Diarrhea of the mouth is when you open your mouth & shit flies out.

without excusing the inappropriate language, can I just vent, please?

how is it that people feel justified in saying whatever they want? be it argument, rebuttal, comment, or question: somehow rules just don't apply to them. have you met this person? certainly you must have! how often does it really occur? how many times a day and do you catch it EVERY time?

now there's a certain someone who's just baffled me with their pure disregard for common sense, reason, or truth. let me give an example of the way this conversation might unfold:

me: "there is no excuse for your behavior today!"

them: "my behavior? [incredulous] there was no behavior! In fact, I think it's you who may have something wrong with them."

me: "wait, something wrong with them...I didn't say that at all! I was talking about your actions today."

them: "well, there were no actions and I don't know why you keep accusing me of these things! [indignant] why can't you just believe me?!?"

me: "I wasn't accusing you; just simply pointing out some behavior that I find unsavory. There is nothing to believe, since it happened a mere two hours ago..."

them: " well, i don't know what's wrong with you, but you MUST be imagining things and i'm really getting tired of defending myself against things that just simply aren't true! everyone else thinks i'm honest and trustworthy, except you! ... so it must be you!"

me: "i think you got me wrong because I HAVEN'T EVEN SAID WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!!!"

has this ever happened to you? And don't you wish you could use it as well? For something more worthy than pure self avoidance but like, say, a traffic ticket? Here it goes:

officer: "do you know why i pulled you over today?

me: "i wasn't going fast, sir; in fact...i wasn't even going! i think you've mistaken me for some other driver because everyone saw me just sitting there. so how could i be going fast if i wasn't even going?!"

officer: "have you been drinking today? i'm gong to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle, please."

me: "i'm so sick of defending myself against you and your fellow officers. i think something is really wrong with you! you were speeding and to take the focus off of your police-force you have decided to target me for speeding and drunk driving!

officer: "i'm going to place you under arrest for obstruction of justice. please step out of the vehicle and place your...."

me: "i won't stand for this! i want my lawyer!"

wouldn't that be a more appropriate situation??? no, not really, i say! this type of ignorance just makes me insane and I'm kinda thinking about away my powers of reason, throw up my hands, and return to my chimp-like roots.

at least then we'll have an excuse for this nonsense. just make certain...certain...that those words of displaced justification, never fall from your own righteous-ass lips!!!