C-LTA Chapter four

"Sorry, I had to." He said rubbing the arm where I punched him. "Are
you ever going to tell me what you said?"

"Nope, it'll go with me to my grave..." I said then noticed the emotion
on his face flicker. "Sorry bad choice of words. I'm okay now. Thank
you for everything."

"It was my pleasure, I would do anything to make you feel better." He
said smiling and then turned to go order the ice cream.

I moved away from the car and walked toward a picnic table that was set
up at the side of the building. I sat on the table part, and looked up
and was looking at the stars above me. I picked out one that seemed
brighter than the rest and closed my eyes and wished on it. When I
opened them again I saw Aaron standing in front of me holding out my
cone.

"What did you wish for?" He asked sitting next to me and taking a bite
of ice cream.

"What makes you think I was making a wish? Besides I wouldn't tell you
if I did anyway." I replied.

"If you tell me maybe I'll help you make it come true."

"No, thanks. You know what I do every once in a while when I look up at
the stars? I look up to find the three brightest ones; they don't have
to be together. Usually I do this while I'm lying on my back so it's
easier. I can't remember the last time I did it though." I said smiling
then continued my search for the stars.

"Why three stars?" He asked clearly intrigued.

"One for my sister, one for my dad, and one for my grandfather." I said
evenly.

"Did they pass away?" He asked with slight edge sadness in his
voice.

"Yeah, my dad died when I was only a baby. My sister died when I was
ten years old, and my grandfather died in November of that same year.
So I look for the three brightest stars, and think that they are my
family looking down at me from heaven. I remember the first time I did
this was when I was in high school. I was with my friend and I was
really upset about something, and he suggested I look for their stars.
I did and when I found them, I saw a falling star streak across the
sky. When I saw it, I just knew it was true, so I've done it whenever I
can. No matter if I'm happy or I'm sad, or if it's warm or cold out. I
just lay on a blanket and find my stars, and I feel them around me." I
said glancing up at the sky then to Aaron to see what he thought.

"Do you think we'll see a falling star tonight? I heard somewhere that
if two people see a falling star at the same time they are bound
together for life. Kind of like soul mates, but different." He said
studying the sky with me.

"I don't know. You never know." I said shrugging my shoulders.

So we sat there searching the stars looking for answers, for hope, for
a chance. We sat there even after our ice cream was all finished. Aaron
put an arm around my shoulders and I lay my head on his shoulder. I was
about to tell him that we should get going when I saw it. A falling
star. I felt his hand squeeze my shoulder and I realized he saw it too.
I silently thanked my three stars and smiled. We continued to look at
the stars for a few more minutes until I felt Aaron remove his arm
around my shoulders. The moment ended, the connection was broken.

"You ready to go back to school?" He asked glancing over at me.

"I guess. I wish I could just stay out here and stare up at the sky all
night."

"Maybe another night." He said with a tone of promise and hope in his
voice. "Come on let's get going. Before they arrest us for
loitering."

He drove me back to the school; I lingered in the car not wanting to go
into my building.

"Do I have to go? Do you have to go? I have plenty of space in my
closet." I said sighing heavily reaching for my door handle.

"Yes, you have to go, and yes I have to go. I will be here tomorrow,
just come find me I'll be around." He replied laughing a little.

"All right if you insist. Are you sure about the closet? I hear it is
pretty comfy, at least that's what Harry the monster who resides under
my bed says. He visits his sister Cynthia who lives in the closet. I've
never met Cynthia, although she likes to hide my shoes a lot." I said
trying one last time.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now go, before I introduce you to Gerald who lives in
the trunk of my car." He replied laughing and trying to one up my
joke.

"Ok, I'm gone. Thanks for the ice cream. Good night." I said opening
the door and exiting the car. "You absolutely positive?"

"Yes! Now go!" He said trying to pretend to be mad, but laughing
uncontrollably instead.

"Good night then."

"Good night Allison."

He waited until I walked through the door to drive away. I looked over
my shoulder at the retreating car and sighed.

I got to my room and immediately went to my computer. I saw the little
mailbox had a little envelop in it. I have mail. I opened it and saw
that it was just junk mail. Oh well, I just spent practically all night
with Aaron, that was all I need. Well it's off to bed.

Tuesday was almost a total blur. The only thing that struck me as out
of the ordinary was the look Ashley kept on giving me all through
Shakespeare then all through World Lit. I felt like I was under a
microscope or something. I'm not the one who did anything wrong. I had
to end it the best way I could. I'm sorry I hurt him, but I'm not sorry
I did it. I don't understand why I'm the one who is on trial. And why
does it feel like my best friend is the judge and jury? Of course I
didn't want to cause another disagreement with her so I just let it be.
It's the last thing I want is to lose my best friend over something so
stupid as how I handled a situation with a guy.
Wednesday morning I forgot to set my alarm. I groggily looked at my
clock with my eyes half closed. I snapped into a sitting position when
I realized what time it was. I was going to be majorly late for class.
So I hurriedly got a shower, and got dressed and made a mad dash down
the hill. I made it with a minute to spare. I walked into the door and
everyone was sitting around chatting. Rose and Sarah looked up from
talking to Jeff when I came in. I just thought to myself last thing I
need is those two trying to analyze my lack of relationship with Aaron
or any other guy. I looked at the two of them as to say I don't want to
be bothered. Unfortunately they ignored it and came bounding over to
me.

"So?" Rose asked.

"Nothing happened." I said looking her in the eye to signal I didn't
want to talk about it.

"But you guys were so cozy Monday." Sarah interjected.

"Stuff happens." I said shrugging and sitting on the step.

"Did something happen between the two of you?" Rose said trying to
figure out what might have happened from Monday morning to today.

"Nothing, I have other stuff going on in my life." I said quickly. "I
don't feel like getting into it right now ok."

"Sure. We understand." Sarah said putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks." I smiled weakly at her.
Luckily, at that moment Aaron came through the door followed by Mrs. S.
So technically he wasn't late. I smiled at him, and he sat beside me
and patted my knee. "How are you?" He asked.

"I'm ok. Ashley was practically driving daggers through me with her
eyes yesterday. I have no clue what is going on with her." I replied
quietly so only he could hear.

"Sorry to hear that."

"No skin off my back." I said shrugging.

"We'll talk later." He said as Mrs. S. signaled for all of us to gather
around her.

Class went on and we did some very strange vocal exercises. We all felt
like idiots. One good thing about that though, is you can all be idiots
together. Every once in a while Aaron would catch my eye and would
smile, and I would smile back. It wasn't a forced smile either, not
like most days when I'm with my other friends. I feel like I constantly
have to put up this facade where I must be the strong one. The one who
is happy, it doesn't matter if my world happens to be crashing around
me.

When class was over I gathered my things and waited for Aaron by the
door. Rose and Sarah passed by and smiled weakly at me.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Rose asked.
I merely nodded at the two of them avoiding eye contact at all costs.
As though if they looked me in the eye they would know how hurt I
actually was. And if they knew, they would ask more questions and pry
it out of me. I didn't want to deal with questions, because the answers
I wasn't sure about myself. They were buried deep and I wasn't about to
uncover them any time soon.
My thoughts were broken when I felt a hand on my elbow leading me out
of the door, down the stairs and outside. It wasn't until I was outside
that I looked at the owner of the hand. Aaron stood beside me staring
at me intently.

Searching my face for answers that I knew he wouldn't be able to
find.

"Where's that smile?" He asked kindly.

"It went home for the day." I said blandly.

"Come on. I want to show you something." He said leading me to his
car.

"What?" I said getting slightly grouchy.
"You'll see."

"I don't like surprises."

"You'll like this one." He replied noting my sarcasm but not letting it
bother him.

So we drove up the hill and he led me to the basement of Lynch to where
many of the art classes are held. He pulled out a stool by a table and
motioned for me to sit.

"Why are we here?" I said sitting on the stool taking in all of the
sights.

"Just wait one second," he said rummaging through giant folders and
boxes that resemble my grandfather's old tackle box. Soon he had in his
hand one of the giant folders and placed it in front of me. "Here you
go."

"What is this?" I asked him looking through wonderful pages upon pages
of art.

"This is my portfolio." He said smiling.
I looked through all of them, and started to look at his photographs.
My mood started to lift slightly as I sifted through the pictures of
every sort. My breath caught when I saw this beautiful picture of a
sunset. It was too beautiful for words to even give it justice.

"This is great!" I said pointing to the
photograph.

"There's a story behind every artwork. I chose to write with light. Let
my camera be my pen and the film be my paper." Aaron said smiling at
me. "You're a writer, you write about people and their feelings. I take
pictures and capture those feelings in that moment."

"If I had even half the talent that you have, I think I would go far."
I told him.
I felt a surge of pride go through me. He has so much talent, that I
didn't even know about. He can just push a button on a camera and
capture a beautiful that only I thought were possible in my dreams. I
felt like showing all of my friends these glorious pieces of art, and
go "see this is my friend and this is what he can do." Then the surge
of pride left and I was left with a weird cloud of doubt. What am I
doing? He's a great artist and a great person. He will go to great
places, and I'll be stuck teaching kids to be great artists like him. I
suddenly felt young, and immature. I looked at him; I smiled weakly at
him and put the picture of the beautiful sunset down. Tears started to
sting my eyes. I fooled myself into thinking that I even had a minute
chance with him. He only sees me as a little girl. A foolish, and sad
little girl. Someone who he can help, and take pity on. I blinked back
the tears and a wave of anger swept over me. I took a deep breath and
closed the folder. I stared at the folder in front of me not sure what
to do next.

"Thanks." I said barely audibly.

"No problem." He said genuinely. " If you want any of those photos I
could try and make a copy."

"No, that's fine." I said sadly.

"I didn't help you much did I?" He said putting a hand on my
shoulder.

I shrugged off the hand, it feeling as though it had burned me. The
look on
Aaron's face looked sort of pained.

Maybe I was wrong; maybe he didn't feel pity for me. Maybe he really
wanted to help me. However, helping me didn't mean I ever had a chance
with him. I have entered the land called Pal land. Where I become Al
the Pal, where all I will ever be is a friend, the little sister.

"What's wrong?" He said sitting on the table in front of me.

His eyes were level with mine; they seemed to bore into my soul.
Everything that I was thinking evaporated, and tears flooded my eyes. I
looked down at the floor, to avoid his gaze. He put a gentle hand below
my chin and lifted it so I was looking at him again.

"I don't know anymore." I said still looking at him.

Aaron didn't say anything, he hesitantly put his arms around me like he
did Monday night and let me cry. When he realized I wasn't going to
push him away he gave me a little squeeze.

"I think pretty soon, you'll have to have your shirt equipped with
tissues." I said after a few minutes when my tears subsided.

"That's my girl." He smiled at me.

"Come on, I have to get some homework done. Plus, I feel the need to
write."

"I'm glad, about the writing, not the homework."

"Yeah, it's been a while since I've been able to write something other
than a term paper."

"I hope it goes well." He said smiling at me. "I'll walk you to your
room."

"Thanks. Don't be too frightened ok."

"Why would I be frightened?"

"My room, it can be quite a disaster area. Sometimes I can't even see
all of my floor."

"That is scary."

"Don't worry. Today is a good day. I promise I won't let my room eat
you." I said as we got into the elevator to the fourth floor.

"I'll have to hold you to that promise. Although you never did tell me
what those mutterings were all about." He said looking at me.

"You'll never let that go will you?" I asked, pulling the gate open,
then the heavy steal door of the elevator.

"I don't plan on it. There's only one solution to it." He said, as I
stopped in front of my door.

"And that solution would be?" I said preparing to put my key in the
door.

"To tell me of course," he said calmly putting himself in between the
door and me. "So are you?"

"And have all of this fun come to an end? Never. Once you know, then
you won't pay nearly as much attention to me. I feel like I'm being
bribed. What's next? A bright light facing me and you'll interrogate
me?" I said sliding my hand so I was grazing his side to open my
door.

"Hey, that sounds like a good idea! I see that you have one on your
desk too-" He said, giggling and stepping in my room heading toward my
desk.

"Oh no you don't!" I said grabbing my light before he could.

He retaliated by tickling me in the side. I put down the lamp so; I had
both hands to defend myself. I started to tickle him in the
sides.

"Ok, I give up." He said in between laughs.

I stopped tickling him, and held up my hands. "Ok are you going to stop
pestering me about what I said, or what goes on in my head?"

"Nope." He said, and started to tickle me again.

I stepped back to get away from his reach but I ended up falling onto
my bed instead, and Aaron fell on top of me. He stopped tickling me and
looked at me for a second. I felt myself hold my breath, and I noticed
that his face was only a fraction of an inch away from mine. A knock at
my door interrupted the moment and both Aaron and I stood up.