at school is over so from now you’ll see it will get better “
Maybe those words were supposed to make me  feel better  but to be honest they only made it worse .

To this very day I still recall the inside of that classroom and the outside schoolyard and my first day  spend there seemed like an eternity 

The playground games were more of a punishment for a child at five years of age. Something had happened to me on that day that change my perception of  life and where I was at . I think on that day I had experienced a forced growth maturity inside myself and I believe that I also had quickly aged overnight and in the morning I was more than ready and willing to go to school.  The more I think about that day now As an adult the experience of my first day at school was more like shock therapy treatment in an asylum . The next day I had forgotten everything about the previous day at school and

was even willing to walk on my own to school , I told my mother .

“It’s ok Mammy , I can go by myself to school “

She looked a little sad when I told her that .

“Are you sure ?

She asked me and I replied .

“I’m a big boy now Mammy . Don’t worry  “

The End