Adventures of the Earthworm

 

Inspired by ISMO ‘The EARTHworm’ [ https://youtu.be/u_SgXKHADpU ]

 

1. The Cow

 

“I am a worm,” said the Earthworm. “From Earth.”

 

“How lovely,” said the cow.

 

“And you are…?," said the Earthworm.

 

“I am a cow,” said the cow.

 

“But which planet?," said the Earthworm.

 

“I don’t know,” said the cow. “I cannot conceive of such things,” she added. “Because I am a cow,” she clarified.

 

“Oh,” said the Earthworm.

 

 

2. The Sunflower

 

The Sunflower was very tall.

 

“You are in my path,” said the Earthworm.

 

“Go around me,” said the Sunflower.

 

“I could,” said the Earthworm; “but I am too important.”

 

“What makes you important?,” said the Sunflower.

 

“I am an Earthworm,” said the Earthworm.

 

“How does that make you important?,” said the Sunflower.

 

“I represent the whole planet,” said the Earthworm.

 

“Pah,” said the Sunflower.

 

“Why do you ‘Pah’?,” said the Earthworm.

 

“I am a Sunflower,” said the Sunflower.

 

“That’s bullshit,” said the Earthworm.

 

 

3. The Moon Bear

 

The Moon Bear yanked the Sunflower out of the ground and bit off its head.

 

“Ow!,” said the Sunflower - but only briefly, as a sunflower can’t survive without a head.

 

“That wasn’t very nice,” said the Earthworm.

 

The Moon Bear picked up the Earthworm and bit it in half.

 

“Ow!,” said the Earthworm, as the half of him that had been bitten off started to regenerate.

 

“Think yourself lucky I’m not hungry enough to eat all of you,” said the Moon Bear.

 

The Earthworm harrumph’d and skulked off.

 

 

4. The Starfish

 

The Earthworm ambled onto a beach and was confronted with a starfish.

 

“Hello, friend,” said the Earthworm.

 

“I am not your friend,” said the Starfish.

 

“Why not?,” said the Earthworm.

 

“We are not of the same species,” said the Starfish.

 

“This did not stop me, earlier today, from interacting with a cow, a Sunflower and a Moon Bear,” said the Earthworm.

 

“I am not a cow, a Sunflower or a Moon Bear,” said the Starfish.

 

“What are you?,” said the Earthworm.

 

“I am a Starfish,” said the Starfish.

 

“Do you know the Sunflower?,” said the Earthworm.

 

“No,” said the Starfish. “Why?”

 

“Never mind,” said the Earthworm.

 

 

5. The Cow, the Sunflower, the Moon Bear and the Starfish

 

The Earthworm was still on the beach.

 

Along came the cow. Then the Sunflower. Then the Moon Bear.

 

“But wait!,” said the Earthworm to the Sunflower. “I thought your head had been bitten off by the Moon Bear!”

 

“I am not the same Sunflower,” said the Sunflower.

 

“Are you from the Sun?,” said the Earthworm.

 

The Sunflower looked confused.

 

Before the Earthworm had had a chance to think about the Sunflower’s response to his question, the cow said, “Moo.”

 

“Your existence here is irrelevant,” said the Moon Bear to the cow.

 

- upon which the cow did a big, steaming cowpat on the gleaming white sand.

 

“Disgusting,” said the Moon Bear; “but for a reason I cannot explain, it has made me hungry,”

 

“Please do not eat me!,” said the Earthworm.

 

The Earthworm’s request was disregarded, however, as the Moon Bear stabbed it with a claw and popped it whole into his mouth.

 

“Are you going to eat me as well?,” asked the Sunflower.

 

“No, I’m full,” said the Moon Bear.

 

The Starfish burrowed quickly but quietly into the sand.