Love Song for a Serial Killer; (Love Emma).

Did you ever find yourself in a place; a place so dark that the boundaries between sanity and madness become one? A place where the very core of your inner self dances on the brink of lucidity? All the while, something black, pulling you under?
For this is the very place in which I now stand as the delicate thread separating life and death holds me within the palm of its hand, time momentarily suspended; frozen.

‘’He’s reformed.’’ They said. But I knew that, all along. I knew it from the moment I heard the softness of his words, etched within the pages of that very first letter. James. My James. And I knew it from the first time I visited him and looked into the depth of his eyes, seeing something that few ever had; little more than the child he once was; hurting; afraid.
He never ‘meant’ to do it! And sometimes in life, we all go a little crazy. But then, surely we all deserve a second chance?

And madness? It can be seen within the faces of those that we see in our everyday lives; upon the face of a stranger that passes us by on the street as we pretend that we too are ‘well adjusted’. The madness is everywhere!

The media of course had a field day when the time came for him to finally be released; despair and grief of the victims’ families staring back from a multitude of tabloids, reciting their loss. Their stories of how it feels to lose a loved one in a horrendous, unforgiving and brutal way. They would never get over their losses; each and every one of them, having been damaged; lost something they would never ever get back. And each and every one of them, broken.
‘Schizophrenic’, they called him. But his medication has changed all of that. Science is an amazing thing! A, ‘cold, blooded, serial killer’ they labelled him. But that is all in the past now.

And you see, love conquers all. That’s what they have always said. And no one knows that better than me. That’s why I continued to write him, each and every day for five, long years. And that’s why I penned him a love song; unique and heartfelt. Because no one has ever loved me the way that he does. They never will. I know that.. And no one will ever love him as I do.

And today is the day that he will finally be free. The day upon which the horrors of the past will finally disappear. And the day upon which we will finally be ‘one’; our union of love like that which no man will ever understand.And of course, we discussed marriage, many times. Yet I cannot go to meet him as he takes his first steps of freedom after more than twenty years; it’s better that I do not. Instead the doctor will collect him; Doctor Foreshaw. I’ve heard he is a very nice man!
And Doctor Foreshaw will do just as he has promised. And soon, the blade of the scalpel will slice into the soft flesh of my lover, forcing him into an unthinkable, living hell; screaming mercilessly as pain tears him into a blackened, sanctuary of unconsciousness. And soon, we will never be parted; again.
Because soon, he will be someone new. Someone without a past; someone who can carve their own future But this was never going to be a painless journey. And after that first incision, just twelve hours more and it will all have been worth it. Because I am waiting; the world is awaiting this grand unveiling. In just ten days time it will all be over and society will no longer be afraid of the man he once was. Because in ten days time, the fear, the excitement and the nightmare, will really begin. As he looks back from the mirror at his reflection and says;

‘’I have always loved you James. Love Emma.’’