Can Daunt Her Spirit - Episode 20

Gwladys and Aethelfrith cantered down the road in pursuit of the carriage, which they assumed was up ahead.

“’Ave you ever ridden bareback afore?”  Gwladys asked.

“Of course!” Aefelthrith lied.

“Ah, right,”  Gwladys nodded,  “only I’ve never seen no-one try it side-saddle.  Must be tricky?”

“If one is a lady” Aefelthrith panted with the sheer exertion of staying upright, “one has a certain standard to maintain”

“If you say so, lovey” Gwladys chuckled, “eh, I reckon I can see ‘em, just up there apiece.  ‘Ave yer still got yer veil about yer?”

“Yes, why?”

“Stick it over yer ‘ead and just agree with me, whatever I say, right?”

“Right” Aethelfrith nodded and dragged her veil across her face.

Gwladys speeded up a little and overtook the carriage, which was not making very good progress.  Pulling the length of wood from her skirts, she held it like a gun and yelled,

“Stand and Deliver!”

“Oh flamin’ ‘ell...” Said one of the drivers

“…that’s all we’re short of!”  Agreed the other.

The carriage came to an eventual halt.  Aefelthrith joined Gwladys, both holding a position just in front of the carriage horses, who did not seem very happy with their lot.

“’Ere, are you…”  One driver began.

“…‘ighway-women?”  The other driver asked, incredulously.

“And why not?” Aefelthrith asked.

“No, no, nothin’ don’t…” The first said, with his hands up

“…mean nowt by it, just wondered!”  The second explained.

“We’ve got nowt…”  The first began.

“…worth nickin’, sorry!”  The second driver grinned, weakly.

“What about the people in the carriage?” Gwladys asked.

“There ain’t…” The first driver shook his head.

 “…no-one in the carriage!”  The second driver explained.

“Are yer sure?” Gwladys asked, incredulously.

“Look, for a kick off…”  The first driver began.

“…this ain’t our carriage…” The second driver completed.

“We know that!” Aefelthrith snorted.

“What I mean is, we’re recoverin’ this…” The first said.

“…carriage for its rightful owners.” The second agreed.   

“Let me introduce ourselves, I’m Jarvis…”  Jarvis said, politely.

“…I’m Cocker, we’re bailiffs” Cocker explained. ”Give us ‘alf a chance and we’ll…”

“…distrain on yer chattels” Jarvis nodded.

“Bailiffs?” Gwladys sounded puzzled.

“Yeah, you see, when this carriage didn’t come back…”  Jarvis commenced.

“… after it was lent out to a seafaring gent, the owners asked us…”

“… if we could discreetly get it back for ‘em.  We ‘eard as ‘ow… “

“…it were ‘eading out of town and we’ve been followin’ it…”

“…at a distance of course…

“…ever since”  Cocker completed, with a smile.

“Ah, gotcher” Gwladys nodded and removed her veil, much to Aefelthrith’s surprise, “I think there’s a bit of confusion ‘ere.  Yer see, this carriage ‘as been ‘ired by a Parson and ‘is family.  We know ‘cause we work for them.  What’s more, they’re in this carriage what you’re carting off”

“Gerraway!” Jarvis said, with surprise.

“’Ang about, I’ll show yer” Gwladys dismounted and strode toward the carriage.  She knocked, loudly, on it and then opened the door.  Inside, Clarence rubbed his eyes and looked quizzically at Gwladys.

“Wha’s the matter?”  He asked, sleepily.

“I can’t believe yer’ve slept through all this” Gwladys hissed, “listen, sling yer ‘ook”

“What?”

“Get rid of yer ‘ook” Gwladys whispered, “and just remember, you ‘ired this carriage in good faith, right?”

To Jarvis and Cocker she said,

“My employer, Parson Brown, ‘e’ll come an’ tell yer all about it… in a minute”

“Gawd, we didn’t know…”  Cocker put his head in his hands.

 “…there was anyone in there!” Jarvis groaned, “we saw you two go off…”

“…and we thought, ‘eh up,  ‘ere’s a good opportunity to grab the carriage and scarper”  Cocker moaned.

“Only we ain’t been makin’ much progress…”  Jarvis grumbled.

“… on account of ‘ow our ‘orses ain’t used to pulling carriages” Cocker explained.

‘Parson Brown’ alighted from the carriage and joined Gwladys.

“N…n…now then, f…f…fellows, what s…s…seems to be the p…p…problem?”  He asked.

Jarvis and Cocker looked at the apparition long and hard.  A man in long johns, wearing a Parson’s hat and with only one hand, has a tendency to grab one’s attention.  So much so, that it took a little while, and a sotto voce discussion, for them to figure out what it was that he had said.

“We were jest tellin’ yer woman ‘ere…” Jarvis began.

“Gwladys is m…m…y m…m…maid.  The lady over there, is m…m…my child’s n…n…nanny”

“Yer’ve got a nipper an’ all?” Cocker groaned.

“M…m…my wife and n…n…new-born baby are in the carriage as well” The ‘Parson’ confirmed.

“This is a right mess and no mistake” Jarvis rubbed his forehead, “like I were sayin’ afore…”

“…we’ve been sent to recover this carriage.  Apparently, it were loaned to a…”  Cocker studied a screwed up bit of paper that he produced from his pocket, “Captain…”  He looked quizzically at Jarvis, who offered,

“…Dobbervile?”

“That would be C…C…Captain D’Arbanville” The ‘Parson’ nodded, “It was he who rented this c…c…carriage and horses to me”

Gwladys winked at him and grinned broadly.

“’E ‘ired it to you, did ‘e?”  Jarvis shook his head, sadly, “’E…”

“…‘ad no right to do that, sir” Cocker agreed, mournfully, “It weren’t ‘is to ‘ire”

“The arrangement was that we were to use the c…c…carriage and horses to gain our d…d…destination, thereafter, the C…C…Captain would j…j…join us and recover the t…t…transportation.  We paid a g…g…goodly sum for the service” The ‘Parson’ said, apparently miserably.

“I’m right sorry you’ve been in… Jarvis said.

“…convenienced, sir” Cocker also looked a picture of misery.

“What’s goin’ on, Clarence?”  Dolly made her way out of the carriage, clutching a newly awoken baby in her arms.  “Where the ‘ell are we?”

“I was j…j…just explaining to these gentlemen how we h…h…hired this carriage, in g…g…good faith, from C…C…Captain D’Arbanville” Clarence explained, hastily, before Dolly could say anything else, “these gentlemen are b…b…”

“Bastards?”  Dolly suggested.

“…bailiffs” Clarence shook his head and nodded toward Jarvis and Cocker, meaningfully.

“Oh, right!” Dolly nodded and gave them a thin smile, “only I’ve got this baby what’s been woken up and he’s none too happy about it”

“I dunno ‘ow we’re gonna…” Jarvis sighed.

“…sort this one out!” Cocker muttered.

“Can I make a suggestion?” Aefelthrith dismounted, gracefully and gratefully, and marched over to join the party.

“What’s that then?”  Gwladys asked.

“Well, it seems to me that no-one here has actually done anything wrong?”  Aefelthrith looked at Jarvis and Cocker, who nodded in agreement, “the person who should be held to account is this Captain, who is not here to face judgement”

“The v…v…villain!” Clarence suggested.

“Mr. Jarvis and Mr. Cocker are, of course, quite within their rights to recover this carriage for their employers.  However, that would leave all of us, including the baby” Aefelthrith looked at the crying infant, pointedly, “in the middle of nowhere”

“She’s got a…”  Jarvis began.

“…baby?” Cocker suggested.

“No, point!”  Jarvis snapped.

“Therefore, my suggestion is that Mr. Jarvis and Mr. Cocker be allowed to recover the carriage, as they have been instructed…”  Aefelthrith began.

“’Ang about, what about us?”  Dolly shouted.

“As I said, they should recover the carriage, but there’s nothing to say that they have to take a direct route back with it, is there?”  Aefelthrith raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not sure as how I…”  Jarvis frowned.

“…know what you mean, miss?”  Cocker asked.

“I mean, why not drive the carriage to it’s originally intended destination?  I think you said it was about half a day away, did you not, Reverend?”

“That’s c…c…correct” Clarence agreed.

“Oh, I dunner…”  Jarvis looked dubious.

“… know ‘bout that” Cocker agreed, with a sharp intake of breath.

“I believe you were heading for an inn, were you not Parson?”  Aefelthrith looked pointedly at Clarence, “One tended by your good lady wife’s parents, I understand?  Who, I am sure, would be more than grateful to see their first grandchild and who would doubtless wish to be more than hospitable to whomsoever brought their family home?”

“Undoubtedly!”  Clarence beamed.

“Well…” Jarvis mused.

“…erm”  Cocker grimaced.

“All we could offer, I should warn you, is plentiful food, good wine and convivial company” Clarence eyed them, speculatively.

“No skin…”  Jarvis shrugged.

“…off of our…”  Cocker nodded.

“…nose, I reckon!”  Jarvis grinned.

“Nice one, Ethel” Gwladys patted her colleague on the back, “nice one!”

Don't despair if you've only just joined these adventures, you can quickly catch up with the story so far with this Collection:

The Chronicles of a Young Lady (and her Maid)