Heavenly

The corpse lay face down on the hearth rug. A pool of red-flecked
bile was crusted around his lips. Detective Inspector John Devon stood
up, flexed his aching back and turned to the miserable-looking assembly
clustered around the walls of the banqueting hall beyond the police
crime scene tape.

"What we have here, people, is a case of deicide, pure and simple.
Somebody has murdered Comus, The God Of Revelry&;#8230; Someone has
murdered The Life And Soul Of The Party&;#8230;"

There was a murmur of horror from the odd-looking crowd. Devon sniffed
and raised an arm in the air. "Nobody leaves here until we've taken a
statement from each and every one of you lot. Oi, you !" He pointed at
an elderly figure holding a brace of wine gourds. "You got a license
for doing that ? I can get you twelve months." Bacchus pulled a face
and hid the gourds behind a pot-plant. Devon directed his sharp gaze
elsewhere among the gathering. "You in the corner&;#8230; yes, you,
Aphrodite. Get your drawers on, luv. And as for you, drunk in charged
of a winged helmet. Six months."

A voluminous, white-bearded figure with a jewelled eye patch stood up
and snorted. "You can't do this." His accent was thick and vaguely
foreign. "Do you know who I am ?" A muscled youth with a red goatee and
a mallet nodded in agreement and Devon thought he heard a rumble of
thunder overhead.

"I know exactly who you are, sunshine, but I took down The Easter Bunny
when he went rogue. What do you think I'm going to do to you ?"

The two Norse Gods muttered to themselves and sat back down. Devon
turned to his sergeant.

"Karl ?"

"Yes, guv ?"

"Round up the usual suspects."

"Yes, guv."

* * *

"So, Mister high and mighty God of Mischief. Where were you at four o'
clock this morning ? What mischief were you causing then ?" Loki
shrugged and held out his hand. Devon gripped the proffered fingers,
prompting a grimace from the trickster.

"Do you really expect me to fall for this ?" Devon twisted the hand
round brutally and stared at the joy buzzer in the god's palm. Loki
shrugged once again.

* * *

The jackal-headed Egyptian God Of The Dead looked sheepishly downwards
and shuffled his feet, long ears pointing limply at the floor. "Listen,
squire, we can get a permanent muzzle for you if you don't want to
talk&;#8230;"

"Look, I was in the middle of a big poker game with Hades and Pluto,
okay ? Can I go now ?"

* * *

"You can shriek and wail all you like, Chthulu, but the question still
stands; where were you at four o' clock this morning, and don't point
your tentacles at me like that unless you want a good
slapping&;#8230;"

* * *

"You ? As if you would be involved in this. Go back home and bother
somebody else&;#8230;" Lucifer calmly folded his hands and his wings
behind his back, smiled and left the building.

* * *

Devon leaned against the wall in the banqueting hall once more, a
Woodbine glowing between his lips. Around him, numerous sergeants and
constables interviewed, grilled and basically terrified things that
were the things of legend. Or of nightmare.

Kali and Shiva tossed angry accusations at eachother. The Minotaur and
Cerebrus snivelled and wept as a young police officer barked questions
at them.

Terpsichore danced a sad dance of mourning for the dead god, whilst
Aphrodite began to get amorous once again with a more than willing
Cupid, until a WPC threw a vase of cold water over them.

And waiting over in the corner stood a girl clad entirely in crow
black. Devon stubbed out his cigarette on the gold leaf wall decoration
and wandered over.

"Never seen you round here before."

"I'm&;#8230; new in town." The girl's eyes shone with a sapphire
radiance from beneath the raven's wing of a fringe and Devon felt his
gloom lift.

"And you are ?"

She smiled, she beamed, she positively glowed. Devon's heart began to
warm to her and a smile twitched the corners of his lips. When she
spoke, it was like angel choirs in his head. "I used to be known as
Bliss." She stretched the sibilant out almost to breaking point. "Or
Rapture." She moved sinuously and he felt long-dormant parts of his
body stirring. "These days, though, they call me something
else&;#8230; Ecstasy&;#8230;"

Devon's dizzied smile faded. "Oh, I have heard of you&;#8230;"

"I didn't mean any harm. I was just trying to liven things up a bit.
Most of the time, it works a treat&;#8230;"

"This was one of those other times&;#8230;"

"He&;#8230; Comus&;#8230; he just took it badly, that's all. I
didn't mean to kill him. It's not even as if he was one of the major
deities like&;#8230; like The Lord Of The Dance for
instance&;#8230;"

"Doesn't matter what he was, luv, you still killed him." He pulled out
his notepad, fumbled around for a pen, couldn't find one. "Right. You
stay there and don't try anything. The place is sealed up tight."

Ecstasy smiled wanly and leaned back against the wall. Devon turned to
his sergeant. "Karl ?"

"Yes, guv ?"

"Phone HQ for a holding wagon while I talk to madam, here&;#8230;"
He produced a betting shop pen from the lining of his jacket.

"Who, guv ?"

"What's up ? You blind or&;#8230;" Devon turned back to where the
girl had been standing.

The space was empty. Devon snapped the pen between his fingers. "Oh
bugger !" (or words to that effect)

* * *

The banqueting hall now stood empty. The corpse of Comus had been
carted off to the mortuary (where it would remain for three days before
disappearing mysteriously). Devon stood staring at the chalk outline.
"Where do you reckon she went, Karl ?"

"Dunno, guv."

"I think I have an idea. Somewhere in this god-infested city there's
another party. And at this party, there she'll be, handing out the
jollity and the pleasure with a grin and a high. Maybe things will go
okay. Or maybe some other poor bugger will end up with a chalk line
around them&;#8230;"

The sound of the theme tune from "Mission: Impossible" chirped
tunelessly from within his pocket. "Devon&;#8230; Yes&;#8230;
Really ? Okay, I'll be there in half an hour&;#8230;" He slipped the
phone back into his jacket.

Karl stared at him. "Guv ?"

"Got another one, Karl&;#8230; Some lunatic in a porcelain mask is
holding the opera house audience hostage&;#8230;" He grinned
ruefully and moved towards the huge doors. "Well, no rest for the
wicked&;#8230;"

"So, how evil have we been then, guv ?"

"Very funny&;#8230;"

* * *

And, in another loud, brightly-lit gathering in the heart of the city,
a sapphire-eyed girl with crow-black hair grinned.

And everyone else grinned with her&;#8230;