Elephant & Aliens to Brighton

- What was stopping you just picking up the phone and calling me?
> An elephant sat on me.
- An elephant? You expect me to believe that?
> It's true! I have witnesses.
- And who, pray tell, are these witnesses?
> I don't know.
- Why not?
> Couldn't see them.
- That's convenient.
> There was an elephant sat on me.
- So you said.
> I couldn't move. My face was to the ground.
- Could you hear anyone?
> No.
- Why not? Pixies blowing trumpets in your ears?
> No, that'd be the engines.
- Engines?
> Of the spaceship flying overhead.
- Of course, the spaceship...
> On its way to Brighton.
- Really? And how did you know it was heading for Brighton?
> Because of the alien who stopped to ask me the way.
- Was this before or after the elephant sat on you?
> Well, duh...
- ...?
> Before, of course.
- Why: 'of course'?
> How else would I have known he was an alien?
- My apologies, how stupid of me.
> Don't worry about it.
- No-o-o, really, I mean how else would you have known he... He?
> He.
- ...he was an alien asking the way to Brighton unless you had seen his green, pointy-chinned, saucer-eyed little face?
> Purple.
- Purple?
> Face.
- Right. Sorry.
> And he didn't have a pointy chin.
- Really?
> Or saucer-shaped eyes.
- Sorry, I just assumed...
> S'alright, you weren't to know.