Rise of a Prodigy: Chapter one

By rbodenham
- 620 reads
Rise of a Prodigy: Chapter one.
As the sun rose over the walled town of Breteres, a horse drawn coach
stood outside a young woman’s house as her family said their last
goodbyes to her. Her mother kissed her daughter on both cheeks. Her
little brother embraced her tightly. Her strong Father patted her on the
back as he held back his tears. Then the young woman climbed onto the
coach, the grey haired driver got the horses moving, and her old life
was over. The coach passed out of the gates of the town onto the open
road, leaving behind the only world she had ever known
For Elisa Varian was to become a Prodigy of Aarllann, a servant of
the realm of Gardena. At Elleden tower she would gain true mastery of
all the skills left to mankind by those who now walk the stars, just
like her big sister Lalea. She would learn true alchemy, elemental
control, the ancient healing arts, and a thousand more all too wonderful
to even imagine doing. She had studied all of these things in theory
for almost as long as she could read. Now on her eighteenth birthday she
was getting the chance to try them out for herself.
She fidgeted in her seat. Sitting still with nothing to do had never
come easy to her, even less so when she was excited about something. She
hadn’t even been allowed to bring a book with her on the journey. No
bags or anything in fact, as she was to get new clothes when she
arrived. She hoped that the first thing they would teach her at the
tower was how to make time go faster.
All she could do was stare out of the coach window, out onto the
rolling green fields of the heartlands. She could see sheep grazing,
horses pulling ploughs and children playing by rivers and streams.
Everything seemed to glow under the warm sun. The heartlands weren’t
called ‘paradise on earth’ for nothing.
“Will I ever see any of this again?” Elisa thought to herself, as the
carriage sped past Lake Cromvaril. As excited as she was to finally be
fulfilling her dream to go to Elleden tower, there were still quite a
few nagging little doubts in her mind that she couldn’t get rid of. For
one thing, even though all the letters Lalea had sent had been full of
wonderful stories about how she was having such a wonderful time and was
learning so much, she had never been allowed to come home for a visit.
In fact the only time Lalea had mentioned leaving the tower at all was
the occasional trip into the city. Elisa knew that she would have to
prepare to give up a lot of things to be a prodigy, but would the chance
of seeing her family again be one of them?
But she knew she had to be ready for anything to be a prodigy. This
was something she had to do, and not just for herself. Her family was so
proud of her. Her grandfather had nearly jumped two feet in the air
when he heard the news that she had been accepted. Her little brother
ran about the house cheering for a whole day, while her mother was too
busy hugging and kissing her to notice. The local inn had heard all
about how two daughters of the Varian family where to be prodigies, as
well as the whole town and a few neighbouring farms by the time her
father was done.
To become a prodigy was not only a great honour, but also an immense
responsibility. Only the brightest were ever accepted, and Elisa knew
she would need to prove why she was worthy . The Elleden tower and all
the prodigies, as well as their master’s the virtuoso’s and the maestro,
where the lifeblood of the kingdom. Their skills and talents where
needed for everything that Gardena needed to survive. Without them there
would be no good harvests, no metal, silver or gold, and no potions or
medicine. For thousands of years the kingdom had depended on the wisdom
handed down from those in the stars to build, prosper and grow. As a
prodigy she would have to be willing to do anything she was asked, for
the sake of the people.
Anything, even if it was to kill. Elisa remembered seeing soldiers
march through her town, on their way to war, some of them never to
return. Gardena was almost always at war, with either the Hoilleten’s to
the west, or one of the other nations that surrounded her, and there
was constant fighting on the borders. Prodigies were taught how to
control fire and lightning, as well as how enchant weapons and armour.
Anything that could be used to protect the kingdom was needed, and
Ellisa couldn’t bear the thought of anyone hurting her family. She hoped
that she would be ready when the time came to do what was asked of her,
no matter what.
The carriage trundled on, over hills and valleys. With every mile
they travelled, Elisa’s restlessness grew. The sights from the window
became less like beautiful images of the beloved countryside of her
homeland, but more like annoying music that reminded a person that they
could be someplace else. The sun had been rising as they had left her
home, and was now beginning to sink down below the hills. She gripped
the leather armrest in frustration, beginning to feel like she would
scream at any moment. Remembering her manners, she lightly tapped the
roof of the coach to get the drivers attention.
“What is it young lady?” came the reply.
“How long will it be before we reach the tower?”
“We won’t make it there today. It’s still about forty miles to go
yet, and it’ll be dark soon. There are rooms for us at the Running Hound
Inn, just outside Clearlove.”
She had been tossing and turning in her bed for weeks in anticipation of this day. How could she stand to wait one more night?
“Will we get to the tower tomorrow?” she called again, hoping for a good answer.
“Don’t worry yourself young lady. We’ll leave at first light of dawn
tomorrow. The roads will be empty then, which means we’ll make it to
True Wind gate at midday. The tower guards will take you from there.”
Better news, then. She would have thrown herself out of the coach in
despair if he had told her they would have got there any later. Her
nerves and anticipation began to settle a bit as she settled back down
into the coach chair, once again allowing herself to glance out of the
window. As the sun continued to go down and the first stars began to
shine in the sky, she daydreamed about all the things she would learn at
Elleden tower, and how wonderful it would be to see her sister again.
She was roused from these daydreams by the driver tapping on the
window and telling her that they had arrived at the running hound.
Letting him open the door for her and help her down from the coach, she
looked to her right to see the running hound inn. It shone like a beacon
in the dark night, with its torchlights shining. It was a large three
story house that stood just beside the highway. It looked well-kept and
respectable enough, with chalk white walls and an Oakwood ceiling. The
stables adjoining the house were full of horses, and several other
coaches where pulled up outside. She could hear music and load voices
coming from the inn, and could see a few men stumbling around on the
front porch.
“Are you sure we have rooms here?” she asked the driver.
“Booked and paid for them myself miss. Now let’s get inside, then
straight up to bed with you. Remember we’ve an early start in the
morning.”
“Shall I have nothing to eat?” asked Elisa with concern, as she could feel the pangs of hunger in her stomach.
“ There’ll be food for you in your room. Now let’s get inside.”
With that they made their way to the front door of the inn and
stepped inside, and Elisa was hit with a waft of beer and sweat odour
unlike any she had felt before. She was no stranger to what the inside
of an inn was like, having dragged her father out of one or two in her
hometown, but this was something else. The main hall of the inn was full
to bursting, with twenty tables all filled with drinkers. There were
fiddle and lute players weaving in-between the huddled groups of
farmers, labourers, and soldiers. Barmaids ran the gauntlet of touchy
hands as the flagons where quickly drained.
A large, middle aged woman in an apron and blue bonnet came out from
behind the bar and approached them. She seemed to recognize the driver,
asking him “was it you for the two top floor rooms sir?”
“Yes it was. We’ve a coach outside that needs seeing too and a wakeup call first thing in the morning, if you please.”
“Not a problem dearie. Cobba! Shawcroft! Coach outside!” she shouted,
looking back across the room. Two shaggy haired youths leapt up from
one of the tables and ran straight out of door, brushing past Elisa as
they went.
The driver looked over to Elisa with a smile “Look miss I’ll need to
stay down here a bit longer to take care of a few things. Like I said
before, it’s best you don’t delay in getting to bed. The landlady will
show you up to your room”
“Follow me dear” said the landlady, taking Elisa by the arm and
leading her up the stairs. As they made their way through the second
floor corridor the landlady turned to Elisa and asked “ Going to Elleden
tower are you now?
“Y…yes.” Replied Elisa, feeling quite surprised. “How did you guess?”
“ We get a lot of youngsters stop here on the way there. Ooh I bet you must be so excited?!”
“ I am. I really I am. I’ll……”
“Ooh maybe you’ll meet my niece!” The landlady interrupted. “She got
called up to be a prodigy about two years ago! My sister, you should
have seen my sister, she fainted right on the floor when they got the
letter! Oh and my brother in law, who had never run for nothing, did a
full sprint round the village shouting the news!”
The landlady chattered on until Elisa was quite glad to reach her
room. With the landlady rushing off to attend to business downstairs,
she was glad to be left to take care of herself. The room was nice
enough, with a large, comfy looking bed and blue wallpaper. There was a
small table and chair near the corner of the room. On the table, she
could see a plate with a few cuts of beef and cheese on it. besides this
was a small pitcher of milk and a little mug.
It wasn’t much, and Elisa would have liked more, but she didn’t feel
it was right to complain. So she sat down to eat, and was actually
pretty full up by the time she was finished.
She had hardly realised it, but the journey had really tired her out
and there was nothing really to stay up for. So following the driver’s
advice she undressed, got under the covers, and closed her eyes, hoping
for a good night’s sleep to prepare for the day ahead
Unfortunately, that was denied her as she was woken up an hour later
by loud noises coming from just outside the window. As she climbed out
of bed and made to open the curtains, she began to hear two loud voices.
They belonged to two men, and one of them sounded very drunk. The other
voice belonged to Elisa’s coach driver. When Elisa was standing by the
window, she could clearly see the two of them illuminated by the
lamplight, and hear their argument.
“How can you do it!” shouted the drunken man, a ruddy faced old
farmer. “How can you drive that girl up to that bloody place? You got
any idea what you’re doing?”
“Nothing more than an honest day’s work”, replied the coach driver. “
There ain’t anything wrong with the tower. The Maestro’s a wise man,
and without the prodigies we’d be in all sorts a trouble.”
“ I’ll tell you what’s bloody wrong with the tower! My son got sent
there ten years ago, to be a bloody prodigy. I get a letter every month,
but do I see him? No!. I try and visit, and the guards turn me away!
What they bloody hiding, I ask? I tell you, you take that girl anywhere
near that place, and you’re a murderer!”
With that the farmer attempted to swing a punch at the driver, but
instead fell flat on his face into the mud. The driver bent down to pick
him up, and dragged him away, muttering something about sleeping it
off.
With the commotion over, Elisa walked back over to the bed, and
returned under the covers. She had heard silly stories like the farmer’s
before, and never believed them. The driver was right, there was
nothing wrong about the tower. It was the pride of Gardena and the
beacon of the kingdom’s knowledge.
However, the drunken farmer had seemed utterly convinced he was
right, and very angry. Even though she didn’t believe his story, Elisa
couldn’t rid herself of an uneasy feeling, which made her toss and turn
until she got back to sleep.
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Comments
Hi, welcome to ABC Tales.
Hi, welcome to ABC Tales. There's a lot to admire in this opening chapter. You've obviously given a lot of thought and planning to your world - have you finished the rest of the book or is it still a work in progress? However I didn't get much of a feel for Elisa's surroundings eg you talk about the way the scenery changes from that of her homeland, but I'm not clear how. Were the hills higher or more jagged? More or fewer trees? Just an odd word would have given me a clearer idea. The lady at the inn has a bonnet and apron, but I don't know what Elisa is wearing.
I felt there was a little bit too much expostion at the beginning - perhaps a bit of conversation between the family members when they were saying goodbye? However you draw a good picture of the family, and from that we get a vivid idea of how important it is to them that Elisa is a Prodigy.
There's also a good sense of tension and mystery at the end of the chapter.
Looking forward to reading the next part!
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