Saunter (Episode 16 - The Further Chronicles of a Young Lady (and her Maid))

Continued from Episode 15 - Date

The story so far:  Gwladys and Aefelthrith have started a new life running a pawn shop, formerly owned by 'Anty Marj', having discovered the shop when they attempted to pawn Aefelthrith's ring, and Anty Marj suddently vanished before the deal was completed.  Finding her lifeless body in the Stock Room, Aeflethrith decided this was a sign that they should take over the business.  With Anty Marj safely stowed in an outhouse, Gwladys and Aefelthrith set about managing the pawn shop and all seemed to be going reasonably well, until  Anty Marj's body vanished and an officer of the Watch, appeared.  When the Watch produced a confused Anty Marj, wondering why someone else was in her shop, Gwladys managed to convince her that she had sold the shop to them, palming Aefelthrith's ring into her pocket to demonstrate payment.  A suddenly hugely enriched Anty Marj went away a happy woman and the Watch withdrew, satisfied.  Meanwhile, Gwladys engaged a young urchin, 'Arry, to help clear the back garden of weeds, as a means of giving him a bit of income to support his poorly mother and avoid him either going down the pit or up the chimney, much to Aefelthrith's displeasure. The following morning, 'Arry set about his task bright and early and all was well, until he produced a skull from his digging.  Gwladys swore him to secrecy and quiickly buried the evidence, which gave them a breathing space, but then Sergeant Argent of the Watch appeared in the shop.  Fortunately, he was not pursuing his enquiries but was, to her extreme shock and horror, pursuing Aefelthrith, who promptly decided to run away before she had to give him an answer but was crestfallen when she realised the Gwladys was not prepared to come with her.  After a heated exchange of views, an uneasy peace was declared over a bowl of stew!  The next day, 'Arry turned up for work and told them that his Mam said the place had always been a shop BUT Anty Marj had originally had a partner, thought to be her sister, whose name was Sarah, and who had disappeared.  Coincidentally, Sarah was the name that Gwladys had told Anty Marj was the name of their shared relative.  With this news, Gwladys tried even harder to persuade Aefelthrith to go out with Sergeant Argent so that they could find out more, to which she eventually agreed but only with the proviso that Gwladys should serve as chaperone.  Now, finally on their 'date', Sergeant Argent is regaling Aefelthrith with tales of the town and Gwladys is getting frustrated:

“Such a nice evening for a stroll” Aefelthrith smiled.

“Very temperate, ma’am” Sergeant Argent nodded.

“Gerronwivit!” Gwladys muttered behind them.

Aefelthrith sighed, turned to look daggers at her colleague, and then said;

“When I asked you if you knew anything about the history of the town, I am rather afraid that I had an ulterior motive”

“Is that so, ma’am?” The Sergeant raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“Yes, indeed.  You see, there was a particular aspect of the town’s history in which I was interested, that being the history of our establishment.  Such as, for example, what did it used to be, who owned it, and so forth?”

“Ah, there you have me at a loss, ma’am.  The shop in question has, in my brief tenure here, always been owned and run by the woman I now know as ‘Anty Marj’.  That, I am afraid, is as much as I can supply” The Sergeant admitted, bashfully.

“Oh, that is a disappointment”

“Bugger!” A low voice behind them said, with feeling.

“However, I feel sure that my Constable would have some knowledge”

“Such a pity he is not with us” Aefelthrith smiled, sweetly.

“Not a sentiment with which I would whole-heartedly concur, ma’am,” Sergeant Argent shook his head,  “but I share your frustration at my lack of knowledge.  However, I would say, from repeated experience, that he is never far away.  Like the poor, he is always with us.  Would you like me to summon him?”

“Well, if you think it might help…”

“CONSTABLE!” The Sergeant yelled into the evening air.

Apart from one or two people staring out of their windows to see what all the fuss was about, there was no immediate effect.

“Perhaps he decided to grant you some privacy, after all?”  Aefelthrith wondered.

“Hmm, I suppose there might be a first time for everything, ma’am” The Sergeant nodded, dubiously.

Gwladys, watching this unfold, felt a movement of air beside her, a sharp dig in her side from a bony elbow, and then;

“’Ello Darlin’!”  Constable John was present.

He winked at Gwladys, who responded with a heartfelt,

“Bugger off!”

And then scampered to be in front of his superior officer.

“Yeah?” He said, with a questioning twitch of the head.

“Not ‘yeah’, Constable” Sergeant Argent sighed, “we have had this conversation many times before.  What do you say when summoned by a senior officer?”

The Constable looked puzzled, took off his battered helmet, and scratched his head.

“’Owdo?” He ventured, eventually.

“No, not ‘Howdo’” Sergeant Argent stamped his foot, “You say ‘Sir?’ or ‘Yes, sir?’ or any variation on that theme, is that clear?”

“Yeah” Constable John nodded.

“So, what do you say?” Sergeant Argent was becoming increasingly flushed with this exchange.

“Oh, right” Constable John slapped his helmet back onto his head, stood, more or less, to attention, saluted and said,

“Sir? Or Yes sir? Or any variation on that theme.  Yeah?”

“Constable, in my more optimistic moments, I hope that I am making progress with you.” Sergeant Argent sighed, deeply.  “This is not one of those moments”

“I was asking, Constable, if you knew anything about our shop and who used to own it?” Aefelthrith intervened.

“Werl…” Constable John stroked his grizzled chin and looked thoughtful, “’Sfar as I ‘member, it were empty for years, dunno what it was afore that”

“Anty Marj took it over, did she not?” Aefelthrith prompted.

“Yeah, ‘er an’ that Sarah” Constable John nodded.

“Ah, now that is new information” Sergeant Argent nodded, sagely.

“’Cause, yer’d know about that Sarah, you two, wouldn’tcher?”  Constable John gave Aefelthrith a sly look,  “You bein’ ‘er cousins an’ all, eh?”

“Yer’ve got a good memory, ain’tcher?” Gwladys said.

“When yer canna read nor write, yer ‘ave to ‘ave a good memory” Constable John said, proudly.

“If he does not read or write, how ever do you manage?” Aefelthrith asked the Sergeant.

“Well, we seem to muddle through” Sergeant Argent shrugged and looked a little sheepish, “He remembers what we have seen, what has been said and so forth, and I, subsequently, write it down”

“Why should England tremble?” Gwladys muttered.

“I’m sorry, ma’am?”  Sergeant Argent frowned.

“Werl, ‘e remembers stuff an’ you write it down, it ain’t exactly what yer might expect from law ‘n’ order professionals, izzit?”

“I will have you know, ma’am, that, as a system, it works very effectively indeed.  The incidence of crime, since my tenure in this town, has been remarkably low” Sergeant Argent drew himself up to his full height.

“Not tharrit were ‘xactly an ‘otbed of sin, afore that” Constable John pointed out.

“Do you have any idea what happened to Sarah?” Aefelthrith tried to regain control of the conversation.

“Didn’t she tell yer?”  Constable John grinned.

“No, we have not heard from her for some time” Aefelthrith blushed slightly at the lie.

“That right?” The Constable raised an eyebrow, “Werl, nah, not really.  One day she were ‘ere, next she weren’t.”

“Didner no-one ask?”  Gwladys asked.

“Nah, there were only me then” Constable John explained, “I were run off me feet”

“I thought you said that it wasn’t ‘an ‘otbed of sin’ before?” Aefelthrith looked at him, suspiciously.

“Werl, there’s allus summat, I’nt there?” The Constable squirmed a bit and shrugged.

“I accept that it might have been somewhat remiss not to have made further enquiries” Sergeant Argent agreed, “But Constable John was managing a considerable workload on his own, with little or no formal training”

Constable John beamed at the unexpected praise.

“Even so, a woman just disappearing like that…” Aefelthrith frowned.

“You are quite correct, ma’am” Sergeant Argent bowed slightly, “enquiries should have been, and will be made”

“Werl now, ‘ang on a minute” Gwladys intervened, “It’s been ages, annit?  ‘Ow yer gonna make enquiries?”

“I think we would commence with an inspection of the premises” Sergeant Argent said, grandly.

“Bugger!” Gwladys muttered.

“Would it not be simpler to ask Anty Marj?” Aefelthrith suggested.

“If we knew where that lady was, then, of course, that would be a first-rate suggestion” Sergeant Argent beamed at her, “But, in her absence, I’m afraid we have to start somewhere, so…”

“This ‘asn’t worked out ‘ow I thought it would” Gwladys hissed at Aefelthrith, “yer gonna ‘ave ter do summat!”

“Like what?” Aefelthrith hissed back.

“Yer’ll ‘ave to use yer womanly willies”

“My what?”

“Yer know, beguile ‘im” Gwladys nudged her and winked.

“Where am I going to find a big aisle at this time of night?” Aefelthrith looked puzzled.

“Why is nowt ‘round ‘ere, simple and straightforward” Gwladys sighed and rubbed her forehead.

You can find the previous adventures of Gwladys and Aefelthrith in both Kindle and paperback formats at The Chronicles of a Young Lady (and her Maid (link is external)

Now read Episode 17