The Slurry With The Cringe On Top!

India and Rohan had been having a wonderful time playing ‘chase’ with the neighbour’s dogs.  It was a marvellously warm summer’s morning; the sun was high in the sky and every scent on the breeze was sharp and enticing.  The fact that they had been strictly instructed NOT to go out of the sight of Turnpike Cottage had, momentarily, gone out of their minds, as they tumbled and chased about the fields. 

Eventually, the neighbour’s dogs decided that it was time that they returned to their farm and India and Rohan realised just how far from home they had strayed and began to make their way back.

“We’re going to be in so much trouble…again!” India fretted.

“They won’t even notice we’re mithing” Rohan reassured her.

“Huh!” India snorted, “mum’ll know, just you wait and see”

They rounded a corner and came upon a large pool of greeny-black liquid.

“Oooooh!” Rohan said, eyes wide with excitement.

“Ah yes” India nodded, “slurry”

“Thlurry?”

India stared at her companion for a moment or two, and then said,

“Close enough”

“What’th thlurry?”

“Well, you know the cows on this farm have to be milked?”

“Yeth”

“Well, when they’re milked, they go into a shed or barn sort of place.  While they’re in there, they tend to do what cows do” India explained.

“What?  Moo?”

“Well, yes, they do that too, but they also have to poo and widdle don’t they?  And because they’re on hard flooring, all that poo and widdle stays there, instead of going into the grass and soil”

“Right” Rohan sat down and scratched for a bit to show that he was thinking.

“Then, when all the cows have been milked, the people have to hose the floors down with water to get rid of all the poo and wee.  That all mixes together and forms a sort of pond, like here”

“Oh wow!” Rohan stared at the slurry pit, tail wagging furiously, “ithn’t it great!”  He exclaimed.

“It’s very smelly, I know that”

“Yeah” Rohan nodded, happily, “it’th wonderful.  It’th tho thtrong, you can’t thmeill anything elthe, can you?”

India knew what he meant.  A dog’s nose is incredibly powerful, so much so that forty times more of a dog’s brain is devoted to analysing smells than that of a person.  But sometimes, you came across a smell SO powerful that it blocks out all the other smells.  This was one of those times.

“Come on, we should be going” India started to head away from the pit.

“Aww, jutht a few more minuteth!” Rohan whined, “can’t make any differenth, can it?”

“We’re going to be in so much trouble if mum finds out we’ve gone astray, again”

“Yeah, but…” Rohan took a couple of steps nearer to the pit, “I jutht want to…”

“Rohan no!” India snapped.

“Jutht want to thee what it feelth like” Rohan said, still advancing toward the pit.

“Rohan, I’ve told you once” India said, in a low warning growl.

“If I could jutht…” Rohan took another step forward and now both of his front paws were in the liquid at the edge of the pit, “Ooh, thquidgy” He giggled, happily.

“ROHAN! Mum will go mad if you go home covered in slurry!  Come out of there at once!”

“It’th really warm and thludgy” Rohan said, tail wagging furiously, “I’ll juth go a bit more…”

“ROHAN! I won’t tell you again” India warned, but Rohan was advancing further into the greeny-black lake.  All four paws were now firmly in it and the mess was halfway up his chest.

“I wonder if you can thwim in it?” Rohan mused, and then tried to find out.  There was some treacly splashing before he vanished under the crust of the lake.

“ROHAN!” India yelled, at the top of her voice, but there was no sign of him.  ‘Oh no’ she thought, ‘he could drown in that.  I’ve got to get him out”

Taking a very deep breath and swallowing hard, India dived into the foul-smelling pond.  Just as she did, the crust broke and up came Rohan, splashing happily.

“Ithn’t thith brilliant?”  He yelled.

India, who was now doggy-paddling her way toward him, didn’t agree.

“Look at what you’ve made me do!” She snapped, “now we’re both covered in it!  I thought you were in trouble”

“No” Rohan shook his head, spraying the vile liquid in all directions and particularly over India, “jutht wanted to thee what wath under there, that’th all”

“You’re impossible!” India spluttered, “we need to get out of here, now!”

“Awww, can’t I jutht thtay in a bit longer?”

“No, you can’t!  Goodness knows what mum will say when she sees us.  Now, come on!”  India grabbed Rohan’s collar in her mouth and began to tug him back to the edge.

“You’re no fun” Rohan grumbled.

“I’m covered in slurry, that’s what I am” India managed to snarl, despite having a mouthful of Rohan’s collar.

The two dogs eventually clambered out of the pit, in Rohan’s case with great reluctance.

“That’th the betht thing I’ve ever done, ever!” He said, eyes gleaming, shaking himself vigorously and depositing most of his slurry covering over India.

“Well, thanks a lot!” India said, sarcastically, “and what about thanking me for dragging you out of danger?”

“Wathn’t in danger” Rohan sulked.

“You most certainly were.  You couldn’t possibly know how deep that pit was and, when something smells as strong as that does, you could soon find it difficult to breathe”

“Could breathe jutht fine” Rohan continued to sulk.

“Yes, but for how much longer?  They’re dangerous places, slurry pits” India frowned at her evil-smelling companion, whose golden coat was now covered in greeny-black sticky stuff, as was hers.  “Come on, we’re going home”

The two dogs bounded back across the fields, India ahead, with her tail well down as she worried about how they would be greeted, followed by Rohan, whose tail was also down because he was sulking and wanted to go back to the slurry pit.

Presently, they could see Turnpike Cottage and their pace quickened.  When they both spotted mum in the distance, Rohan bounded ahead.

“Oh no!  What have you two been up to?”  Mum exclaimed as the two foul-smelling hounds lolloped toward her, “don’t you dare come near…”  She began, and cringed away, but it was too late.  Rohan had jumped up at her in greeting, covering the front of her clothes with the horrible liquid.

An awful lot of shouting followed, as India had expected.  Of course, because she couldn’t explain what had happened, they were both in trouble for going missing and then coming back covered in filth.  To make matters worse, they both had to be hosed down with ice-cold water until all the slurry had been removed, which neither of them enjoyed.

Later, they were curled up in their crate in the kitchen, drying off and definitely out of favour.  In the utility room, the washing machine was going fit to burst as it tried to clean mum’s clothes.

“This is all your fault!!” India grumbled, “I wanted to come straight home but, oh no, you had to go and swim in a slurry pit!”

“You didn’t have to come in ath well” Rohan pointed out.

“I was trying to save you” India snapped, “I thought you were going to drown!”

“Ah, you worry too much” Rohan yawned and rolled over.

‘Yes, I do’ India thought, ‘and I know why I do.’  She remembered the fear, the smells, the clang of the van door.  She shook herself and tried to settle down again.

“Night Injure” Rohan said, sleepily.

“It’s INDIA, I..N..D..oh, the heck with it, night Rohan!”

You can find more stories about the dogs at Turnpike Cottage in the paperback collection of stories 'Waggy Dog Tales'.  Available from Amazon but, to maximise the donation to TURN Education, please buy direct from me (and get a signed copy ).  This link tells you how.