Car journey, Sat 2/2/12

By Rhiannonw

Sat, 11 Feb 2012
  • 2764 reads
10 comments
 

The air is sharp and bitter,
and icy branches glitter.
The dome above pale blue and clear and cold,
well-sugared views around the car unfold,
gaunt trees reach up like scratchy brooms to sweep,
and sheltered hollows their snow remnants keep.

Certificate U
Poem
Nature
Nature

Comments

Submitted by maisie on
lovely lyrical peice, great phrases, can feel the work, however... a little pruning might make it read better.

maisie angel Guess what?  I'm still alive!

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
Thanks for the comment Maisie. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by scratch on
Beauty and simply written.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
Thanks Scratch. Just a record of some lovely sights, while they were fresh in my mind — like taking a photo, but maybe you can get more into a few lines sometime! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I really like the impact in this one, Rhiannon. Beautifully written, as ever. Tina;-)

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
Thank you, Tina. Been away for a couple of days, so a bit of catching up to do on ABC! regards, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by TVR on
Hi Rhiannonw, in this little gem you have encapsulated a beautiful winter scene as viewed through the window of a car. Very well written. I loved it. sue

TVR

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
Thank you too for your generous comment, Sue, and glad it brought you pleasure. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

HI Rhiannon,

I really do love the way you bring nature to life. Like the sugared views and the scratchy tree branches.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Jean. I enjoyed coming back to this, and it brought the lovely views on that bright February day back fresh on this rather cloudy August morning! Rhiannon