Why pigeons mock us and poop on our towns.

The bathroom window was part open the way John likes it always to be when he was in there first thing in the morning. That way he can breathe fresh air and hear the noises from the city street below. 

Last Wednesday morning as he was sat there doing his business, a pigeon landed on the windowsill. It pecked about a bit then turned to look in John’s direction, not knowing what was going on and how indiscreet he was being. He stood there on his orange legs with his head tilted to one side giving him the appearance of inquisitiveness.

It took a while, but eventually the pigeon figured out what was going on with John sitting there reading a newspaper and whistling. He couldn’t believe it at first, but when he was sure of it all he cooed in derision then flew off in a flap straight over to the abandoned factory where all the pigeons of the district had made a home for themselves.

At dusk, when all the pigeons were gathering to roost, the bird that had been on John’s windowsill told them what all he’d seen that morning. “It’s the strangest thing”, he told them. “Humans have poop stations that they flock to when they need to drop their guano!!” 

All the other pigeons cooed in incredulity. There was great consternation at first but as the intrepid explorer went over all the details of John’s morning doings that he had witnessed from the bathroom windowsill, consternation soon turned to mirth.

This is why, dear reader, pigeons like to perch on bathroom windowsills; they all want to verify for themselves what they have been told about humans using poop stations, and every time they witness such a sight they start to giggle uncontrollably, their bowels weaken and they drop their guano everywhere.