Gone Fishing

Gone Fishing

By Paul McCann

 

Barney and Charlie were the best of friends , brought up in a small village as orphans in different homes . They were never lonely because they had been adopted and loved by caring people who encouraged them . Charlie was a little slow and Barney was a little bit eager than most to get things done .

.In their early years both lads took to school ad learnt to be smart although Charlie was slower than most to learn but Barney was always there to help .

As young men they worked for the local fisheries and gained knowledge about catching and cleaning and selling fish .

Barney and Charlie never married because of their sad memories of being abandoned by their parents it made them fear having children with the worst scenario of the marriage dissolving and their children being affected by that .

Becoming an orphan had left issues in both their lives that were hard to deal with however they both enjoyed their jobs in the fisheries until they retired .

In their retirement Barney and Charlie often like to go outside on a small boat to do some fishing and what they caught they sold fresh every morning to people around the local area . They got on well with most people and were well liked by everyone .

On some weekends Barney and Charlie gave away some of the fish they had caught to a few of the local community groups who always appreciated the kindness shown and repaid them in different ways during the year .

The local boxing club had battered beer lunches on the beach with the fish Charlie and Barney donated . The bus company held bingo nights with discounted fish and chips for everyone with the fish Barney and Charlie donated .

Charlie was  often a bit slow with things and Barney liked to banter with his lack of understanding in a harmless fashion that was fun for everyone who knew them .

There was never any animosity between both men and they had been good friends all their lives .

They were affectionately known as the beach boys by most people because of the amount of time they were on the beach and on the water . Tye loved fishing and wasted no timer getting out there . It helped them to relax and made them some extra cash as well ..

Just for a change they had an idea to try and expand their business and went to another bay they had never fished before on the far side of Saltwater Bay .

One of the local men said they could borrow his boat shed there at Keystroke inlet and with that kind offer Barney and Charlie made their way to that place .

So off they went , the two of them with their fishing gear in the horse and cart to the place where the boat shed was located .

There was no distraction on the empty road in the early hours of Saturday morning .

“What a beautiful day it is Charlie to be going fishing”.

Barney said .

Charlie replied .
“So about how far away are we now Barney ?”

“I’d be happy to tell you Charlie but I don’t as I ;vet never been there before “

Said Barney .

“Do you think we have any luck out there today with the catch Barney ?”

Charlie asked .

“Well, let’s hope we can fill the boat, Charlei . Listen give us one of your songs now :

Barney said .

Charlie thought for a minute and put his hat on the seat before slowly getting to his feet in the front of the cart where he began to sing  an old song he had learnt and with a gusto in his voice he began “

“Oh, Danny boy the pipes , the pipes are calling “

He tried to keep his balance while he sang but, in the end, he had to sit back down to finish the song .Barney let out a squeal and said ,

“Ah sure Charlie , you know I love that there song “

\Suddenly the horse flinched and almost the two from the cart .Barney pulled up the horse to the side of the road and said ..
“What the heck’s wrong with you Bayboy ?”

The around the bend came a motor bike at speed , swerving as it tried to straighten up . The rider almost lost control and came off but managed to keep upright and continue along the road at speed .

Charlie said ,

“You know Barney they say horses are physic and I’m thinking Bayboy must have known there was a bike out of control approaching >

Bo-Bo got out of the front and walked over to Bayboy and looked him in the eyes and said ,

:“Jezz I’ll tell you what Bayboy you must have seen that coming.”:

The horse seemed to nod his head agreeing to what was said ,

So, Barnet got back behind the reins and they continued their journey to Keystroke Inlet . .

Harlie said .

“It sure is good to get away fishing in a new spot for a change Barney “

Barney said .
“Charlie it’s as good as a holiday .“

Barney replied ,

“The beach boys have gone fishing in finer waters for fish that have never been caught before ?”

Barney laughed and said  ,

“Where did you get that one from ?”

,“I heard it on an advertisement on the radio Barney .”
Barney looked across and said
“What advertisement was that then ”

 

Charlie replied .
“On some dating agency , they were saying that there’s finer fish in the sea that have never been caught .:

 

Barney replied

“So, what are you looking for somebody to go on a date with then ?”

 

“Me , go away Barney . I just heard the advertisement . Sure, who would want to go on a with someone my age ?”

 

They both laughed and Charlie folded his arms . They both sat in silence for a while and then they saw a road sign pointing to the left  .

“Welcome to Keystroke Inlet”

 

“Ok Charlie that’s us ‘”
Barney said and Charlie replied ,

“So, is that where we’re going then “
Barney replied .
Where is that ?”
Charlie said ,

“Oh nowhere.”
Barney said  .

“That’s great . I’ll go there too ”
they both burst out laughing  .

Barney turned and quickly glanced into Charlies face and said .
“You’re as mad as me Charlie . Look at the two of us silly old codgers “

 

Charlie put his head down and with a sad tone he said ,.
“Ok then if you say so .“

 

“What’s the matter Charlie ?”

Charlie said

“Well, if you think we’re silly I guess you must be right Barney “

 Feeling sorry for him Barney gently said ,.
“Charlie it was just a banter , I never meant to be serious “

 “Ok then . So maybe we can come back here again another day if the fish are biting  well today :“

Barney replied ,

“I don’t see why not Charlie “

Charlie replied ,

Maybe even three times a month Barney ?”

Barnet replied

“Even as often as we like , Sure we’ve nothing better to do is they fish are biting Charlie “

Charlie laughed ,

“Barney its great isn’t it to be able to fish all we want whenever we want “

Barney replied ,

“Charlie, we don’t need to be told or asked why we do what we do ?”

Charlie looked up and said ,
“Ok so when do you think we might come back here again  ?”

Barney looked at his watch and said .

“ God knows maybe next week ‘ Let’s just get today out of the way first Charlie “

 

Charlie replied ,

“Look there , see that sign . “

 

”I sure do . It’s the boatshed we were told about Charlie “

\

They made their way over on the horse and cart to the boatshed where they got oof and went to inspect the place and to their surprise the boat shed was locked  up.
They checked all the windows and doors but there was no way in .

 

Charlie tossed his head in the air and said .
“Barney what are we going to do now . Our whole day is wasted . Two hours on the road and we can’t get to the boat “.

 

Just to make matters worse it started to rain . But a bit of luck presented itself . There Lying on the other side of the boat shed was an upturned boat , Barney decided to  borrow that for a few hours ,

“ Lucky our unknown friend left us his boat here Charlie .“
Said Barney  .

“Gee Barney you have some nice friends “
Charlie said and Barney replied .

 

“Right then Charlie , come on let’s get under this boat and carry it to the shore .

They both lifted the boat and carried in to the water’s edge . A set of small oars were strapped to the insides of the boat . They returned brought their fishing gear and put it all in the boat before placing the boat into the water and shortly afterwards they  were making their way outside to the bay . The rain was getting heavy and Barney suggested that they head over to take shelter under the jetty bridge nearby ..
But Charlie was wanting to head back to the shore .

Barney opened up his haversack and threw some bait in the water that immediately brought some fish around and he cast a net into the water and began to scoop the fish into the net and put them into a crate on the boat  .
Charlie was getting excited now and he began to gran another net with a rod and the fish were almost jumping into the boat .

It wasn’t long until the boat was half full of fish . So, Charlie began to throw out the smaller fish to make room for bigger fish  Barney began to use a rod and landed some large fish into the boat .

Some of the large fish were hard to reel in but as they hung in the air Charlie caught them with a net and with the other open hand he managed sling them into the boat.

 

The boat was so full now they made their way back to shore to unload their catch.

Barney noticed a crowd was gathering around beyond the steps from the pier and he gave them a friendly wave . Some of them waved back and made a friendly sound like yahoo there .

Charlie asked ,

‘So is that some more of your friends then Barney “

Barney replied with a yodel and a yippee yahoo . To catch the attention of some of the crowd ,then he said ,

“Charlie come on we’re in business”.

 

Some of the crowd approached and Charlie asked ,

 

“What’s going on Barney “
Barney replied ,

‘

“ No time to explain Charlie , our customers are waiting . Good morning, ladies and gentlemen , just in time for catch . Come and get your fresh fish . Buy one or buy them all . Large and small .Al at one price , cheap . Grab yourselves a bargain at half the price . We’ve caught them all just for your pleasure .

“

Barney winked his eye at Charlie who woke up and then joined in the sales pitch .

“ Welcome ladies and gents we are the beach boys who have come here today to bring you a show and some fine fish so come and have a look . We won’t bite and the fish just might but  we will make them already for you to eat . We will have them  all cleaned and gutted , live on the spot . Some are big and some are not but all of them are all fresh and there are still more out there ever finer waiting to be caught ?”

 

People were in the que4ue to buy some fish ,’

Charlie stood back in wonder and watched as Barney began to attract some more custom then he said to Charlie .
,
“Quick Charlie do something here they come .“

“What am I to do ?”
Charlie asked .

“Sing that song of yours or  tell a joke or two . Cause you’re the man who knows what this is all about,  Right and while you’re at it put all the money in this bag .“

People crowded around . Barney and Charlie upturned the boat and began to sell their catch .

Charlie said ,
“That’s right folks these are fresh fish all right . Straight from the Sillywaters Bay “

‘He means Sallywaters Bay “
Barney said with a smirk and everyone laughed . Then Charlie said.

"No what I meant to say was , Still Waters Barney "

"Get it right the first time Charlie, so what you're trying to say is in the still waters of Sallywaters Bay .
The beach boys were putting on a great show and the people were loving it ..

 

Charlie said ,

“ Eat them now or share them around . The taste is salty and cool but don’t be a fool and take them home to cook in the kitchen “

 

Barney continued

“Tell you what , let me sample one for you .“
He grabbed one of the fish and took a bite . Immediately he spat it out and stood to the side in a fit of coughing and murmured.

“Well, I think he’s right you better take them home a cook them in the kitchen :

 .
Some of the customers looked frightened other were  laughing in hysterics but it was all a bit of harmless fun .

 

“I can’t take him anywhere :

Charlie said , pointing at Barney who replied ,quickly and said .

“Charlie I’ve told you a thousand times to clean out the guts first before I take a bite .”

Everyone started to laugh as if it was part of an act and Barney tossed Charlie another fish and Charlie threw it back . Then  Barney started to juggle that with a few more fish that went over his head then he quickly pulled out a small knife from his pocket and grabbed one of the fish and began to clean and gut it , The crowd loved the spectacle that drew more people over to watch , Some of them were stunned by the speed of Barney’s hand that had been doing this kind of things all his life . He was humming away and Charlie was taking in the money as parcels of fish were being snapped up .

The crowd was five deep by now and hands went up by the score .
Some wanted a half dozen others ever more . They are all cleaned and gutted and taken away  . Some of the crowd took photographs of the beach boys at work .

After everything was sold Barney and Charlie said thank you and closed up business for the day . Then they started to count up the money they had made .
It had been a very good day and Barney smiled and said ,

“I’m thinking we might be back here mush sooner than we expected Charlie “

,”That was a great day Barney and a decent day taking . Let’s go and get ourselves a drink  , I think we both deserve that, Barney .“

 

The End