Holding Onto Shona

PREFACE

I listen to my ipod as I wander aimlessly through the forest. The leaves crunch underfoot and raindrops soak my all to permeable sweater. I came into the woods on impulse and it's a mixture of adrenaline, impulse and a hint of instinct that carries me deeper. Deeper into the depths of the forest. I don't know time it is and frankly I couldn't care less. Here in the woods the worries of everyday life are banished. It's my safe haven. The rain picks up and I take shelter under some of the larger trees. I've been in the forest for about half an hour, it's time for me to head home-my stomach is growling. I follow my trail of broken bracken back to the main road.

When I'm back at my house I let Candy, my
1-year-old pug, outside. Only, when I open the door there is an intricately woven casket on the doorstep. When I peer into the casket, a beautiful baby stares back out at me and in its delicate little palm is a note. It read; 'Take care of her for me. Her name is Shona.' I stare in amazement at the baby, she can't be any more than a few days old. My head tells me to call 999 but my heart tells me this will cause too many problems.

In the end I go with my head and within 2 minutes of them arriving Shona is gone. They interview me and then they surprise me. They ask me if I want to adopt her or at the very least foster. Someone wanted me to have that baby, so I follow my heart and say yes. After that it's a blur of paperwork. I'll look after her for a 3 month trial period. When the trial period is up I'm free to foster her.

I'm more excited than I have been in a while and all because of a baby called Shona.

I go to the shop to get some stage 1 baby formula and nappies. She is coming to live with me in 2 days. Social services gave me a list of stuff that babies need.It was a big help since the person who left Shona hadn't bothered.

Knock, knock. The day had come and they were bringing her to me.

CHAPTER 1 - THE START

Everything has happened so fast, from me being a care free 20-year-old without a job to a 35-year-old working mum. It was a big change but it felt natural. Shona quickly settled into a routine, sleeping through the night and hardly crying. Her first words were mummy and I exuded joy for the next month. She walked at just 12 months and she's grown up so fast, she's 15 today and all she's interested in is boys and make-up. We moved to a 3 bedroom house when she was one so that she could have her own room and we love it here!

Her friends have started to arrive and I've been banished to the kitchen so that I can't embarrass her. The door knocks and I answer it so she can carry on partying but when I open the door it's not one of her friends its a woman in her late twenties maybe early thirties.

"Is shona here?" She inquires.
"Yes," I answer, wary. "why?"
"I'm her mother."
"I think you've got the wrong house." I stammer
And it all comes rudhing back to me. My walk, the casket, everything. I remembered everything. Shona came out to the hall to see who was at the door.
"Who are you?" Asks Shona.
"I'm your mum darling." The stranger at the door said.
Shona runs to her room and I turn on the stranger who was claiming to be Shona's long lost mother. But she called me mum now, she was too late.
"I think you should go," I say. "you're upsetting my daughter."
"Your daughter?" She said in a patronizing tone.
"Yes. My daughter, now leave!" I slam the door in her face and go to Shonas room to comfort her. When I go in her face is tear stained.
"Is she really my mum?" She asks me.
"I don't know, love"
"I don't want to see her, she left me." And she starts sobbing again.
"Do you want me to send your friends home?"
"No it's alright, i'll go down" And with that she wipes her eyes and goes back to the party.

That was Shona for you, she could deal with anything life threw at her. I just hoped that this mystery woman wouldn't send her off the rails like when I told her she was adopted. She'd not long gotten over it. I dug her social workers number out of my drawer, I needed answers. Especially if this was Shonas biological mum.

Apparently she can't come here like that because I've adopted Shona, so she no longer has any rights. She gave them up when she left her on my doorstep 15 years ago.

CHAPTER 2 - SHE'S BACK

TO BE CONTINUED...