The dumbest Animal

How often have you heard such expressions as; stubborn as a mule, filthy as a pig, scared as a chicken, dumb as an ox, mean as a badger, drunk as a skunk, and a wide variety of other quips about animals?
Have you ever stopped to think about how the animal might honestly relate to those old sayings, if they had the gift of rational thought?
For instance, the chicken is an exceptionally tasty bird and high on the list of most predators as a number one meal, including our list. It's also a relatively defenseless critter and not exactly a genius in the smarts department. When the good Lord passed out brains, the chicken thought he said rain, and ran in the other direction. In reflection, you might say the chicken has certainly learned and earned the right to be called, "A real chicken."
Now, when we say "filthy as a pig," here's another specimen that has earned that particular label and then some. Naturally, the pig, who happens to be carrying around a lot of extra weight and a few hitchhikers to boot, might respond that all that wonderful mud sure helps him to stay cool during the hot summer heat and it suffocates his uninvited guests. In fact, the pig might take a curious look at our unnecessary clothing on a hot day and think we're rather stupid.
When we start degrading the stubborn mule we may just be insulting his true intelligence. I had an old farmer tell me once that people who think the mule is a dumb animal couldn't be more wrong.
"Why, them mules got more smarts than any hoss or hound or human ever done thought of having," the old timer said. "You ever seen a hoss sit on his tail in order to get out of goin' somewhere? You ever seen a coon dog find water as fast as a mule can?" Perhaps stubborn isn't the word we should be using when we think of the smart mule!
As for the saying, "drunk as a skunk," I don't think I've ever seen a drunk skunk, have you?
When I honestly think about it, I don't believe I've ever seen a drunk animal of any kind, unless of course they've been made that way by ornery kids. I had a friend down in Pascagoula, a real mean teen, who put some white lightening in a chicken trough one day. After a few thirsty gulps, those poor chickens were trying to fly sideways, stepping all over their own feet, and probably thinking they had six legs apiece. Wasn't funny to me! I think it was a cruel thing to do to innocent critters.
If you think of it, none of the so called "dumb" animals listed above would intentionally drink alcohol or take drugs. They're just plain too smart.
Humans, to my knowledge, are the only animals dumb enough to drink themselves to oblivion or drug themselves to high heaven. Sure doesn't say very much about our level of intelligence, does it?
Perhaps we need to take a somewhat closer look at where we humans stand in the overall scheme of things. Just how fast did we run when God passed out the brains?
Many of us stubbornly adhere to the worn out saying that, "things taken in moderation are not harmful to us." I reckon it depends on what the definition of "things" is and what our definition of "moderation" is. Some "things" like pornography, drugs, lying, cheating, stealing, adultery (the list is long), are no good for us - period!
I guess one of our basic human problems is trying to decide what "things" we can use in moderation. I think we could learn a valuable lesson from the so called, "dumb" animals, because they're actually not that dumb in some respects. After all, they've learned to, "Just Say No" without our help!